Meat Packers Union

Retirement

2011-03-23T15:02:00.002-06:00

Sometimes the world shifts quickly before your eyes, dear readers.

One minute you're making a sandwich and the next you find your-self wondering how you'll get out of bed to face the day. Sometimes life's surprises are joy-ful, and some-times they bring sad-ness, but experience teaches us to accept disappointment, that there is no surprise in sad-ness, that the only true surprise is when things go your way. Knowing all of this has made it very difficult for me to remain an optimist after all these years.

I have been writing about the Green Bay Packers for over 100 seasons, spanning technologies from feathers-dipped-in-ink to high definition television and the wonders of digital self-publication, where you can say any-damned thing you want. I've watched my favorite team win 13 Championships, capped by our most recent victory in Super-Bowl XLV. I have loved and been loved. And those apogees... those have been great proof to me that there is still value in optimism.

Moments of great-ness make up for all the baloney we put up with.

Even moments of artful sweet-ness can be tarnished with grief, dear readers, and even as I basked in the glory of another Super-Bowl victory, the reality of humanity plunged my family into sorrow.

I lost my dear wife Mooney earlier this month, after a long and rewarding life together, and even though the sudden-ness of this loss has left me heart-broken and weary, I have recovered from the initial shock-wave and begun to revisit the brightest points of our shared time and space - such as this final amazing season of Packers football we were able to enjoy together. And yet I feel immense guilt for the time wasted. I think, every minute I spent fishing or obsessing about the Packers has been moments wasted, I could have done more, I could have been a better husband, a better father... the joy of family is nothing compared to a Super Bowl, and yet we all do this: We do what we do because we are selfish creatures, and no amount of hindsight can re-write history.

You spent your time that way. Those were your priorities.

There's little good in beating your-self up, though, or in lying about how you feel, and that's where I'm stuck, folks. In the night I hope Mooney will visit me as a ghost, but the room is quiet.

I've never been one for rash decisions, I'm a list-maker, I weigh everything out, and so, after several nights by the wood stove, listening to the rain in my old rocking chair, I have decided to retire Meat Packers Union. While I may be heavy-hearted, my decision is not a reaction to loss, but in some ways it is connected, yes. And it helps that the Packers are the reigning champions - in that way it is connected to a positive, too. It makes it easier to drift away from my investment here. Millions of words I have poured into the soil. They say when one door closes another often opens, and so the optimist that still resides within me some-where naturally thinks, what next? It's gloomy but there are still green shoots in this soil.

I would not have been able to lose my dear wife and primary creative out-let in such quick succession had I not set a new goal on the horizon, which is this: One of the last things Mooney gave me was Volume 1 of Mark Twain's auto-biography - a project that troubled Twain for decades. And that has inspired me to tackle a big project of my own. My favorite Twain quote, which I first saw while eating breakfast in a little Wisconsin diner with Mooney, is: "Put all your eggs in one basket, and WATCH THAT BASKET!" For the last 100+ years I have written about the Packers and life, and it's time for me to switch that order. I don't know how I will find the strength to write ferociously again, and it may be months or years, but whenever I am ready to hammer the keys I will strike off into a strange and new direction. The themes will stay the same, but the focus will widen. I'm not sure if it will become my own auto-biography or a novel, but even when confronting my own failures and regrets, I know I have more stories to share.

There is a spring in all of us, I'm convinced, infinite and mysterious.

Before I close this project, I want to thank everyone who took the time to visit and read over the years. Your support was invisible, but important. I have directed my grandson Ike to leave the website live, and I'm sure I'll take random dives into the archives from time to time, and I hope you will do the same. As always, Go Pack Go! Until next time, then,
FG

With Super-Bowl won, I seek the Hodag again

2011-02-24T11:43:00.001-06:00

Welcome back to Meat Packers Union, dear readers! I hope you can forgive my absence over the last week and change. I needed a break after a tenacious run of blogging during the Super-Bowl. Since that glorious win I've been watching lots of playoff games on VHS tape and, like eating a large rib-eye, I required some napping-time to properly digest that Super-Bowl win, plus Mooney got me the first volume of Mark Twain's autobiography, which is thicker than a stack of rib-eyes (and just as wonderful). And there's only so many weeks of ice fishing left on the calendar, so naturally, I've been spending lots of time out in the shanty.

I missed you, though, dear readers, and maybe you missed me... Ike tells me that I've wasted our Super-bowl 'traffic bump' by letting the site go quiet, but my regular readers know I'm not the type of blogger to puke out a new post ever time John Kuhn lights a fart or Charles Woodsen is on the radio-box, especially during the off-season. I don't do this for the traffic or the money (clearly). I can only be me, and every-one needs a vacation from time to time. Today I feel refreshed. I've got the goosey-bumps.

This weekend marks the 70th annual Union Family Hodag Hunt. I would estimate that most Packers fans have some knowledge of the mythical Hodag, but for those that don't, this maniacal creature that lives in the forest-lands surrounding Rhinelander, Wisconsin, has "the head of a frog, the grinning face of a giant elephant, thick short legs set off by huge claws, the back of a dinosaur, and a long tail with spears at the end." You can read more here, if you so desire, but be care-ful, the Hodag has many powers, including mind-control. By seeking him out you run the risk of inviting this evil sonuvabitch into your very soul! It took me and my fellow hunters many years to appreciate and fend off such attacks, and even the most seasoned Hodag enthusiasts are susceptible to his sinister trickery.

The picture above was snapped during the Union Family Hodag Hunt of 1997, immediately after the last Packers Super Bowl victory. This visual evidence is the best 'trophy' any of us has ever captured in 70 years of hunting. As you can see, this critter looks nothing like the 'traditional Hodag' form, but that is part of his clever-ness. Only the most power-ful and sound Hodag Hunters have ever witnessed his true form. He will manifest himself, quite often, as the member of your crew who is least prepared to ward off his powers. We have witnessed this phenomenon many times over the years, but never so strongly as after Super-Bowl Victories. '97 was the first time we had visual recording devices with us during the hunt following such a victory.

Now some of yous may think, FG, that's just your buddy holding two frozen pikes to his head... ease up on the PBRs! That is certainly a good theory, but the problem is this: While the Hodag looks like our buddy Mitch, it was Mitch who took the photo as we held the pitch-forks and torches to keep the monster from attacking. And Mitch was not holding pike-horns, but a 35mm camera! The other clue that reveals the Hodag's presence is the terrifying grin and black eye-balls. I can barely look into them, even many years later. Those readers who have encountered the Hodag or any other sort of demon recognize the ill intentions in that monstrous glare.

Another good question: Why chase the Hodag, especially after Super-Bowl Victories, if he is so dangerous and frightening and powerful? Well, as seasoned professionals in the field of Hodag hunting we take the necessary precautions to defend against his attacks, so despite the terror in your mind the actual danger is quite limited, and the subsequent thrill is rivaled only by Super-Bowl victories and a hand-ful of other earthly delights. But the main reason we seek out the Hodag is because he is amongst the world's finest Packer fans. I would argue, even, that the Hodag is The Finest Packer Fan to roam the universe.

As such, he will usually share secrets about the team that transcend space and time, although due to the Laws of Hodag Encounters I am not at liberty to divulge his revelations (my tongue would turn into a toad if I even tried to speak of them, as would my fingers if I was so foolish as to type them). This was confirmed by our old pal Thompson, who we now call 'Toad-Finger Tom', and also in that we have never been able to record his beautiful song even on the rare hunts when we have seen him in the human dimension and heard that song with our own ears (or perhaps it is understood by another sense).

So with the Super-Bowl won, I seek the Hodag once again, and if history is any indication, I expect to find him out there, in the forest-lands of the north. And if we are lucky and sharp, we may capture another image or video of the creature. And if we are really blessed he may sing to us again, and reveal more fascinating glimpses into the realm of Packers history from seasons we have lived through and those yet-to-be.

Until next time, then,
FG

Super-Bowl Willies, then Title Belt

2011-02-11T13:42:00.001-06:00

I mentioned yesterday how I fought through and awe-ful sick-ness on Tuesday to attend the Return to Titletown celebration at Lambeau Field. I thought at the time that it was a flu-bug, but additional information has come to light and I now believe I was one of many who were "suffering" through some sort of Super-Bowl Willies. Probably a better word for the phenomenon is 're-calibration.'

I did a little research and of the 13 people we watched the Super-Bowl with, at least 10 have since fallen prey to the strange ill-ness, that very much resembles the flu. How did I arrive at the conclusion that our Super-Bowl victory induced an over-excitement-based queasy-ness?

Well it could not have been food poisoning. We had a strict die-hard Packers fans only policy in place, so no secret Vikings or Bears agents could have spoiled the dip or the wings. Plus, I think under-cooked meatballs would have probably taken down all 13 of us.

All day Tuesday I thought it was the flu. By that point several of our friends had developed the pukesies, and I was feeling really sore and flu-like, so that seemed the most obvious culprit, but since then more have fallen ill and I would think a flu bug would strike on an evener time-line. But then again, I'm no doctor.

My biggest proof for the case of the Super-Bowl Willies is that I never get sick, and neither does Mooney, and we were both sent to bed by some-thing power-ful this week. I looked around for other candidates and there the Super Bowl XLV Victory stood. It was grinning mischievously. Aha!

Notice I have not called this ill-ness wicked, even though it sure felt that way. But the more I think about it the more I think this troubled gut and mind syndrome is a self-induced way for the body to deal with the over-load of excitement generated by a Packers championship. It's like how fish get filled up with mercury over the years, only this was a "good toxin" that built up in our systems during the course of one single earth-year.

In other words: All this success, winning, and triumph in such a short amount of time was dangerous. My theory is that all the wonder-ful-ness of the Championship run had to be released from the body after the mind realized the completion of our unified goal: The Packers 13th NFL Title. This realization happened at different times for all of us. For me, the Super Bowl victory 'hit me' on Tuesday morning as I prepared for our trip to Lambeau. For my buddy Fritz, it was on the ride home on the side of the high-way. For my wife Mooney, it wasn't until Wednesday morning.

Now I know some of yous are thinking: FG, yous were all just zozzled! Yous were bent up from celebrating! Yous were half seas over! Yous were on a toot! Well sure, I had a few PBRs over the last week, but I'm old enough to know when I'm simply hunged-over and I don't go there often. So I'll have to shoot that down as the trigger, even though it may have been a contributing factor in our Packers-related celebrations. So was yelling my head off and I don't blame my sore throat on my troubled guts!

Any-how, did any of yous experience this phenomenon? Now that my body is cleansed and re-calibrated I feel better than ever and even more devoted to the Green and Gold. Hell, I felt so good this morning that I spiked my bottle of pepto bismo and put on my Title Belt, just like #12 suggested we all do on Tuesday. Hell, I encourage all of you, as Rodgers did, to "use the belt in every-day life" for the next year. So long as the Lombardi Trophy is home safe, there are going to be lots of champions all across Packers country.

Defeat sickness: Title Belt.
Catch a pike: Title Belt.
Take out the garbage: Title Belt.
Shovel the walk: Title Belt.
Finish a blog post: Upper-cut, Title Belt!

Until next time, then,
FG (Title Belt!)

Hallowed Ground

2011-02-10T16:12:00.000-06:00

This was one of the few seasons where we didn't make it to a game at Lambeau Field, and part of me was sour about that, but no longer. Mooney and I knew right after the Packers won Super Bowl XLV that we'd be visiting Green Bay's Hallowed Ground for the Return to Titletown event on Tuesday.

Even though I came down with a stomach flu (or maybe I was just in hot wing shock from Sunday), we hit the road and arrived at the stadium a few hours before the event, and then met up with some friends for celebratory cocktails at a nearby establishment. It felt like a game-day, but it also felt like some-thing more. We made our way to Lambeau, through the parking lot, and all around us 'Go Pack Go' chants boomed through the crisp winter air. Despite the sub-zero wind chills, we all knew the stadium would be filled with fans and the warmth of our 13th NFL Championship.

The Lombardi Trophy is a great little furnace.

We had all heard the standard, humble replies about team-work and discipline by this point, but that's beside the point. It was thrilling to share the experience with the team and its fans, to watch Donald Driver's contagious smile on the jumbo-tron, seeing Jason Spitz do a shirt-less belly-slide onto the snow-covered field, seeing the new McCarthy Way road-sign, and listening to Ronnie Rodgers proclaim a goal completed and predicting more success: "Nobody can stop us!"

The crowd did the wave. We shook the bleachers with repeated 'Go Pack Gos' that echoed across the field. We screamed as if we'd never seen the high-lights on the big screen, and we smiled, looking up at the Champions Flag that flew high above, snapping in frigid gusts.

And then the team took its victory lap with Coach Lombardi's Trophy held high and everyone in that stadium burned the memory into their brains. The people of the people's team in the people's stadium. And we all knew there were so many more celebrating with us. Super Bowl XLV was a microcosm of the season and I plan on re-watching the tape every day until the next season begins.

I put my arm around Mooney and held her tight. We are lucky, I thought. It's been a great season. And in some dimension I'm still sitting in Lambeau, soaking it in. I may very well set a record for continuous celebration. I am incapable - and may very well be for the weeks or months ahead - to focus on any-thing else seriously. I thank the Packers organization, the players and coaches, and the fans for sharing this adventure with me.

Until next time, then,
FG

Wooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-07T08:46:00.000-06:00

I have not voice left, dear readers!!! Super Bowl Champions! Will have more game reaction once I am able to pop in the VHS tape. I love you all!!! Photo credit Benny Sieu, jsonline.com
Until next time,
FG

Super Bowl XLV Snow Sculpture

2011-02-06T11:34:00.000-06:00

Super Bowl Sunday is finally here, dear readers!!! First of all, raise your PBRs! CHEERS!

I've been thinking about this snow-sculpture ever since we got dumped on early in the week, so this morning after a few flurries passed through, I went out with the shovel and a large spoon and started carving. I think it turned out pretty good for my first sculpture. Snow wasn't as even and smooth as I would have preferred, but you'll get that when you're working with 'end of drive-way' lump-mix. I've seen several pictures of really good Packers-centric snow sculptures this week, most of them better than mine, but I'm really glad I went for it. Makes me feel like a good neighbor!

With that project in the books it's back to the kitchen, folks. The wings are in the oven. I repeat. The wings are in the oven! I'm not nervous like I thought today. I just feel perfect.

Du-DA-da... Du-da-DA: GO PACK GO!

Enjoy the game, you knuckle-heads,
Until next time,
FG

Super Bowl XLV: The Spinning Spindle

2011-02-05T11:20:00.002-06:00

I love my wife, Mooney. I love my family and my friends. And then a peg down are the Packers and Fishing. That's all the things I really care about. That's the truth, dear readers. If you've read my work over the last few years, you know that's the case. It's all I write about, 'cause I only write about what's important... Most of the time.

Tomorrow is going to be a special day in our lives. Even if you can't be together, in the same room watching the game, we will all be connected, focused, gazing into the game itself with purpose and appreciation. I love this picture of Ronnie Rodgers. I feel like we're looking at the same thing, he and I, and all of you, too.

I'm going ice fishing today so I can stare out at the frozen lake and get some fresh air. I'll just pace around the house if I don't get out of here and do some-thing, so I might as well do one of my favorite things while I pass the time. How many of yous have ice fished before? It's more trapping than fishing, and definitely relaxing.

Other than watching the Packers score a touch-down, there are few things as exciting that watching a flag pop on a tip-up:

From the cozy shell of my shanty I peer out over the spread, me and my buddies, and we each have three traps set in the snow (the legal limit in Wisconsin). Remember the pattern of their dispersion. Trace back and forth with those eyes like an owl. Some days we'll look out and never see a flag. And some days there are flags flying fast and loose! You never know until you get out there. Beneath each trap is a spool of braided line, with a length dropping down into the depths of the lake, connected to a strong leader and a hook and hope-fully a massive shiner or sucker. When I get a real big bait I name it and call out occasionally: Paul! Keep wiggling! You're doing great work! I've often imagined what those bait are thinking down there, in the darkness, suspended over weeds or pebbles or sand. Do the pike growl at them as they approach? I hope the minnow doesn't know what is about to happen.

The Alpha Predator of the lake is my target, dear readers. Right as the moon goes down and the sun nears the trees, the lighting is finally right for an ambush. From the deep edge of the drop-off the 50-inch pike surges and pounds my minnow on the run, and by pulling out line, the spool spins the spindle and releases the flag, which leaps up from the surface of the lake into the wind, alerting us in the shanty that some-thing has taken the bait.

"Tip-up!!!" I scream, bursting out of the shanty like I have explosives in my boots. Some guys do the crab-walk and take their time, hoping the pike will swallow the hook into his guts. That's the meat-hunter way. I may eat a fish, but I also want the option of releasing it, after a photo and a kiss. And I'm too excited any-ways, I've gotta run, fast as I can. The approach to the trap is my favorite part. As you near the flag, flapping in the wind, you must focus on the spindle itself, that small metal 'T-bar' that tells the story. If it's still the pike is probably gone, or maybe the shiner got feisty and tugged the line. But if you see the spinning spindle, dear readers, you know it's time for battle. Some-times the spindle is spinning so fast you can't see it at all, achieving invisibility through helicoptery, and you know the fish is on a full-on sprint.

This is what I see as I approach the trap, and no matter how many times I see that, it'll always make me mildly dizzy with anticipation. My brain is wired to release amazing endorphins whenever I see the spinning spindle - or a touch-down. I know this spot is a premium location, we're in a premium time window, and it's probably a monster of a pike. Sliding to my knees I punch the skim ice out of the hole with my bare knuckles and grab the trap with my left, exposing the spool itself, and in the same motion, my right snares the running line and stops the pike in its tracks. Hello, big feller. I don't believe we've met...

Have you ever caught a huge fish without the fishing pole? Hand to hand combat with a pike is probably the coolest way to encounter a predator in the wild. The first tug will let you know if it's a big one and yes, dear readers, this is a monster. I know right away that this is the kind of fish you only encounter once or twice a winter. This is a rare fish. My heart freezes as we fight, taking line and bringing it in. The next few moments are crucial...

:::

And tomorrow is the Super Bowl. And tomorrow is our chance at a 13th NFL Championship. And tomorrow is a chance to remind this planet that the Green Bay Football Packers are the finest franchise that ever was. Look at those clear eyes, that purpose-ful glimmer. See what this moment is giving you, a chance at some-thing spectacular! You pull in the line hand over hand and here comes the blitz and Jennings is behind the safety. Throw it! Throw it! It's a touch-down! Glory! Glory! Glory! Look at the size of this pike!!!

:::

The Super Bowl and the Spinning Spindle, folks, but how does it really end? Like every-thing, it comes down to blocking and tackling, execution, patience and aggression, applied correctly. I think we'll stop Mendenhall from running effectively, just as I stopped this big pike, because the Steelers offensive line is the weakest link remaining, on either team. And once we take away the run, it'll be open season on Roethlisberger, who doesn't have the weapons that we have.

That's where the game will be won or lost, dear readers. But I'm really looking forward to watching Rodgers work. I think they're gonna throw it all over the dome, and I see big numbers for #12 by the end of the day. Tomorrow is going to be a special day in our lives and even though I pick the Packers in every game, I've watched the tape, and I truly believe this is going to end well for the Green and Gold. I am confident, so let's mark it already: Steelers 17, Packers 33.

Du-DA---DA-duda-da: GO PACK GO!

May your wings be hot and your Super-Bowl party fantastic!
Until next time,
FG

VHS: Reliving the NFC Championship

2011-02-03T21:47:00.001-06:00

Hey folks, this is part two of my Super-Bowl XLV VHS-tape preview (Reliving the AFC Championship is here). As I noted in part one, I have been getting too nervous and dancing too much during the playoff games, and my live 'Freewheelin' notes have suffered, so I am drinking some home-brew and re-watching both Championship games on VHS tape in my trusty Magnavox Hi-Fi VCR.

Alright the tape is rolling so here we go:

First Quarter:
- That's the pretty pass I like to see. What a first play! And a second! Just like that.
- Several sharp play-action passes to start and Jordy gets it to the 2 against single-high. I love this aggressive-ness, and we have to keep the foot on the gas.
- 7-0: I seriously got three feet of air straight outta my rocking-chair when Rodgers put that boot-leg in live. That's a play that will be on Rodgers' high-light reels for all of history.
- They just mentioned that Culter was awe-some against the Sea-Hawks. Kind of how Roethlisberger was awe-some against the no-tackle Jets in the first half? Cutler don't look so awe-some now.
- Starks can take a loss and turn it into a short gain, and that impresses me almost as much as his bigger gains. As McCarthy says, he falls forward. We just need the threat of his power against the Steelers. I'd be surprised if he got 20 carries.

Second Quarter
- I read some-where today, can't remember where, that Cullen Jenkins stands to make a lot of money with a great game on Sunday with his new contract. I see him making a LOT of money. He's playing as well as any-one, dear readers.
- B. Jackson just made Urlacher look foolish on that quick-pass. My feet, they're stuck! In cement! Ahhh yes. Urlacher had a pretty good game, other than that one, but I had to razz 'em.
- Another Jordy pass into the goal-line zone, against single high. They were scared of Starks, and he just got his first touch-down in the NFC Championship game!
- 14-0: Starks is real horsey!
- Rodgers will clearly be the more elusive, faster and more dangerous running quarter-back in the Super-Bowl.
- What a junk pick. That's classic 'lucky bears' garbage. Points there would have been really helpful.
- And Sam Shields gets it back. What a story, this kid. An instant Packers legend based only on this game.

:::Halftime Thoughts::: Should've been up by more than 14, but - and I said this live - I am so happy I'm a Packers fan. Can you imagine the sick feeling those idiot Bears fans were feeling at the half? Getting their butts whupped on their home turf, against us? That's good gravy, folks :::

Third Quarter
- So when was Cutler hurt? Must've slipped on the way into the locker room, he wasn't limping like that after he threw the pick to Shields. Puzzler.
- You really shouldn't cover Jordy with slow line-backers! He is corn-fed and he runs like the prairie wind!
- That was a questionable pass inter-ference against James Jones in the red zone. He should've caught it any-ways, but kind of a bail-out call. Classic Jones not going to the ball.
- And I can't believe Rodgers didn't see Urlacher. He could've sealed the game up there. Huge mistake, but then he made a quality play to trip him up. One of his better plays of the day, no doubt. Damn! I knew it was coming and I still got sour about the play.
- Considering how much I thought the game was over after Todd Collins went three-and-out on his first series, I'm even more amazed this ended up being a game in the end. We really didn't do any-thing after that Urlacher pick, offensively. I believe we'll be up in the second half on Sunday, and I hope to hot-biscuits that McCarthy doesn't play it safe.

Fourth Quarter
- And C. Hanie is now an answer to a future Trivial Pursuit question. You've got to hand it too him, though, he came into an insane situation and didn't blink. Hell, he attacked. Knowing the Bears they'll probably cut him in the off-season.
- 14-7: Chester F'n Taylor. That's such an NFC North move.
- Even while getting hit in the chin by that dirty sonuvabitch Julius Peppers, Rodgers' deep ball looks splendid.
- God's Gifts! Wish you had God's Hands!
- 21-7: Raaaaaajjjjiiiiiiii!!!!!! I love the dance, I don't care what coach says! Put on that belt big fella!
- C. Hanie is now the answer to another Trivial Pursuit quesion: Who threw a pick six to the fattest man to ever score a touch-down in the play-offs?
- I'm the Freeza! I'm the Freeza!
- 21-14: OK, I know it doesn't matter, but Woodsen and Collins both looked like they were 'getting out of the way of the big hit' instead of making the big hit. They thought the game was over, too. I was already celebrating, I'll admit it.
- As this is a 'reliving' I am going to kick off the re-celebration by switching from home-brew to whiskey and cider! Weeee!!!
- Third and twelve, could have hit Kuhn for the first instead of sliding there, but probably smart to take the safe play, #12. Masthay crushed the punt and you've got to trust the defense. Did I mention Devin Hester was invisible today? I almost forgot he was in the game, and that's good gravy, too!
- With this defense, I'll feel confident with any lead. That wasn't the case just a year ago, which is high praise for Dom Capers. That crazy owl is painting a master-piece this season.
- They're driving.. I wasn't worried then and I'm still not worried now. And on cue, the defensive dagger! Sam Shields has stepped up!

VICTORY!!! We're going to the Super-Bowl!!!

Until next time, then,
FG

Again, you can find Reliving the AFC Championship here.

VHS: Reliving the AFC Championship

2011-02-03T21:45:00.003-06:00

Howdy folks, I was gathering my thoughts over the weekend but I'm really picking up steam as we near our re-taking of the Vince Lombardi Trophy! Thanks for stopping by! Dinner's done and tonight's project involves re-watching the AFC and NFC Championship games, with the help of my trusty Magnavox VCR, the VHS tape from last Sunday, and some home-brew that was only labeled as 'G' on the bottle-cap.

I always try to keep some notes during the live broad-cast, but especially during these play-off games, I've not been doing a good job - too gal-damned excited, dear readers! Can't scribble when you're dancing and hootin'! Any-how, the tape's rolling and here's my impressions on the second viewing:

First Quarter
- Roethlisberger is so shady he wears a smoke-tinted visor. What a jerk.
- I'm much more worried about Mendenhall than I was about Forte, and they'll use them in the same ways, especially hitting dump-offs out of the back-field. This is a key challenge for the Packers.
- Ackk, that Pouncey injury was grue-some!
- 7-0: Huge first drive. Don't think you'll see our defense come out sluggish like that, though. I hope we defer.
- Huh... They ran for a good gain out of our inverted wish-bone formation. A draw. Then a screen opposite way. Mendenhall is dangerous, folks.

Second Quarter
- Roethlisberger's deep ball is waaay too tall. The speed in our secondary will eat that up. Not scared, dear readers.
- #34 is getting yards, but I've seen LOTS of missed tackles, too. Jets D was terrible in the first half, which is when the Steelers got most of their production. Let's see him do that against Dom.
- 10-0: Suisham has now only hit 5 of 9 playoff FG attempts. Is that a typo? File that stat away. Miiisssss.
- 17-0: Jets looked asleep on this drive. Easy points.
- 24-0: Sack, terrible over-thrown pass, sack fumble touch-down return. So yeah, they're bringin' a defense to the rodeo, too. They will make plays, and how the offense responds will be important. Looked like Sanchez just lost it - completely flustered. He is melting down. Also, if Sanchez didn't drop the ball back down to his hip winding up to throw, maybe that fumble doesn't happen. Poor form.
- 24-3: FG. Whoo.

:::Halftime Thoughts::: I think the Bears would've been whupping the Jets at this point, too. ::::

Third Quarter
- 24-10: Sanchez gets it together and throws a few completions and Ike Taylor falls down.
- Roughing the kicker! That's the best play Kapinos has ever made! What a jack-wagon.
- Not much of a country fan, but that singing Napa guy commercial is pretty good. Spark plug in the ear! Nice trick!
- Let's be honest, the deep ball of both Roethlisberger and Sanchez is just ugly. After watching Rodgers all season, it hurts the eyes, dear readers.

Fourth Quarter
- Polamalu makes a big hit and that's the first time I've really noticed him tonight. For the DPOY he's been invisible, but maybe they're avoiding him? I don't think so. Nobody's healthy at this time of year, but I don't think he's any-where near 100%.
- Farrior and Woodley are crushing, though. Scary dudes.
- Gotta make that catch, Keller... and they are stuffed at the goal-line. That's the game, folks.
- Credit where due: Brett Keisel's beard is really nice. I applaud, only tonight.
- 24-12: Skeeze-bag Roethlisberger drops the second snap of the half from his new center, and that's a safety. Karma's gonna really getcha, Ben, on the biggest stage! What kind of person treats women like that? What a pathetic dew-dropper.
- 24-19: Too little too late with the pick-play.
- Geesh, this home-brew is getting me a little zozzled.
- First down for Rapelisberger and that's the game.
- I'll tell you what, I'm not scared of this team. I respect Tomlin as a coach, and I respect the franchise, the history, the tradition, but as an opponent on Sunday, we can handle any-thing they've got on that side.

:::

OK, folks, gonna take a quick break and then pop in the NFC Championship tape.
Until next time, then,
FG

UPDATE: I may have been a bit harsh on Polamalu, but I know he'll be a big factor in the game. I really enjoyed Matt Bowen's column on #43 v. #12... really liked the stuff about the 'pre-snap chess-match'.
Read VHS: Reliving the NFC Championship here.

Blood in the water

2011-02-03T16:00:00.000-06:00

I remember being perplexed and amazed by Georges Seurat paintings as a child. Back in those days, pointillism was a radical form of artistic expression - the Packers Blog of the late 1800s, really. You youngsters may be more familiar with Chuck Close's work. It's equally impressive. Makes you wonder about perspective and reality, or at least makes you appreciate it.

The further away we get from the 2009 NFL draft, the better Creepy Ted's work looks, and the closer the Packers get to their record 13th Championship. If the Packers are successful in completing that goal on Sunday, BJ Raji and Clay Matthews III must have great, disruptive games, and I think they will - they are, to use an example from the wild, predators with the advantage. This concept explains why walleyes are more likely to feed at night, when their excellent vision lets them hunt more effectively. The match-up with the Steelers presents a similar advantage to our run and pass defense, which will allow them to attack at will.

I pulled out the VHS tape of the Packers-Steelers game from last year, and although the finish was heart-breaking to watch, the game was also quite informative, even though so much has changed in the past year: On defense, Jarrett Bush is no longer playing nickel and Troy Polamalu is back (although maybe not 100%), and these are both positives for their respective teams. And while Raji and Matthews had fine rookie seasons, I would argue we should expect much more from them both this time around (although Clay registered several sacks in the first meeting). Tramon has also taken giant strides since that game, with a full year of NFL starts now under his belt. And Woodsen is still Woodsen. We are, for the most part, healthy and playing fast. Sure, the Steelers are the #1 rated defense and they are a great unit - they will give us problems - but I have to give the edge to the Packers here.

Part of this is the reasons I gave above - numerous players becoming every-down play-makers - but what really tilts the field in favor of the Green and Gold is the troubles Pittsburgh is having with their offensive line. Every-one wants to compare Dom and Dick abstractly, defense against defense, but I'm not looking at the defenses them-selves, so much as who they are lining up against, dear readers. Since the '09 game the Steelers O-line has taken at least one step back-wards, and even if they get Pouncey back, he'll be less-than-explosive. I'm not taking a thing away from the Steelers defense, but guys like Raji and Matthews should smell blood in the water when they take the field on Sunday. The offensive lines are respective weak-nesses for each team, in reality, but this is the key advantage for the Packers.

I'd go into this more, but the good folks at Football Outsiders make the thorough and impressive case very nicely, concluding that "This game's biggest mismatch is ... Matthews versus those mediocre Pittsburgh tackles in pass protection." And of course, Raji will have an equally-disruptive impact against whoever is playing the interior offensive line.

With the perspective of time it seems Ted Thompson may see fully-formed portraits where others find random dots. Much has been said this week about his visionary decision to stake his reputation to Ronnie Rodgers, and the Packers would never had made the Super-Bowl without #12, but looking at the match-up this Sunday, it may very well be Thompson's twin first-rounders from the '09 draft that make the key difference in bringing the Lombardi Trophy back home, crystal clear and brilliantly beautiful.

Until next time,
FG

Story-time: Candidates and luminosity

2011-02-02T17:52:00.000-06:00

"The Packers-13 planetary system is remarkable," said NASA scientist Jack Lissaue, pointing to a computer screen filled with speckles of light, chopped into a grid. He was pointing to one of those specks of light, nodding his head. His colleague, Dr. Batalha, said the data looked like the end-less stream of bubbles in a glass of champagne. She was right.

Lissaue and Batalha and many others had been working on the Kepler Mission since the spring of 2009. Like many goals of great-ness, it was a long-term commitment, requiring sacrifice and absolute focus. They were looking for candidates, out there, in the deep-ness of infinity. Are there many planets out there? Are there any like earth, racing around a sun like our sun? Are there any in the "habitable zone"?

Dr. Lissaue had asked me to join him at the NASA Ames Research Center on this Wednesday before the Super-Bowl in order to "show me some-thing big" - that's how he put it in his letter. He mentioned that I "simply must arrive" prior to the Super-Bowl.

I was intrigued and I trusted him, so I packed my bags and took the next flight out of Wisconsin.

The Kepler Mission was designed to stare at a specific neighborhood in the Milky Way without blinking for a few years, in order to measure the individual bright-ness of over 100,000 stars. By watching the slightest changes in bright-ness for each sun, researchers were able to detect orbiting planets as they crossed between earth and that sun. This revolutionary brand of exo-planetary science had quickly proven that there were many, many stars with planets in our galaxy, but also, that there were many plants located in that 'just right' zone where liquid water was a possibility. This was excitingg, but I already knew about that. So I knew the Kepler team must have found some-thing stunning when Lissaue sent me that letter late last week.

But what did it have to do with the Super-Bowl?

Lissaue quickly spilled the beans: "This system, Packers-13, it's amazing on so many levels... It’s amazingly compact, it’s amazingly flat, there’s an amazingly large number of big planets orbiting close to the star - we didn’t know such systems could even exist!" He said, still pointing at the computer screen, almost shaking with excitement. Essentially, Lissaue told me that the Kepler Mission had only begun to under-stand the enormous possibilities of planets and solar systems and how they can be arranged and behave. "And all of that is quite extra-ordinary," he continued, "but that's not why I named it the 'Packers-13' system."

"As you know, the Packers are playing for their 13th NFL Championship this Sunday, and I will guarantee you that they win it," he pronounced triumphantly, pounding his fist on the desk, eyes wild. He turned back to his computer screen, to the grid, and began zooming in on the system. It was apparent even before he reached the greatest magnification: The star itself had the Packers' logo burned into it's surface. There was no mathematical explanation for it, but there it was, perfect in its depiction.

"That's ... that's bizarre, Jack," I murmured half stunned, gazing at the image. "What do you thi..."

He cut me off, speaking quickly now, "It's beyond bizarre, but even more-so when you consider the timing of it's discovery. For starters, it has 13 planets, several of them just happen to be excellent candidates, and it's all been growing since the beginning off the year... Growing rapidly, and gaining momentum. It's almost like these planets found us, really. And the more they grow the brighter their luminosity, it's unfathomable. I thought I was going goosey so I had Dr. Batalha confirm the data and it stands up."

He stood up and walked quickly across the laboratory, to another machine. "So that's stranger than infinity," he said, tapping buttons, "but when we asked the earth-based telescopes to confirm the location of these planets, and this remarkable Green Bay star, they also picked up a message, in English, within their astro-seismological returns."

He went over to the printer, where a sheet of paper was now crinkling through, and handed me the sheet of crisp paper. It read: Congratulations, from the time-bending Packers fans of the Kepler Region!

I was speech-less. I was thrilled.

"Oh, and they sent an audio track," said Lissaue, hitting another button.

And in a strange chorus of voices, we heard: "Duu-da-DA-dud-da-da! Go PACK Go!"

After a long time I regained my composure: "Well I guess we better find some tickets, Lissaue!"

"I already got 'em, buddy, now let's hit the road!"

Blizzards and other omens

2011-02-01T21:44:00.000-06:00

The frightened doctors loosed me from my time dungeon in order to help shovel the walk, and I've escaped at last. I went home straight away and set about writing, for Superbowl XLV approaches like the howling winds of this wretched, beautiful storm...

Why is it frigid, and sleeting like an iced-up skull-buster in Wisconsin and Texas all the same, dear readers? You know the answer. Blizzards get blizzards. Sure as the Fox River is sittin' pretty we're gonna bring that Lombardi trophy home. Count on it. The omens are favorable.

Then again, I'm sure it's snowed in Pittsburgh before... but like this? Let's dig deeper.

There's a Lombardi play on Broadway, and a Lombardi documentary on the premium cable. Tell me this isn't the year of the Pack... I dare you. Why did I develop that 'Packer's G'-shaped scar on my biceps? Blizzards get blizzards. When it's right it's right.

We played our greatest rivals in the NFC Championship, on the road, the first time since '41 in the play-offs, and beat 'em square to swell and back to hell. You know this is the time for America's Team, dear readers. Just look at all these injuries, and we fought through it, these massive drifts that tried to pile on us and bury us, and now we're the team that's looking pretty healthy going down to Texas. There's a pep in the step.

And Old-What's-His-Name finally shuffles off, and Donald Driver says, "I've played for two great quarter-backs, but only one took me to the Super Bowl." Maybe the national media will finally turn the page like we all did a long time ago. Want some crazy stats? McCarthy and Thompson's experience now lines up almost perfectly with Holmgren and Wolf's when the team won it all in '97. It's pretty spooky.

Jumping Jack-alope that wind's just going bazookas!

No cheer-leaders, just foot-ball. This is gonna be a treat to beat: Two factory-themed teams with great history, doing it the right way, slugging it out in the rich kid's amuse-ment park with good defense and big play potential. Fast. Punishing. This will be the start of some-thing great for the Green and Gold, you know that's the truth.

Yep, there's a behemoth of a blizzard bearing down on the whole country, and it is good. We Packers fans travel well and we bring the elements with us.

How can I escape all these stories that have already been told? I can't listen to all the mumblin' an' yakkity-yak any-more. Ooh this is such a controversy and lookey-here... Please. Please, already. It's all really simple and we'll get to that. But how are you feeling? I am walking with purpose, or maybe like a giant reptile - who can tell? I feel so good it's scary, Gramps used to say that, and they didn't have the inter-net or NFL foot-ball. I know what he was talking about, though, in my own way and time, and the feeling don't come often. Appreciate this. Give gifts. Smile at strangers. Do some-thing weird if you want. This is Super-Bowl week, for cryin' out loud, and it can't get any better, unless your stuck in an air-port or a pit of snakes.

Say it with me, dear readers: Radiate Packers Enthusiasm!

The wind is doing about 50 miles-per, good-ness grief, I oughtta go grab the shovel and build a big heapin' pile of snow... I feel like sculpting!

Much more to come before Sunday, dear readers, stay tuned,
Until next time,
FG

Packers Psychosis!

2011-01-27T17:29:00.001-06:00

If you look into my eyes, you'll see little Packers logos filling my pupils, dear readers, surrounded by beet-red whites. We beat the god-damned Bears and we're going to the Super-Bowl!!! Wahoo!

I've got the Packers Psychosis!

I'm guessing many of you feel the same way after this long season under the rolling waves. Normally good times are had after a big Packers win - there are stories I'll take to the grave - but I think some of my brains went all hay-wire after Sam Shields sealed the NFC Championship last Sunday. I knew some-thing was different when seasoned fans like my buddy Fritz started fainting out after touch-downs, and once the final was official we all lost touch with reality. I know a few guys who are still swimming around down there in the deeps, lost in a beautiful coral amongst the fishes, admiring the wreckage of steam-ship Jay Wimpy Cutler all covered in barnacles and sediment - she sunk in a terrible storm after her knee-pump failed, so tragic. On Tuesday morning I finally started to realize what had happened... started to realize the magnitude and magnificence of the event, and so I snapped back to reality and surfaced with great speed in order to breath in the sweet air of victory and scream like a dimented loon-bird, flapping his wings, laughing at the moon:

Ayoo Ayoo Ayoo-ooo-oo-ooooo!!!! Encounter with highly abnormal victory! Seven points in difference! Irregular circumstances! I tagged it mentally with a homing dart! Jay Cutler was eaten!

Well, that's when they sent the rescue team after me. "He's got the Packers Pyschosis!" they yelled, grabbing at my harpoon gun and the last of my hot wings. "Get him out of the fucking water!"

I was having a blast, dear readers, but I didn't know I was putting my-self in danger. My love of the Packers had taken a strange twist and I nearly erupted my own brains amidst the bends in this sea of celebratory strange wonders. A shark with Dom Capers face! Ted Thompson jelly-fishes! Ronnie Rodgers beckoning from the gates of Atlantis with - yes, it is! - ice cold PBRs and that winning smile! Good Lord it all seemed so real!

And it was, apparently, at least for me. Thank heavens!

The doctors, they are smart and they say I'll probably never fully recover from my injuries. "F. Gordon," said one doctor, "I'm sorry to tell you, but I must be blunt. Your brains were submerged in that sea of celebration for too long, your blood has all turned green, and..." - he nearly broke into tears - "I'm sorry, F.G., but there's nothing we can do to cure your disorder... You'll suffer from the Packers Pyschosis for the rest of your years on this cruel planet."

I looked at the doctor with my crazy eyes and started to giggle quietly at first, and then much louder. "No you don't understand, you men of science... Check the scanning monitor!" I screamed, my giggles turning to outright hysterics with visions of Texas Stadium alive in my brains. Then I calmed and quieted again: "You don't understand at all, good doctor, only now am I cured!"

Well he didn't like that very much. Send help, dear readers, they've got me locked in a cage of time! Only February 6 and the start of XLV can un-lock this dungeon! I promise not to bite!

Until next time,
with apologies to Steve Zissou,
FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon: XLV

2011-01-24T14:03:00.001-06:00

Photo by Benny Siea, jsonline.com

Here are my initial reactions to the thrilling NFC Championship game:

- Beating the Bears on this stage may be bigger than winning the Super Bowl. This is counter-intuitive, but think about it, folks. I find it hard to believe I'll be more excited and nervous about Super Bowl XLV than I was on Sunday. And I doubt I'll be any happier when we win in North Texas. This is already going down as one of my favorite seasons ever.
- I've had my share of the 'dizzies' or 'starry vision' during Packers games, when I get to cheering and yelling and jumping around, but here's more evidence that Sunday's win was bigger than big: After Rodgers scored the first touch-down on a naked boot-leg, my buddy Fritz nearly fainted and hit the deck. We thought he was having a heart-attack, but as Fritz explained during the commercial break: "I just got too excited!" Enough said. We all felt it.
- Rodgers is tough and Cutler is a pouter. Forget numbers and results, dear readers... Nobody in Chicago would take Culter over Rodgers if given a chance. So what if you've got a boo-boo. Poor body language is not a sign of a good leader.
- Who knows when Cutler got injured, but that shot Rodgers took from Peppers was border-line dirty and it clearly messed up his accuracy the rest of the way. Some-thing got knocked loose on his guidance system, which is likely located in the chin.
- I really dis-like Urlacher, but he played a helluva game on Sunday. You've gotta give him credit, along with that defense, for keeping the game 'close enough'.
- But, play of the game was not Urlacher's interception... it was Rodgers' barely-tackle to stop the pick-six. Kept the point swing to 3 or 7, instead of 14.
- Ike made some tasty curry chicken salad for the game, but I think I'll toot my own horn: The hot wings were play-off caliber, and my finest batch to date.
- Offense had the hot start, and special teams did more than their share just as in week 17, but Dom Capers and the defense put us over the top. Another score and two other huge picks for unlikely hero Sam Shields made up for a couple of ugly touch-downs in the fourth.
- Woooooooooooooooo!!!
- Super-bowl here we come!
- Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Until next time, then,
FG

One-hundred and eighty-two

2011-01-21T19:11:00.001-06:00

I guarantee we'll all remember one-hundred and eighty-two, in this series of great-ness, history, animosity and respect, tooth and nail, blood, guts, power, inches and infinity, nervous-ness, glory, triumph, heart... and respect for the right way to do things.

This is the Packers and Bears.

And it's the biggest game in the series so far, no doubt. We are all very lucky to live for this game, this glorious Hum-dinger! As fans, rivals, competitors in the stands, bringing the stands to life, expanding the stands to a global audience in high definition, talking with each other and sharing the experience like never before, instantaneously. This, dear readers... THIS is some-thing special. You might want to just gear-up on Friday night, mic your-self, glue a video recorder to your dome and hit the red button. Your kids, your future ancestors from the year two-thousand-182 will thank you for the living history of this weekend, and this game.

It is an apogee!

For those of us living today that can call our-selves true Green Bay Packers die-hard fanatics, the importance of this game cannot be over-stated. It cannot even be described with human words but I know all of you who are reading this understand me when I say that - you know it is the truth like gravity holds us to this earth.

I want to tell you readers, my fellow Packers fans, you are my family, and together we shall carry this importance into our meta-physical support as we dance and move molecules and cringe and squeal on Sunday. I am with you and I feel you riding this bizarre path with me on the rocking-chair - it's a wild creature! - edge of the seat, hanging on the next play, the next yard, the next explosion.

My brothers, my sisters, THIS is a great week-end to be a Packers fan, so let it all imprint upon your being and enjoy it, because we have the team that fans become fans for... And we're going to the Super-Bowl while our rivals dissolve before us!

Raise up your PBR's with me or whatever spice you choose, dear readers, and mark it with confidence:
Packers 30, Bears 10.
VICTORY!!!

Until next time, then,
FG

Twenty-two players

2011-01-19T10:53:00.001-06:00

In yesterday's post, I gave Coach Mike McCarthy the credit he deserves as a play-caller and head coach. With his second trip to the NFC Championship this weekend, McCarthy has hit his stride, proving that his philosophy and system are a winner. It certainly helps when you are calling plays for a quarter-back like Ronnie Rodgers, as #12 is playing lights-out down the stretch. The two are sharing one brain that is seeing the defense a few seconds in the future, it seems, and how can you defend that chemistry? I re-watched the Divisional win last night, without the anticipation or mystery, and I was still getting the goosey-bumps watching Rodgers throw. That's some of the finest quarter-back play I've seen in my 180 years on this earth, dear readers, and that brings me to today's point:

McCarthy may have his team playing well, and his play-calling may have embarrassed the top-seeded Falcons last weekend, but when you play a familiar foe for the third time in a season, the out-come will be decided by the twenty-two players on the field.

As former Packers player Matt Bowen wrote this week about the high-stakes rivalry:

"It becomes less of a coaching battle. This game won't be Lovie Smith versus Mike McCarthy or Mike Martz versus Dom Capers. Instead, it comes down to the execution of the players. Jay Cutler, Brian Urlacher, Julius Peppers and Lance Briggs versus the big names for the Packers: Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings, Clay Matthews, Tramon Williams, etc."

What's really true here is that every-one has waaay too much time on their hands, and that leads to over-thinking the situation. We want to talk about every moving part and possibility. In reality, Bowen is smart to think of this game in simple terms: Players making plays. Let's not get confused by formations and blitzing schemes, folks. The Packers and Bears know each other far better than any of us fanatics can ever imagine. There won't be many surprises on that field. And when Rodgers lines up and looks at Urlacher on first-and-ten, it will be the continuation of a long and storied rivalry, and they will battle their own shadows on a Sunday after-noon.

Take away all the distractions and ask your-self: Which player is seeing the field better? Which team is playing a few seconds in the future on the majority of snaps? Who will make the big mistake, who will make the big play?

Sure as the wind blows in Soldier Field, you know that answer, Packer fans. (And if any Bears fans are reading this, so do you, and I'm sure it makes you sick). So let's flip that coin and watch it unfold.

Until next time, then,
FG

He's seeing the play-sheet well

2011-01-18T19:26:00.000-06:00

Much, much has been made about Rodgers' recent hot-streak, where, over the course of four must-win games the Packers' quarter-back has played excellent - neh, exceptional - football. And much should be made. Rodgers has given Packers fans world-wide some-thing special over the last month. That game against Atlanta - it's a rare treat, and I hope my younger readers come to appreciate it. Sure, you may be grinning at stop-lights and even at work now, fresh off the Big Win, but appreciation for a master-piece like that should become more acute with time. It's the kind of game you'll take to the grave.

Facing our greatest rival in the NFC Championship game a week later makes it even more difficult to fathom the superb good fortune we Packers fans now find our-selves immersed in. We go from one of the greatest games and passing performances in a generation to the most-anticipated Bears match-up in generations, and all of that could lead to another Super-Bowl trip for the Green and Gold, which is, after-all, the only game that really matters.

Now that's a Hum-dinger, dear readers! Trying to even wrap one's mind around these realities... these possibilities... well, it's like trying to explain hot-routes to a piece of buttered toast. It's too big for one week's worth of human thought and enjoy-ment. I recommend putting off sleep until mid-February, folks.

We've got a great defense, but look around. Every-one standing has a top-notch defense. That's the entry fee this year. The reason the public perceives us as the favorite, and the reason the sports-books have us listed as the favorite, is because of Ronnie Rodgers, and particularly, because of the way he dissected the top-seeded Falcons on the road. And that's fine. Rodgers deserves the praise coming his way this week. He is seeing the field with crystal-clear, high-definition focus, but I would like to talk about the man on the side-line today: Coach Mike McCarthy is also seeing the play-sheet well, and his leader-ship that has taken the Packers to a second NFC title match in five years should also be commended.

I really enjoyed what I heard coming out of the coach's press conference on Monday after-noon. There appeared to be more truth coming through the mis-directional coach-speak than usual. McCarthy, too, feels the magnitude of this week in Packers' history, I'm certain.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"I really don't think it's a big deal, frankly. Both teams are going to play on the field."

Exactly. This is not an issue, folks. If the Bears want to play on hay, let 'em.

"I really see no benefit to go back and talk about the pain of '07. '07 is a different year. It's a different team, there's different coaches, playing a different opponent, and we're playing in a different location. So I'm sure everybody that went through the experience in '07 has a personal memory of what they thought maybe they could do differently or how they can learn from that experience. I'll be a better coach this time, the second time around, and the players that went through that game I fully anticipate them to be better players. It's like anything in life, when you have the opportunity to learn from experiences"

As I wrote back in May, anticipating the new season, "Comparisons sure are easy, but they're rarely worth much when time gets in the middle, dear readers." You've got to keep up with the times, not get stuck within them. And besides, who wants to think about that god-awful game any-ways? I've already expunged it from memory.

"It's really a privilege and honor now to be part of this great history with the playoff game against the Bears. I know it's only the second time it's happened, the 182nd meeting of both teams. Personally I'm honored to be a part of this and to be going down to Soldier Field to play for the Halas trophy and for the opportunity to play for the Lombardi trophy. It speaks volumes. It's great for both organizations, great for our fans. It's going to be a fun game to play in."

He gets it. More:

"We don't like their team and they don't like our team. I get all that. But I respect the way they play. They play the right way. We play the right way. But this is about winning championships, and we're going down there to play for the NFC Championship Game"

And more:

"You know how they're going to play, they know how we're going to play, and I think that's the way you like to play. Roll the ball out there and let's go get it. I think it's going to be a heck of a game to watch."

What can I say? I love hearing our coach speaking the truth, speaking from the heart. It honors the tradition represented in this Championship, and it only gets me more excited for the game. Or as they may call it, when explaining this rivalry to future generations of fans: The Game. May your nerves and antsy-ness remain at reasonable levels this week, dear readers! Check back often for more play-off week bonus coverage...

Until next time, then,
FG

Washburn County Gem-stone

2011-01-17T22:26:00.000-06:00

Are you superstitious? Have you heard about not washing your jersey during the season? What about trimming your beard during the play-offs? Humans sure are crazy...

I enjoyed the Divisional Round play-off victory against Atlanta in the same place I enjoyed our last Divisional Round victory, against Seattle: On the shores of a Washburn County gem-stone lake. For yous unfamiliar with this county, it's a sandy-soiled, jack-piney, empty, wild tract up near Spooner in the northern-west. Long-drive from just about any-wheres. And when you get there, just whip your pick-it-up truck right onto the frozen lake if you want, spin around in big arcing loops - it sets the pike to eating. Makes for great video footage, too. Turn up that A.M. radio!

Any-ways, it was Highway 53 revisited, for this humble columnist, for the week-end, so Freewheelin' had to wait and you'll have to pardon me for being a bad, bad blogger and not updating any-thing until to-night. They've heard of the internet up there, but the ol' A-frame is lucky enough to get an NFL play-off game. And that's what's important, especially when one of the best games in Packers history is on tap, along with some terribly heavy beers that would make PBR cry.

And of course I made hot-wings, as I do for all big games, and most of the other ones... Which brings me to a dilemma: Am I superstitious? My lucky #85 jersey that I've worn for every game of the season, that helped me to a fantasy foot-ball championship with Greg Jennings him-self on my team, is just smothered in hot-wing sauce. Apparently those dangerous beers got the best of me and I had my-self an accident some-time near the second Kuhn touch-down. Couldn't be helped.

Do I wash the jersey on the cusp of the biggest Packers-Bears game in generations? What does it say about me that I'm even asking? Lots to think about during a very big week of preparation...

Here's one more: Your Green Bay Packers are the current odds-on favorites to win the Super-bowl, out of the final four. That's some pure science setting those lines. Good data sees through the lucky baloney. Money gets money, and we're favorites on the road in the NFC Championship! There were times during the season where I believed this scenario was highly unlikely, but life has ways of surprising you, even in old age. As I looked out over that Washburn County Gem-stone, waiting for my truck to warm up for the long drive home, Sunday morning, I enjoyed that reality.

I put the truck in gear and eased back onto pave-ment.

Until next time, then,
FG

FG's Divisional Round Prediction

2011-01-13T12:36:00.001-06:00

The nerves of Wild-card weekend are gone, and confidence over-flows in Packer-land! On Saturday, we face the top-seeded Atlanta Falcons, who beat us by a field goal in Week 12. As I inferred during yesterday's dramatic story-time post from the Dixie Highway, a key to reversing that previous close loss on Saturday will be containing and frustrating Falcon's behemoth-back Michael Turner, who ran all over us and ate up clock like a horse in an apple orchard. I happen to think the run defense, which has been stellar over the past month, will be up for that challenge, and now we've got our own horse-like back in James Starks to balance the match-up a bit.

Without the threat of a running game, the Packers nearly beat the Falcons any-ways, and even if Starks doesn't drop a hundred yards on them, the home team will certainly be worried enough about the big rookie after watching the wild-card game tape. And that's all we'll need, I think, to really shred their defense and open up a gap.

That threat of a run game, after-all, will only help our friend Ronnie Rodgers (pictured above hypnotizing the pig-skin like he will the Atlanta defense). When they knew he'd throw it almost every down, he still was a fluke goal-line fumble away from beating them... Imagine the passing lanes that will open up if McCarthy feeds Starks plenty of 'oats' in the first quarter. Hoo-baby!

This balanced attack has me pretty confident, dear readers, but maybe it's extrasensory perception letting me know the nails will not need biting, Saturday night... A recent academic paper from a well-respected psychologist suggests that memory may work both ways, just as the White Queen from Alice in Wonderland claims.

"Ordinary people can be altered by experiences they haven't had yet," writes Robert Krulwich on his NPR 'Sciencey Blog'. "Time ... is leaking. The Future has slipped, unannounced, into the Present."

Krulwich explains the research and data that essentially prove this statement, and I recommend you all read his full blog post. As an added treat, the experiments that prove subjects have a better-than-random chance of 'remembering' the future used pornographic images as the carrot to achieve those remarkable results!

Here's the point: The match-up looks good on paper for us, momentum is on our side, and I'm way too calm about a Divisional Play-off game, only two days away, so I must already know it won't be close, thanks to satisfying reverse memories, which leads me to this bold prediction:

Mark it, folks: Packers 31, Falcons 14.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the show! Until next time, then,
FG

Story-time: Dixie Highway

2011-01-12T22:25:00.001-06:00

The auto-motorist rambled down the old clay road, heading south. The Dixie Highway is some strange-ness, he thought, tuggin' at his shirt collar that seemed to tighten around his stout neck with every bump in the road-way. He began to sweat, watching the Spanish Moss reaching for him, chasing him. He accelerated and the bumps became nastier, jarring him to and fro', his guts began to ache. What in the be-devil was in that gravy this morning? The highway came 'round a big sweeping bend and the sun fell on the auto-motorist for the first time that morning. The humidity instantly leapt up from the green grasses. There was no wind today, suffocating the man like a sloth, the Spanish Moss reached in closer on the highway, and the sun broke into rays through the vines and the air thick as gravy. Crickets! he cursed aloud, un-buttoning his collar. The Dixie Highway is some strange-ness, it is.

The rambling driver pulled his motor-car to the side of the road-way, into the shade of a large tree, and exiting the vehicle, stumbled down the embank-ment. He lay there for a moment, in the wet grass, on the verge of over-heating, and calmed his breathing. He remembered what the boss had told him: Deliver the package, Michael. The driver pulled himself back up to his motor-car and opened the trunk. Inside there was an ice-box filled with cold ginger-ale. Michael took a slow sip from his pocket-flask and cracked open a soda-pop, downing half the bottle in one drink. He sat on the car's back bumper and took a deep breath, but just as he was about to exhale, he heard some-thing running across the road-way behind him. He froze momentarily, then spun and saw some-thing big dart behind the trunk of the massive shade tree and into the under-brush beyond. The heat returned to Michael's face. Crickets! he cursed in a whisper, shutting the car-trunk. Ginger-ale in hand he looked towards the road ahead, where what-ever had ran across the road had ran, and then took a step towards the driver's door. As he took his second step, he heard the beast coming for him.

Desmond Bishop exploded from the Georgia thicket and closed the distance to his prey in a split second, running his shoulder through Michael Turner's hips and driving his to the rough clay high-way, dust flying and birds cackled wildly in the trees. Desmond stood up and smiled. The empty bottle of ginger ale sat glimmering in the sun, inches from Michael's out-stretched hand.

How did you find me? asked Michael as he sat up, clutching his side.

Desmond's smile grew wider. Now why would I go and spoil the surprise, Big Fella? This ain't the end of the story!

He hit the trunk of the motor-car with his fist, popping it open, and grabbed a fresh ginger ale, watching Michael as he crawled to his feet. Michael slowly walked back to the car and then reached into his back pocket, pulling out an envelope. He handed it to Desmond.

I believe this is your's now.

Desmond took another sip of cool ginger ale and opened the envelope, removing the card from within. And opening it, he saw written - in his own hand-writing - these words: NFC Championship Game. He smiled again and - as quickly as he had appeared - disappeared back into the trees along the Dixie Highway.

-The End-

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon: Wildcard victory

2011-01-10T17:23:00.000-06:00

Here are my truncated game notes from Sunday night:

- Can't afford an early mistake, and there you go, special teams. Inexcusable to touch that football, Underwood, even if you were blocked into it. Luckily it didn't cost us points.
- Touch-down Crabtree and the nerves are relaxed a bit. Whews.
- Don't like this anti-blitzing coverage, but if it keeps Vick in the pocket, I'm fine with it.
- Classic. James. Jones. Gets a touch-down and then drops another one that would have put the game away before the half... Rodger's reaction was tame compared to mine.
- This weekend's hot-wings are damned good. The Packers record when I make this recipe is immaculate. That's a win-win. Other menu items include "Grandma's Chicken Noodle Soup" hot-wing dip, spicy scallops n pasta and PBR.
- After a terrible fumble deep in our territory, Vick strikes quickly to make it a game again... Damn. Between that fumble, the botched punt 'return' and the dropped touch-down, we're really lettin' them hang around, and I don't like it.
- But why worry? Rodgers caps one of the best 'answer drives' of his career with a screen to Jackson. Lead back to double-digits. Seeing stars... Breath... Breath... OK.
- Desmond Bishop's touch-down saving, shoe-string tackle of Jackson on the final drive might be the play of the year. Clearly the play of the game.
- And that's a great play by Williams to seal it. The defense just keeps rolling.
- Back to the Divisional Round, back to Atlanta.
- Woooooo!
- Glad I won't need to hear about Rodgers never winning a play-off game any-more.
- You know who hasn't won a play-off game yet? Matt Ryan.
- We may beat four different bird species on our way to a Super-bowl victory, but so what? Enough with the 'eating bird' jokes. That's just anti-clever.
- Caught one medium pike on Sunday morning, which was a great omen, but my buddy also lost a monster at the hole, which we dubbed 'CM-P' (Clay Matthews Pike). It was insanely ferocious and it probably has a flowing mane of broken leaders.

That's all I got, folks. Check back all week for special play-off coverage,
FG

Gliding along, play-off calm

2011-01-07T14:59:00.000-06:00

So raise your hand if you're nervous about Sunday (removes hand from type-writer, raises it). You honest folks can put your hands down. You wouldn't be a true fan if you weren't nervous, but that doesn't mean you can't be confident at the same time. I am optimistic as always, but Sunday afternoon can't get here soon enough, dear readers. By January, we all have so much invested in this particular squad that the prospect of it all ending in a few days is nerve-wracking to say the least... but there is always an inverse, a mirror-world, and that investment also means I am wildly excited for Sunday. It's natural. Go with it. I think we've got more reason for optimism than fear. Love Smith isn't the only one afraid of the Packers as the play-offs start this weekend. Remember, folks, they're just as nervous and excited as we are.

I can't just sit around twiddlin' my thumbs all week, so I cleaned out the base-ment yesterday, and I found my ice skates. Me and my buddy J strolled over to the ice rink in the park down the way last night to shoot the puck around. I haven't laced them up in the last decade, but skating is like riding a bike or watching the Packers win: It's natural. After about five minutes my legs and the bottoms of my poor feet were burning like a boiling vat of cheese, so I just glided around the edges to catch my breath. After a few minutes I was able to settle in and really skate. This adventure on the frozen lagoon reminded me how much fun skating is, and it took my mind off of Sunday for a few hours, but on the way home it also reminded me of the challenge the Green and Gold will face in Philadelphia.

You can bet your bottom dollar the Packers and the Eagles will both feel the nerves and excited-ness that I referenced above, and in a game of two talented teams, the team that gets through the difficult opening drives in the best shape will have a decided advantage. In the NFL play-offs, you don't have the luxury of gliding along until your feet loosen up, and a fast (or slow) start could be the difference-maker. We all saw how a slow start knocked us out of the tournament last season...

The Packers are clearly the 'hotter' team, and probably the better team, so maybe they don't need a hot start so much as they need to avoid a major mistake in the early going, but the Eagles need a hot start to have a good chance, dear readers. Aside from the start, the obvious key to victory is blowing up their offensive line, through the energized defensive front and slot blitzing. This will limit their deep passing attack, but it will also serve to contain Vick. I'm far more worried about the Eagles running game - both from Vick and the under-rated youngster McCoy - than I am about that passing attack. We can't let them beat us up with the run, and having Cullen Jenkins back to work alongside Raji and Pickett will certainly help that cause. I don't think Vick can beat our secondary with his arm. In week one he ran them back into the game, but Dom wasn't planning for Vick that time around.

On the flip side, the Eagles defense is a shell of it's week-one-self, and that is the unit that should really be worried. This isn't the Bears defense, folks, and Rodgers and Company shouldn't have any problems matching their week one production. Unless they shoot them-selves in the foot (which might hurt as much as 'skate foot').

The possibility of disappointment worries me but the tape and stats help alleviate those worries, allowing me to enjoy the excitement of play-off foot-ball more and more. So I'm gliding along, play-off calm, and thinking positively as the week-end approaches. And you should too, dear readers! This is what we've been waiting for since last January. Wear your Green and Gold with pride, savor the moment and mark it, folks: Packers 33 - Eagles 13.

Until next time, then,
FG

The first Super-Bowl and the last

2011-01-05T16:15:00.000-06:00

No matter what happens, we Packer Backers can always smile, knowing we've been blessed with so many Championships, including the first two Super-Bowls, and a third in '97. I always believe and hope that we'll win the next Super-Bowl, but I know how difficult a task that is, and I try to remain realistic. But this year, dear readers... this year's Super-Bowl may be the last, and it only seems right that the Packers win the first Super-Bowl and the last.

Last Super-Bowl? you scoff, But what-ever are you talking about?

I am deadly serious, dear readers. Deadly. This is no brow-beatin', nor sabre-rattlin', nor minacity of revelations. But, be honest, the signs of the end times are all around us! I asked my good neighbor Mrs. H, who is well over 100 years, what do you make of it all? And she rubbed her hands together and said, How the hell should I know, Mr. Union? But my, the Packers sure look grand! With that she went on her way to play bingo.

I'll quit teasing yous. Large quantities of black-birds are falling dead from the skies. This news is scaring people all over the south-lands, from Louisiana to Arkansas, where they also have piles of dead sheepshead floating ashore (fun fact: Sheepshead are also known as Drum, Silverbass and Thunder-pumpers - they are one of many species that, inexplicably, eats pebbles). Many theories have been put forth to describe these great extinguishers of life: Some say it is unusual winter-time hail, or secret military weapons testing, or chemicals, or a team hosting a play-off game with a losing record... Maybe the aliens dis-like black-birds, and I can't blame them. More than once I've had a rascallious black-bird nest in the yard, and then peck at my poor melon any-time I went out to water the tomatoes. Shoo! Shoo! But that didn't work so I got out my varmint-killer and restored order to the yard. I'm off topic here now, but I don't care. Every-one has dealt with pesky birds and recalling the story amuses me. An'so I share.

But what of these mass critter slaughters that have been dubbed 'The Aflockalypse"? 100,000 Thunder-pumpers, 5,000 birds in Arkansas, another 500 or more in Louisiana. What kind of god-awful sick-ness or brutality could cause such harm to the flock? And during the NFL play-offs no less? Further-more, what is the lesson for us wit-nesses?

Of course we have no good answers to this or most of life's mysteries. The reasonable answer is coincidence, but the exciting answer is Rapture. The internet is no place for reasonable-ness, folks! So let's assume the Mayans were right and that these dead critters are just another sign of impending doom in 2012, and let's assume the NFL doesn't play in 2011-12... Conclusion: This season's Super-Bowl will be the last one played, and that means the Packers must win it!

Well, that's one way to look at it, I guess. As my regular readers know, physics also teaches us that the Packers win the Super-Bowl every year regardless how many birds die! The same principal also guarantees, however, there is an earth where the Packers never win a game, let alone the Super-Bowl, which is a shame, and who wants to think like such a bucket of dirty bath-water any-ways? There is also a universe where bird deaths are considered good luck, where eagle steaks are on every grill, where the Mayans still rule, where the internet is used for good. Infinity is a great thing, dear readers, but it may also melt your mind! Be care-ful!

In conclusion, this blog post was brought to you by an ever-expanding, unlimited universe, and a few PBR's drank by the wood-stove, and I had fun writing it. Back to more serious Packers ideas tomorrow! Until next time,
Shoo! Shoo! Ye Demon Birds!
FG

The Kaboom Factor

2011-01-03T17:27:00.000-06:00

Who the hell is Erik Walden? By Sunday night I knew nothing more about his back-ground, or how he came to the practice squad, just that he got an opportunity and made the most of it in one of the biggest games of the Mike McCarthy era.

Erik Walden now possesses the elusive Kaboom Factor. What else do you really need to know, folks?

Let's explore this concept a bit more: The Kaboom Factor is some-thing few players in the NFL ever achieve, and even then it's most likely fleeting. In many ways it seems a state of mind, more than physical in nature. It's like the planets aligning, imparting strange properties on gravity. The Packers are already blessed with two defenders - Chuck Woodsen and CM3 - who routinely display Kaboomery, but even they - great players as they are - are not immune from losing the Kaboom. For the last two years the defense has been looking for some-one to bring the Kaboom to the enemy QB opposite Clay, and on Sunday they had that complimentary line-backing weapon. And they had Woodsen bringing the Kaboom from the slot. And they had BJ Raji mixing in some occasional Kaboom from the interior. The result: Three points allowed and dominance overwhelming.

Walden's un-expected ascension to The Kaboom Factor will only help the rest of the defense while he remains on this strange and powerful plateau. As evidence, I offer AJ Hawk's play on Sunday. He managed to play well and even tackle opposing players by him-self without being dragged five yards first! Walden's fury caused - or rather, brought out - another gear in Hawk's game. The Kaboom Factor is definitely contagious, often infecting a defense like a seasonal flu. Often at the same times when flues are most likely to strike, too.

The last time we saw a lesser-known player suddenly achieve The Kaboom Factor, in my humble opinion, was when Atari Bigby 'arrived' in the latter stages of the 2007 season. Watching Walden be every-where on the field, Sunday, I was reminded of how Bigby achieved the Kaboom-state in 2007, and how his insane hits from the secondary helped propel the Packers to over-time in the NFC championship, before falling to a team that was also Kabooming quite nicely at the time. If you go back through time there are many examples of players achieving Kaboomery, but the patterns and circumstances that lead to such performances remain a mystery. Best, I think, to just acknowledge and appreciate the phenomenon.

How long can Walden keep it up? We'll have to wait and see, but usually a player in possession of The Kaboom Factor will remain infected with the fury so long as the season persists. Great players - and I'm not nearly ready to put Walden in that category - are the ones who can re-harness the Kaboom with regular consistency, season after season. While Walden may end up losing the Kaboom like Bigby before him, unable to revisit that apogee, we at least know he is able to reach that level when healthy and hungry, and I look forward to watching him work through the upcoming post-season.

:::

One item I inexplicable left off yesterday's Freewheelin' Notes: Charles Woodsen, on his flying sack of Jay Cutler yesterday, showed the form and technique of a dimented flying squirrel, and I loved it.

As it is play-off season I hope you readers won't mind if I strike the keys more regularly than normal. Expect more blog posts as the week progresses, on things like Kaboom theory and other fun items from the Union mind. Until next time, then,
FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon: Defense takes us back to Philly

2011-01-02T21:34:00.000-06:00

Two seasons in a row we're in the play-offs as a wild-card. Huzzah! Just as I predicted, Lovie played his starters and tried to knock us out ... but he failed. Going to enjoy this win tonight, here's my truncated game notes:

- Happy New Year, dear readers! Let's turn it up early for the first Packers game of 2011!
- The spread is heavily Mexicali today: Tacos, spicy chicken sammies and enchiladas with actual black bear meat! Si!
- Punt, punt, punt-a-roo! This has the physical feel of a play-off game. And it is. Go Pack Go!
- Too nervous to even take notes during the first half, which ends Bears up 3-0. The defense looks great, the offense starting slow and dropping just enough passes to avoid scoring.

- If Lovie is gonna keep the Rabid Poodle in there I'm glad Capers is going to bring the pressure to rough him up. This Walden guy looks fast. He's everywhere. Even Hawk is making plays.
- Capers looks especially menacing in this week's 'booth shot'... Giving me the willies.
- 1st and goal from the 1-foot-line... and it's a field goal. Unacceptable.
- Jennings with another huge catch, but he still can't get in! Killing me! And... Donald Lee finally punches the touch-down ticket! 10-3!!! The way the defense is playing I like our chances.
- The defense is taking us back to Philly today, but the special teams has been better than the Bears, and you can't say that too often.
- Play-offs. Yessir!

That's all I got good-night,
FG

They are who we thought they were

2010-12-30T11:40:00.000-06:00

This pebble-eater is in for a rude awakening in the new year.

I'll be the first to admit I under-estimated our rivals to the south this season, but to quote true Packers fans every-where: "The bears still suck." They might have a first-round bye locked up, and I expect them to put up a strong fight on Sunday, but they're not a great team. They might be better than I thought, but they are who we thought they were. The bears have no chance at winning it all this year.

But we do. And we're not letting them off the hook.

I hope Lovie keeps his focus on us instead of the big prize, and I hope he plays the Rabid Poodle and the rest of his starters the entire game. If he does, we'll expose them for the lucky frauds they are, and they'll be one-and-done in the divisional round. Being lucky is great - you get to play half your games against third-string QBs, you get baloney wins after touch-downs are ruled incomplete thanks to a technicality - but luck doesn't last, dear readers, because luck isn't real. You throw off your back-foot enough times and eventually you'll get picked off. You can't walk between the rain-drops for 16 games and expect to stay dry in the play-offs. The Bears are walking into a monsoon this Sunday, and they forgot their ponchos.

Obviously, I am optimistic as always and bordering on over-confident, but there is no nervous-ness in my thoughts. Two weeks in a row the Packers have played stellar football, and I would argue we're coming off our best game of the year, at the perfect time of year. Sunday will be a great day. I'll start it out by doing a few hours of ice fishing with some fine meats in the home crock-pot, then we'll watch the Packers lock down the 6-seed and a trip to Philly, and I'll top it off by accepting our fantasy football league's Championship Trophy. That, dear readers, it a good start to the year.

And it's as it should be. I expect to finish off 2010 in style, and that will carry forward. What are yous doing for New Years Eve? Me and Mooney are going out dancing. We'll be doing all the fancy moves, like the 'bus stop' and the 'Charleston'... and I'm sure we'll get around to a polka or two. May you and yours dance your way into the new year with a smile on your face, and may that smile grow bigger as new years day turns to Sunday, when we knock the bears down a few pegs.

Mark it, folks: Chicago 10 - Green Bay 100. Yeah I said it - 100! Ok, time for my medicine!
Cock-a-doodle-doooo! Until next year, FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon: Best win of the year

2010-12-26T19:04:00.000-06:00

What a great win, dear readers! That was the best win of the year ... so far, at least. Here are my game notes:

-Playoff football, folks. Let's get a fast start today.
-That commercial showing fan video reactions to the Saints INT return in last year's playoffs is great. Shows the passion fans have for the game.
-TD Jordy... He's got speed ... in open space. There's your fast start.
-TD James Jones. I've got a love/hate relationship with Jordy and James...
-Great catch by Driver, one-handed, going to the ground.
-And there is is... piss poor fumble by Jordy...
-Two big pass plays for each side now... bad blown coverages by both.
-Good response drive! Kuhn TD puts us back up 7. D needs to hold or get a TO here before the half.
-Based on early games and this first half, this just isn't a week for defense. It's a week for offense instead.
-Ah... You gotta catch that INT Collins!!!
- Hot wings featuring Cookies brand hot sauce... Just put final layer of sauce on, will be ready for second half. Lookin' good.
-Good stop .... 30 seconds left and two timeouts left. Push it, McCarthy... PUSH IT!!! Um... Draw play? I am NOT content... But I cheer!

:::Half 21-14:::

-3rd and 2... an early 'big play' here... Bradshaw has his fumble-itus flare up. Bigby with the recovery! Second big takeaway. Heck yeahs.Woodsen is so good with his hands. So quick. The dude makes plays, folks.
-Ack Yordy... right in your hands. Catch it!
-FG for Crosby... Good! Whew. Back up to +10. Turnovers turnedintopoints.
-Nobody points at things with a burger in their hand. That is one a-hole of a father. Meat taunting. Guilty.
-Alright good stop but I really can't stand watching that little rascal kick FGs in Lambeau... Yuck.
-WOW back to back huge catches by Driver and Jennings. Not that's some good receiver-ship.
-And a huge TD from Rodgers to Lee... Great elusiveness by Rodgers. Sharp. +14 again. Ka-boom.
-Hula Raji! Send him to Hawaii!
-Wow CM3 really lit up... CJ Wilson on that third down... And then CM3 with a huge punch-fumble...
It stays in and we got it! Collins with a huge recovery... Bishop swats it back in like a cat! Wow!
Third takeaway! Huge play by several players within seconds. Mind melter. Play of the game. Maybe year.
-Coughlin ain't gonna win that challenge... What a dumb a-hole. Wasting our time.
-The wifey is going crazy with all these Clay slow-mo replays! Ha-cha-cha.
- TV guy: QB's prefer the 'older, broken in balls.' (Hehehehe that's funny)
-James Jones with another bone-headed drop...
-Turdface throws another pick! Sam Shields makes a play. This one is in the books, I think. Let's put a little frosting on the cake, eh? Love that Coughlin can't challenge that ... penalty for stupidity earlier, Tom.
-Receiving TD for Kuuuuuuuhhhhhnnnnn!!!
-I guarantee this is fantastic.
-Next week, Chicago stands in our way to the playoffs... I like our chances.
-Collins with another INT. What a game!
-If Rodgers plays like this every time he wears the new helmet I guess it's not a big deal. Like the sparkles!
-And thanks in part to Greg Jenning's buck-forty in receiving yardage, I won my second fantasy football championship today! What a great day to be alive!!! The prize money and fine whisky trophy are coming back to the Union Mantle!
-Kuhn is a crowd-pleaser, and McCarthy keeps feeding it to #30. Wish I'd of gone to this game! Kind of game that could start a playoff run. En'so it's time for another PBR!
-Was that a 'Bears Still Suck!" chant? I think it was. Well played!

That's all I've got folks, good-night!
FG

Must win, must win in the trenches

2010-12-23T12:13:00.000-06:00

Potentially, we get two playoff games at Lambeau Field this season. You heard me, dear readers. With the Giants and the Bears coming to town in weeks 16 and 17, and two wins needed to earn a wild-card position in the actual playoffs, we must win, and to do that, we must win in the trenches. Both the Giants and the Bears have strong defensive fronts, and our losses this season can arguably be traced back to piss-poor play from our offensive line, so that's what I'll be watching closely.

The good news is that the line did a pretty good job protecting Flynn during his first NFL start (on the road), and they also showed good form in the running game. As I wrote after that game, if the line plays like that in weeks 16 and 17, we'll be playing in week 18, too, and hopefully weeks 19, 20 and 22 as well. Of course, we've also seen the line sleep-walk through the Detroit game just a few weeks ago, so who knows what we'll see.

I haven't been lucky enough to see a game in person this year, but I am working on it. These next two should be the ones to see, dear readers. I do expect both games to have the 'playoff atmosphere' so I'm sure they'll be a real hoot. Plus, I do think we'll win them both, so that there's a bonus in your Christmas stocking!

Before I drop my prediction for Sunday, let me make a suggestion for those folks who are doing some last-minute shopping: Give the gift of meat and cheese. Fine meats and cheeses are appreciated by all. You will never find a pack of bacon laying in a box in some-one's attic, people will not return a 10-year-old sharp cheddar. No, people will love you more if you give them meats and/or cheeses. You're welcome!

Back to the game: We haven't started off December very well, but the stars have lined up to give us a path to the playoffs, starting this Sunday at Lambeau. If we can't win here, then we can't win it all. Mark it, folks: Giants 24, Packers 34.

Merry Christmas, dear readers! Until next time, then,
FG

Step away from the micro-scope

2010-12-22T12:12:00.000-06:00

Losing doesn't sit well with me, or you, I imagine. If I'm playing a game of cribbage or euchre or trouble, I play to win. Watching the Packers lose is about as bad as it gets. It's down-right lousy.

So no, I still haven't gotten over my mully-grabs from Sunday night. The Christmasy spirits have yet to lift that cloud. And based on a lot of the comments I've heard and read this week, you haven't gotten over your mully-grabs, either.

Losing leads to dissection. Where did it go wrong? Who can we blame? And so on... That's one way to beat the gloom: Blame some-one else. Assign the blame. Get the blame away from you. Far away. It's poor clock management, it's poor coaching, the play-calling is all wrong, why didn't you change that light-bulb and now look I stubbed my toe! You scream and it hurts, and screaming makes it hurt less.

I'm guilty as the next grump, dear readers. You needn't go back more than two or three posts to hear me assign blame. It's very human to do that. If it weren't so goddamned cloudy I'd be more sunny, and so on. You get lousy enough on the insides and pretty soon you're finding the cure for measles, peering over slides of little organisms down to the cellular level, looking for the culprit. I'm gonna getchya, you varmint, you ... you trouble-maker!

Step away from the micro-scope, dear readers. It's not that complicated, after-all. Making mistakes is also human and that's often the most realistic diagnosis, when you get down to it. A couple of plays, a couple of bad bounces, some-one goes the wrong way and it junks up the works. End of story.

Bring the focus back a bit, find the horizon and see the season as it stands, and just admit it: Assigning blame for the things that happen on this strange planet is an exercise in self-induced mad-ness. Football isn't science and most of us aren't scientists any-ways. We lost a game we should have won. It happens. But there is another game, another chance to win, and chase the gloom away. So stoke the wood-stove and pour another glass of egg-nog, enjoy the company of family and friends, and devote your-self to kind-ness, to simplicity, to knowing you can't control every-thing around you (at least until the off-season!). Your love of the Packers is fun but it doesn't change space or time. Focus on the things you can influence and quit feeling so lousy about a game.

New England doesn't even matter any-ways. We're gonna win the next two and the next four after that, and then you'll forget all about last week and that fat guy returning a kick to the door-step on national television.

Merry Christmas, dear readers,
FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon: So close, yet so far

2010-12-20T13:24:00.000-06:00

Here are my game-notes from the pain-ful loss in New England:

- Following his pre-game interview, Clay Matthews galloped down the side-line like a unicorn. Nice form!
- Alvin and Ruth Flynn are in the house. Hello! Did you raise your son to conquer impossible situations?
- Deferring again... in order to set up the on-side kick?!? Holy smokes. That sets a tone.
- And it turns into a FG. Good start. Good start. I'll take it.
- Along with a ham, the game spread includes cheesy potatoes, cayenne shrimp pasta, a large cookie-cake, and of course, ice-cold PBR.
- Ah that's a kick to the privates. In a game like this, we needed that sure interception, Chuck.
- And yep, it turns into a touch-down almost right away. Blasted!
- Watching that line-man rumble down the side-line to set up another Patriots score, it makes me wonder why a team hasn't tried signing a giant. I'm not talking a big guy... Like a certified giant of freakish proportions. Someone that honestly took four or five guys to slow down, maybe ten or 11 guys to tackle. We gotta go looking for a giant in the off-season. Even if it didn't work it would be hilarious.
- Alright, Jennings finally gets a target and it's for a touch-down! Game. On. And I also just secured my place in our fantasy football championship next week! Whoo!
- Although James Jones made a great catch for our first touch-down, he failed to go up and get another deep throw, and then he stops on his route, leading to a pick-six. I'll say it again: He's just not a clutch play-maker. He'll always let us down, under-whelm.
- That was a terrible point-swing on the pick-six, but what a response drive. If we don't win with this kind of time-of-possession advantage, I just don't know how we could win today.
- BJ Raji loves to eat that mac n cheese!!!! That's why you blitz Brady. Gotta get to him or he'll get to you. Raji is quietly having a dynamic season. What a motor!
- Kuhn is just stampeding over the defense. He's a favorite in the Union house-hold. He's also following the proud GB FB tradition of 'excellence in leaping'.
- Final drive ends with a frustrating waste of time, all of us screaming: Snap the ball!!! McCarthy gets lots of flack for losing so many close games. Sometimes I think, hey, we're in almost every game and you can't win them all, but the pattern is disturbing. So close, yet so far.
- Flynn was impressive (way to go Alvin and Ruth!), as was the defense, but we still control our destiny even with the loss. The playoffs start next Sunday and if we play like this the next two weeks at home, we should win both games.

That's all I got, folks,
FG

One injury too many? Who cares? Stay positive

2010-12-17T15:37:00.001-06:00

The injury problems the Green Bay Packers have faced this season have been well-documented. While it's all well and good to say, 'No excuses and the next man up' at some point there just isn't any-one else on the bench. For every Desmond Bishop there is also an Erik Walden, who will now start at outside line-backer against the hottest offense in the game, thanks to the injuries of Brad Johnson and Frank Zombo. Bishop has proven valuable as 'the next man up' but guys like Walden are coming straight off the scrap heap. Enough is enough, dear readers!

And just when you think it can't get any worse, we lose Ronnie Rodgers, a gimme in Detroit, and probably, a reasonable shot at the division title. All along, I kept thinking: So long as we have Rodgers up-right we still have a good chance. I'd say that in my brain every time we'd lose a key starter, and for most of the season that sentiment was accurate. It's the straw that breaks the back type of injury. On defense you might say the same about Cullen Jenkins, who is also on the shelf indefinitely.

In my profanity-laced Freewheelin' column earlier this week, I summed it up by saying maybe this just wasn't our year, and the more I think about it, and the more likely it appears that Rodgers won't be back for the New England game on Sunday night, the more I believe that.

I snapped this column's picture while ice fishing on one of my favorite lakes this week. Me and my buddy marched out through the snow to one of our best spots, set our traps, and then watched as a blanket of fog crept in on us. Soon there-after we couldn't see more than 25 feet in any direction. My regular readers will know I am a staunch believer in the omen-world, and there is no doubt that is what the fog represented. The fog eventually lifted but I wasn't surprised that we didn't catch any-thing. The fog told us the future: You don't belong here, folks.

Rodger's second concussion of the year tells me the same thing.

Despite that sinking feeling, my regular readers will also know that I am ever the optimist. Did we pack up our crap and leave the lake just because of some fog? Hell no we did not. Am I going to give up on the season just because we are suffering 3.8 season-ending injuries per game? No sir. No ma'am.

So we've got noodle-armed Matt Flynn starting against the best team in the league, on the road? So what? Just because the omens are against you doesn't mean you lay down on the field and weep your soul unto the frozen earth. There is always a path to success - my grampa taught me that.

This weekend's path starts with defense, and that's no surprise. They've been pretty darn good all season and they'll need they're best game of the season on Sunday, even with a flock of back-ups taking the field. They'll need turnovers. It's a tall order, I'll admit, but it's possible.

We'll need at least one big special teams play. No time like the present to get the first one of the season, right?

And finally, we'll need McCarthy to dial it back a bit and call a true 'west coast' game. You can't ask Flynn to through over-the-shoulder fades or laser seam routes. Call some screens, call some slants, get the ball out of his hands quickly. Mix in the run, and take full advantage of any good field position the defense can deliver.

It's difficult to think about the Packers as such big under-dogs, but that's reality. Fog is fog, and when that's the case, you gotta keep your traps in close where you can see 'em.

With the season very much on the line, I believe McCarthy will play the hand he's got, and hopefully the defense can put the offense on it's back out in New England. And hey, folks, I'm doing my part: I've secured a massive ham which will be cooked in the crock pot all day leading up to kick-off. I hope you will find it in your-selves to stay positive and consume large quantities of meat. Mark it, folks: Packers 17, Patriots 13.

Until next time, then,
FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon - SHIT!!!

2010-12-12T15:43:00.000-06:00

Here's my game-notes, folks:
- Shit! You don't see Jennings drop many easy ones like that, let alone set up an interception.
- If you missed everything in the first half up until the two-minute warning, as they reportedly did in the Madison market, due to a power outage, you didn't miss any-thing.
- Rodgers can't put him-self at risk like that. And... he's concussed. Shit.
- Shit shit shit.
- SHIT!!!!!
- Even without Rodgers in there, we ought to spank the Lions... But they are whupping us. Every-where.
- The defense kept us in it, but in the end they caved. Third stringer beats second stringer.
- Shit.
- Deep breath. Next three are now must wins. And they can, IF we get Rodgers back.
- But, this just isn't our year, is it?

That's all, folks,
FG

First ice as winter closes in

2010-12-09T21:24:00.000-06:00

On the land and under-water, the dark-ness is closing in - winter rattles the windows of mind and home like a giant canteen of skull-buster flowing down the hatch. The pond has long been covered with that icy shield, but now the bigger lakes are locking up, shivering, singing like whales. December is here and we're back on a winning streak, ya. Who could ask for more, dear readers?

Well, I wouldn't gripe about four more wins to finish the regular season. And if the earth is feeling generous, I'll take a 40 inch pike on one of my traps this weekend...

While I'll be punching holes on my favorite early-ice spot down the road this weekend, breathing in the crisp-ness, the blessing that is a real winter, the Packers head the other direction, down to Detroit where they're too embarrassed to show up and support their team. Bunch of knuckle-heads, them motor-city jabber-wockies. The Lions are prepared to use a silent count - at home - since there will probably be more rambunctious Cheese-heads in the crowd than any-thing. That tells you all you really need to know about the Lions. It's sad, really. Just imagine once the Vikings get moved out to sunny Los Angeles, then we'll get the Ram-horns and we'll have two JV squads in our division. I'm not even sure that's good for us. It certainly isn't any-thing to get excited about. Four automatic wins each year, sure, but four garbage match-ups to watch as well.

Ah, but who am I kidding, dear readers? I don't need 16 (or 18) nail-biters every season. I'm already nervous as a cat on an ice-berg.

Lots of folks I've run into around the town - at the grocer, while banking, out shoveling the walk-way - seem to think we're in for a trap game here. I know where they're coming from, we've had a few Thanksgivings spoiled in recent memory, but I'm not worried. We're either gonna face a third-string QB or a youngster who's been nursing a sore torso for most of the season. Here's a reality check for the worry-worts: We've got a damned good defense. Cover Mega-tron and they can't hang with us. Ronnie Rodgers is gonna burn that defense up so bad they're gonna feel cold. Like ice.

You ever see that program? I saw it once back when they first came out with full-color-television sets. Whoa baby. Cousin Walter was, of course, one of the first on the block to adopt the new technologies. Ike wasn't even born yet. There was this program about a cave, and a dragon in that cave, it breathed fire so hot it turned any-one who entered his lair to ice. Who could imagine such a thing? Good Lord, dear readers. I'm gonna have night-mares just thinking about it again. I guess that's sort of like getting wind-burnt while ice-fishing, though. You don't notice it out there, even in the shanty, and then you get home and look in the mirror and there's a goofy-looking lobster staring back atcha. Hello, good-lookin'! Don't pinch me!

Well, I suppose I oughta go shovel the steps off, and then I'm pouring myself a Golden Grahams* on the rocks, sit around the wood burner and maybe read some Steinbeck. Hope you all stay warm, but not so warm so as to get burnt!

Let's mark it, folks: Packers 35 - Lions 10. Until next time, then,
FG

* - Honey-flavored whiskey plus boiling milk and a hand-ful of Golden Grahams cereal pieces. Use responsibly!

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon - Throw-back

2010-12-05T20:21:00.000-06:00

Great win, here's my game-notes:

- Great. Another mediocre start. Terrible start, actually. Offense can't finish lately. I wasn't planning on this being a nervous game.
- I do love the throw-back uniforms. Rodgers should've worn brown long sleeves, though.
- I'm not saying we should cut the guy, 'cause he does have talent, but will James Jones ever clean up his game enough to escape mediocrity? You've gotta go get the ball. You've gotta want it more, James.- Rodgers has reverted to holding the ball too long again. Looks off at the start here.
- That said, the 49ers have been getting good pressure on Rodgers.- Nice 'false Kuhn' call by the Lambeau crowd. That's the other slow white running back, folks! Guess it is kind hard to read those front numbers.- Nice defensive stand. Gotta re-sign Cullen Jenkins. Jenkins, then Bishop.

- Oh boy! Bomb TD to Jennings! I feel better instantly. 7-6.
- "1929 formations" - I like 'em.
- OK, there's the screen pass. Yes Yes.
- Now that is actually Kuhn! 14-6. Like how the camera caught him on the side-line blasting a major snot rocket and then immediately giving the crowd (or some-one) the 'number 1' signal. Yes Yes. You rule at dive plays and snot eviction. Kuuuuuuhhhhn!!!

- You don't see Nick Collins screw-up that bad very often, but that was a terrible, lousy excuse for a tackle. I can't believe that is actually him. Did a double take.
- Alright now! Right back at 'em with a long Donald Driver touch-down. Always fun when you get up and start a-jumpin' for a long pass and then it just keeps going all the way to the end-zone. Boom. High Fives! Donald Driver: Shifty for Life! 21-13.

- I got an A+ in Billick's Coaching 101 class. Spacing, accuracy, timing. Got it. This applies to so many things in life, but it is most expertly illustrated by a perfect Greg Jennings bomb catch. Further illustrated by Greg absolutely toasting #35 for the TD a few plays later. He just makes guys look stupid some-times. Love it.
- Lambeau Field looks immaculate on this fine December day. The artificial grow-lights must be workin'. Occasional snow flurries were a nice touch.
- Mooney and I figured this one out: Jordy loves to catch, but he's just not that big a fan of running forward after the catch.
- That ref has a zombiefied look. Ew.
- Were too many penalties to start, but much improved in the second half. Much cleaner play. Thank you, team.
- I like the play-off reseeding idea. The terrible NFC west will give the league a good example and excuse for making this change, and they should.
- Raji eating mac n' cheese. Like that celebration a lot better than Zombo's Zorro mask dance. Ew.
- Collins interception is the icing cake. The syrup on the pancake. Makes up for that bad missed tackle before, some-what. Of course then we get a prime examle of an unnecessary review. This league is all flags an' reviews an' commercials. Frustrating. Let 'em play, eh?

- Good win. And of course the Bears squeak out another victory. Suh got penalized at the end for tackling Cutler too rough. OK... Get Culter a bottle and a blanky. Waaaa!

Good-night, folks,
FG

The bounce-backer

2010-12-03T10:49:00.000-06:00

I don't often write about the great history of the Green Bay Packers, even though I have lived through them, and witnessed the growth of the franchise like one of my own children. I may be the oldest living Packers blogger on the planet earth, but I know the audience wants to talk about the present and future before the past, and so do I. But even with no direct mention of history, that story certainly informs me, it permeates my thoughts as I interpret the current chapter, no doubt about it, dear readers.

I'm not going to start giving history lessons today, either, but with the Packers wearing their throw-back uniforms on Sunday to celebrate the first of many champion-ships, in 1929, I thought it was appropriate to address the topic of history and how it influences all writers, myself included. Moving along...

I sure wouldn't want to be on the 49ers steam train as it heads to Green Bay this weekend. It's going to be a classic December Sunday in Lambeau, dear readers, and on those days the visitor rarely comes out ahead, or even close to tasting victory. It's going to be so cold the snot freezes to your moustache, and after another close loss I expect the Packers to put a thumpin' on the visiting team. Facing criticism for being pass-happy, and icy conditions, you might think Coach McCarthy will put more running plays in the game-plan, but you'll probably be wrong. The 49ers may be terrible, they may be coached by a maniac, but they do hold up against the run... In my estimation, now that they've lost Frank Gore for the season, that's what they hang their fancy California gem-stone hats on more than any-thing. So hold the horses on un-proven James Starks and Nance and Jackson. I expect McCarthy to stay true to his nature and attack the point of least resistance and greatest advantage: Through the bitterly-cold air.

And that's fine with me. So long as they win, and win big, just like the '29 team did in Green Bay, en route to a 12-0-1 season. OK, I can't resist sharing this historical nugget: The only blemish in the '29 team was a tie on November 28 to the pebble-eatin' Frankford Yellow Jackets. Go figure.
:::
I don't put much stock in schedule evaluation in August, but like any projection, it becomes more accurate once you have more data, and that we have, dear readers. As you'll see below, I think the Packers will crush the 49ers on Sunday. I don't condone 'looking ahead' if you're on the team, but I thoroughly enjoy this practice, especially at the start of December - one of my favorite months - where conference championships are won and play-off runs begin.

After the 49ers, we go to Detroit, to New England, and then host the Giants and the Bears. I see us going 4-1 over these final five games, and if we do that, we ought to be playoff bound as champions of the NFC North. We could go 3-2 or 5-0, even, and that wouldn't surprise me, but I'll put up with a loss in New England if we win the other four. Hell, I'll take 4 and 1 in any combination!

The Bears have a tougher path ahead. They go to Detroit, host New England, to Minnesota, host the Jets, and finish the season with a visit to Green Bay. While this is tougher than the Packers schedule, it's not that much tougher (the Jets are clearly the better 'New York' team). First of all, they get to host New England, Philly, and the Jets, while we had to play those teams on the road? That's baloney, but I'm sure it all balances out some-how. Any-ways, I don't see them beating the Jets or the Patriots, even at home, and I bet they find a way to lose at Detroit or Minnesota as well. And of course we're going to embarrass them in Lambeau. No matter, we should beat them by a full game in the standings by the time 2011 rolls around. As usual, the Bears get a few wins on pure luck every year, and they already have those in their pockets. That final game at Lambeau is going to be important no matter what happens between now and then, though.
:::
Back to this weekend, it's obviously a must-win. More accurately, it's a game we should and will win. Mark it, folks: 49ers 13, Packers 27.

Until next time, then,
FG

The right tool for the job

2010-12-01T14:56:00.001-06:00

Like a lot of Packers fans, I was complaining and worrying about the lack of a running game - once again - after another close loss down in Atlanta. I'm still not convinced we can run when we need to, but Coach McCarthy didn't seem to share that concern, and after listening to his comments on the subject, I do feel a bit better.

Essentially, McCarthy claimed he could have run, but that he thought the passing game was doing so well it would have been foolish to do so. "We played in a dome, a very fast track and had favorable match-ups," said McCarthy this week, defending another pass-happy game-plan. He thought their greatest advantage was attacking through the air. This I buy, but isn't that his approach more weeks than not, regard-less of opponent? Is this simply just a passing league, or is this a league of piss-poor passing defense? Or are the rules so favorable to the passing game that the field is tipped too far in that direction?

I chewed on these questions for a while, dear readers... I've always been told the best offense blends the run with the pass, that you've got to establish the run, et cetera. So in a foot-ball sense, it's hard to accept a coach who often abandons the run, even if the passing game is moving the ball pretty well. McCarthy knows more about offensive game-planning than any packers blogger or beat writer out there – that's indisputable – so I decided to come at this from another angle. What do I know more about than McCarthy? How can I see this puzzle through that kind of understanding?

And then I woke up to snow, the pond froze over, and thoughts of ice and ice fishing crept over me like solidity surely creeps up on a liquid water molecule this time of year.

While most problems require a multi-faceted approach for finding a solution, or the best possible results, some-times the problem requires a refined approach, using specialized equipment and tactics. McCarthy may be a passing attack wizard, but I, dear readers, am a regular Einstein when it comes to ice fishing.

Disclaimer: the following section requires a basic under-standing of ice-fishing versus open-water fishing, and the equipment and tactics used, to understand the point out-lined above:

So I imagined myself coming off the ice after a long day of fishing, and holding a press conference:

Q: FG, only a couple of pin-dicks landed today, but it looks like you lost a pretty big pike at the hole there near sun-down... In hind-sight, should you have used a landing net?

Well no, you can't fit a landing net down a 10-inch hole, for starters, so that wouldn't make a difference out there. Now I could have used a gaff-hook, but of course that item is still on injured reserve. In reality, the fish bit through the line before I even saw her, so that wouldn't have made a difference any-ways. It was a big one, though. Tough loss. Next question.

Q: Sure, but how do you expect to catch big fish when you don't even have a boat out there?

The lake is frozen. What are you, some kind of pebble-eater?

Q: So you never considered throwing out some bobbers and drifting, covering some more water? I mean, you basically sat in one spot doing mostly the same thing all day...

Again, the lake is frozen. Thought my best chance was moving tip ups around on that weed edge, making sure my bait was lively, drinking plenty of PBR to stay hydrated. That spot has produced big fish before, and we had one good opportunity at the end. I liked the match-ups my minnows gave me in these conditions, but the fish just didn't cooperate at the end of the day. You can't win 'em all.

Q: FG, you can say tip-ups are the best option on a frozen lake, but don't you at least need to establish the casting game at some point during the day in order to open up the live bait attack?

Again, we were on a frozen lake, the casting game was not an effective option. We did try a cast on that one short-yardage play, but of course it was stuffed for a loss and the lure got frozen to the ice. We hadn't really practiced that play, I'll admit. If we were fishing an open weed flat down south, sure, I'd open up the play-book more, but you've got to acknowledge the conditions.

Q: What about trolling? I know you've caught fish trolling before. Why not give that a try?

Next question.

Q: What is the key to drilling a quality ice fishing hole?

Gotta have proper pad level. It's all technique, preparation, map study, knowing your ice thickness, how well the auger is running.

Q: What kind of tip-ups were you using? Wire or floro rigs?

That's none of your god-damned business, son. (abruptly leaves podium)

[end scene]

:::

Look folks, McCarthy may make some bone-headed plays, but he's an expert, and after reading and hearing so much griping about the lack of a running game, I realized it's more a lack of a desire to run, and that most of the question being asked are missing the point. This isn't just a decision you reach on the field of play. If you are going ice fishing you put the rods and reels away and you make sure your drill has sharp blades. The whole week of preparation was built on the idea that they'd pass it all day and never look back. There's a reason Donald Lee was a healthy scratch, that the pass protection looked much better than the run blocking: The team had been prepared to pass, pass and pass some more. When the team is prepared to run I think they've shown they can do that, too. Let's just hope that McCarthy uses the right tool for the job as winter sets in, even when/if it's the running game.

May your auger blades and your minds be sharp! No running and no yelling!
Until next time,
FG

The Freewheelin' F. Gordon - Hotlanta

2010-11-28T22:13:00.001-06:00

Hey folks ya feelin' blue? Me too. I've been meaning to start up a 'reaction' column for a while now, basically a recollection of the game's note-worthy aspects, bullet-point format, et cetera, and for some reason losing another close one made the type-writer call my name this evening, so I guess it's time to get on with it. The other reason I'm starting it up tonight is because I finally figured out a name for the new 'feature' - The Freewheelin' F. Gordon, obviously named for the finest Bob Dylan album ever, which I listened to on my drive home from deer camp on the hi-fi tape deck. Alright, gitty-up!

- I bet that Atlanta defensive coordinator, Brian Van Gorder, is a real creep. I have no idea how we got held to 17 points by this moustachioed weirdo. Yet another example of our offense not putting up enough points early in the game, though. Opportunity. Wasted.

- The passing game was working pretty damned well all day, but I think the lack of a running game in a regular season game of this importance does concern me. And that was a key difference out there today. Our defense couldn't stop the run. Just imagine if Rodgers had that kind of run game.

- At least a few times during most games I scream at AJ Hawk through the television set. Today was no different. The kid just gets run over or is out of place on too many plays.

- First time this year the Packers loss when I made hot wings. Was a really good batch, too. What the hay?

- Love hearing the 'Go Pack Go' chant on the road. Awesome!

- What can you say about the special teams? Smells like a butt.

- Atlanta's pretty decent, but I still think pretty highly of our guys. I think we'll still make the play-offs, but we might end up having to go back down south. Lot's of room for improvement, and we only lost by 3 this time. I'm feeling blue, but we're OK.

- Like that Quarless has "God's" and "Gifts" tattooed on his arms, but I still think he's got questionable hands.

- Andre Johnson apologized for whuppin' the snot out of that punk Cortland Finnegan. "I apologize ... for being so awe-some."

- The Bears should be embarrassed about that 'playing field'. What a joke.

Alright, good-night,

Creepy Ted was right - Part 2 (Or, Let's focus on the Packers)

2010-11-24T17:46:00.000-06:00

Football is a serious god-damned business, folks. Look at that icy stare, colder than the frozen water out on the pond! I know my last post focused on the negatives of the Viking's organization - which is really terrible - but after a great win like that one, I'd regret, I think, not looking at the flip side of that coin. If the Viking's terrible, terrible team building style prove Creep Ted right, I ought to spend some time on how solid this year's Packer team has become - despite so many injuries - which also proves that Creepy Ted was right. This high-end talent, this depth that allowed us to over-come a bizarre amount of key injuries and keep improving week after week, that is the device of Ted's serious mind. So you get a bonus column this week, dear readers. Wahoo!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am happy as a horse in an apple-orchard that the Packers are on their way up while the Vikings are crashing to the ground - both this season, and at least in the near-term. That-there's the truth, folks. And I figured it would be fun to comb through this roster that is making it happen, to see if the perception is true about Creepy Ted's organic work, especially in the wake of embarrassing #4 and the Vikings, who chose to build a team artificially (and with an unusual amount of our left-overs).

Thanks to the Packer's 'How Built' page, this was remarkably easy to do, and I thoroughly enjoyed the refresher. Basically, I've broken the team up into three categories: Premium Weapons, Essential Beasts, and Solid Players. I would also argue that there is a fourth category of player in this league, some-thing like 'Lousy Bums', but of course the Packers don't have any of those on the roster. Players below in bold are 'thanks to Ted' either through draft, trade (ha!) or free agency pick-up (during regular or off-season). I would also note that there are some really good players that were acquired prior to Ted's arrival, but that to some extent he should get credit for keeping a talented player around this far into his tenure. I only included players who are seeing the field regularly and I tried to be a tough grader...

YOUR CURRENT PACKERS (year acquired):

Premium Weapons
Aaron Rodgers (05)
Nick Collins (05)
Tramon Williams (06)
Charles Woodsen (06)
Greg Jennings (06)
Clay Matthews (09)

Essential Beasts
Donald Driver (99)
Cullen Jenkins (04)
Ryan Pickett (06)
Desmond Bishop (07)
Josh Sitton (08)
BJ Raji (09)

Solid Players
Chad Clifton (00)
Scott Wells (04)
Donald Lee (05)
Atari Bigby (05)
AJ Hawk (06)
Jason Spitz (06)
Daryn Colledge (06)
Jarrett Bush (06)
Brandon Jackson (07)
James Jones (07)
Mason Crosby (07)
Korey Hall (07)
John Kuhn (07)
Jordy Nelson (08)
Pat Lee (08)
Matt Flynn (08)
Brett Swain (08)
Brandon Chillar (08)
Brett Goode (08)
TJ Lang (09)
Quinn Johnson (09)
Tom Crabtree (09)
Bryan Bulaga (10)
Andrew Quarless (10)
CJ Wilson (10)
Tim Masthay (10)
Charlie Peprah (10)
Sam Shields (10)
Frank Zombo (10)
Howard Green (10)
Anthony Smith (10)

Other notable Puzzle Pieces not on current roster
Ryan Grant (07) Beast
Jermichael Finley (08) Premium

So what's the results? All six of the team's active 'premium' players were Ted pick-ups, five of them draft picks. I also put Jermichael Finley in this category, so that's six game-changing draft picks and one golden free agent pickup over six seasons of work.

Of the seven players ranked 'beast' (including Ryan Grant), five were Ted pick-ups, three of them drafted. The vast majority of the 'essential' category were Ted picks, and you could argue a few of those guys belong in the 'beast' range fairly easily. Many of them will likely improve a level (or two) over the next few years. With youth comes time for potential to ripen!

Over-all, it's great to poke fun at the Vikings, especially after ending their season in week 11, but we are in that position because of Creepy Ted, to a large extent, with the talented roster he has built in Green Bay. Now that it's been proven that he made the correct decision at the correct time, regarding #4, I wonder if the anti-Thompson crowd that formed when he let a popular-but-declining player go will begin acknowledging the over-all wisdom of his organic team-building philosophy? That is certainly the less-obvious lesson from this week in the NFL, and it deserves mention.

Until next time,
FG

Creepy Ted was right (Or, Wahoo!)

2010-11-23T22:35:00.003-06:00

I don't expect too many worshipers of Grandpa Perve read this blog on a regular basis, but I wonder how the True Believers are feeling this week after being proven oh so wrong? As we true Packers fans – who appreciate loyalty and rivalries – knew all along, Creepy Ted was right to put team before an aging quarter-back who wanted to run the entire franchise with a part-time effort. And Creepy Ted was right to demand a full-time commitment from Grandpa Perve. A live arm and a southern accent are nice, but you can't just show up on Sunday and expect to win in this league, folks. That much was proven, without a thread of doubt, in the disgusting dome across the big river, November 21.

When the full moon rose over deer camp after the wonderful shellacking of the hated Vikings, it's glow illuminated that fact quite perfectly. The Packers simultaneously ended the Viking's season by embarrassing them on their home field, got their coach fired, and decisively proved that Chilly's recipe of special treatment and appeasement were fool's gold in the truest sense. It was clear Chilly had lost that locker room, and it's no wonder when the rules only apply to some, when the coach begs a washed up quarter-back to un-retire again and then chauffeurs him from the airport to the stadium, lets him call whatever plays he wants and make all the roster decisions. It's pretty clear that Grandpa Perve and his bloated ego were running the whole show from top to bottom, once he was given the kind of power he thought he deserved in Green Bay.

And while I knew all of this before Sunday's game, it was spectacular watching everything fall into place so perfectly in Minnesota, the way it should. And to watch Ronnie Rodgers take over the game the way he did, that was icing on the cake, dear readers. You can't say enough about how professionally #12 has handled this situation, and you can't help but feel glad for him, sticking it to the old cry-baby who was only really playing to stick it to Creepy Ted, any-ways. I saw the picture above on Tuesday morning and I had a good laugh, no doubt. It so perfectly illustrates the bitter-ness of defeat versus the joy of winning, both of a single game and of an entire organizational philosophy. The thing is, Grandpa Perve won't ever admit it. He's probably still thinking of ways to get back at mean ol' Ted Thompson, still refusing to even acknowledge the skill of Rodgers. Clearly the symbolism of this win means a lot to this old columnist, but...Maybe I'm being too much of a cave-man...

I read this article the other day about a study that says people who have been shown pictures of savory meat are far less aggressive or mean-spirited.

Ah, that's nice. So the old timer wants to keep playin' even though it hurts. Badly. So what. Quit boasting an let 'em, right? Don't be a sore winner, FG. Alright.

Second take: I appreciate what #4 did for the Packers over the years, but I'm salty as all hell that he wouldn't make the necessary commitment to the Packers, year-round, and that he ran off to the rival Vikings like so many other former Packers - treachery! And that said, I'm so damned happy we whupped the hell outta them purple pansies - twice! - and that we're on the way up while they're on the way down. BOOM.

What else?
- One thing I've noticed that doesn't get a lot of chatter is the return to discipline in recent weeks. It's a lot like how you don't notice an offensive line-man so much unless he's committing holding penalties, or how deer hunting can get mighty boring if you go a long stretch without seeing anything but your shivering feet. But think back through the last three games - penalties are no longer an issue. Maybe the refs are just letting them play a bit more, but you've gotta think most of that is on the players and coaches, and I really appreciate that.

- On a side note, some-what related, I'm sick of un-necessary challenges. Not particularly in Packers games or any-thing. Just in general. Quit slowing the game down! Bad enough with all these built-in commercial breaks and then you gotta listen to two idiots (especially that Thursday-night crew I saw at Cousin Walter's!) yabber on about elbows and wigglin' balls and so forth. Shut-up and start the play-clock. Good grief!

- Lemme say, this team is for real, and if we can win down in Hotlanta that'll be a good sign. Would give us the upper-hand in the NFC, and give us all a little pay-back for them Falcons tarnishing our Lambeau playoff record a while back. Maybe make them come back an' try an' do it again this winter. They got a good squad, but Matt Ryan's not nearly as scary as that dog murderer. Yikes.

- Getting Greg Jennings on my fantasy team in the third round this year - in a Packer-fan-heavy league - has been sweet gravy. I get dizzy cheering for #85, and that new jersey I got has been good luck so far.

- A defense with Clay Matthews, Charles Woodsen and Tramon Williams is really some-thing special, folks. Three bona-fide play-makers and I'll tell you what, that makes up for some injuries. I don't want to get ahead of my-self, but I'm not nearly as nervous on defense any-more.

- Packers - Vikings game deer camp menu: A barrel of chicken wings and an industrial deep fryer working round-the-clock. Add sauce, add cold PBR. Presto! Through in a few batches of cheese curds and maybe a round or two of Cajun catfish nuggets for good measure. Whoa, baby.
- Through Monday, no-body got a deer, but so what? I'm on mid-week break, re-charging.

Enjoy the games on Thursday, and I hope you all have a splendid Thanks-giving! You better get your-self a nice pair of Packers sweat pants and a nice pair of house-slippers. I'll have my Atlanta preview column up on Friday, probably. Until next time, then,
FG

UPDATE (11.24): I read today what Rodgers had to say about the widely-circulated lead picture, and apparently Grampa Perve had cracked a joke about Packers Offensive Line Coach James Campen, just before the picture was snapped. Figures. Campen played center for #4's first career start back in '92. Any-ways, in hind-sight my line about Favre showing bitter-ness was probably un-warranted.

Da Turdy Point Buck

2010-11-19T10:32:00.001-06:00

Hey der folks, I was itchin' to listen to one of my favorite songs this morning as I was packing my crap up for Deer Camp, so I had Ike find me a good version for the website. 'Course nowadays we CAN watch the Packers up at Deer Camp, and thanks to the wonders of that same technology, we can share this fine tune with you right here, dear readers. Again, have a safe hunt, and GO PACK GO!
FG

Old timer in the deer camp

2010-11-17T15:50:00.001-06:00

We knocked ol' Grandpa Perve outta his rocking chair the first go-round, but wouldn'tcha know it, that crazy sonuvabitch climbed back up on the porch, trousers soiled, limpin' like a beaver with blisters. He's back for more, but like a lot of old-timers at the deer camp, he jus' don't hunt any-mores. No sir. Old What's His Name is stuck beneath the flicker of the kerosene lamp doing dishes and peelin' potatoes. He just likes hanging out now and laughin' with the fellers, hearing the stories, the filthy jokes, drinking a few cold PBRs, but he's never liked the cold, this one, and the simple thought of walking to the stand in the black-ness of morning hurts, let alone actually sitting in the quiet. There's no dirty jokes out there and no slippers, either. Better stay in by the fire, be part of the camp, hang on for a little while longer.
Even though I still get out in the stand, I know how it feels. Hunting is a young-man's sport. At first you're all gung-ho, piss 'n vinegar, jumping to get after them deer like a wild wolf, and then you hit your prime, you hunt smarter, enjoy yourself more... Eventually, most of us realize the deer camp is more about having fun that working so hard. It's what you love but it's vacation, after-all.
It really ain't fair for Clay Matthews to compete with Grampa Perve any-more, but don't tell that old-timer. He's gonna keep driving his truck when he's blind and some-one is just gonna have to hide his keys on him one day. Better get that rifle from him, too, crazy ol feller. Meanwhile Clay Matthews is running around the woods howling at the moon, and there's a big full one on the 21st, just driving him bonkers with the blood-lust.
Don't let the cruelty of nature lull yous to sleep, dear readers. Even with the disillusioned southerner and the comedy coach rocking in their chairs beneath the pathetic-dome, this will be a close game. You put a division rival out on that green-painted concrete and make 'em listen to that terrible horn, turn on your boom-box of false excitement - it's tough. That team is - for the most part - still comprised of professional athletes. So don't kid your-selves.
That said, though, it's gonna thrill the bejeebers outta me and the fellers to watch their season crumble up at deer camp. And once we take care of the Vikings and (hopefully) put an end to that sad little experiment, then we can take care of our neighbors to the south, who at least have the decency to hunt outside rather than from a heated tree-house. Even though we lost down there, I'm not terribly concerned with those round-heads.
Well I hope you all enjoy the hunting season, and I hope you have as fine an eatin' spread as our camp is gonna have on Sunday for the big game. Be safe out there, too. Don't do nothing stupid, and don't work too hard. On that note let's mark it: Packers 24 - Vikings 20.
Until next time, then,
FG

Stress-free relaxtion

2010-11-09T17:02:00.000-06:00

Most folks don't spend large portions of their free time on things that stress them out, but that's often the case with Packer Backers. I devote a big slice of my week to 'research and development' for the blog, and that's the fun part – even when things aren't going so well you can always find reasons for optimism. But come gameday, I get real wound up. Even in victory, I often end up with head-aches or other forms of nervous ills. Pretty much any close game I end up clutching the edge of my rocking chair and chewing on pebbles until my molars hurt. The Packers are a very bad habit. What do you call it when the thing you love is the thing that is killing you from within?
My doctor says, F. Gordon, you gotta take up water-color painting or join a choir, and I tell 'em, Doc, that's just me. I'm intense whether I'm building a campfire or getting the mail. I'm like a cork trying to hold back the bubbles, Doc.
So it's really, really enjoyable to have a game like the Cowboys win once in a while. By the middle of the first quarter the stress of gameday was melting away and by half-time every-one at Cousin Walter's house was polka dancing, and by the fourth quarter we were in a state of bliss pure as a Class A Trout Stream. I was actually able to sleep soundly, rather than listening to my ticker thumpin' like hoot owl.
I look forward to extending this stress-free relaxation into the bye week, dear readers.

Things I refuse to stew over:
- I was sad to hear Al Harris had been released, but business is business, so why get sore?
- So the Vikings and the Bears had come-back wins. So what? At least that'll keep Chilly around a bit longer. The longer he's coach the better. A real clown car up there full of pebble-eaters and round-heads.
- Falling leaves.
- The Bears-Vikings game next weekend. Bunch of ne'erdowells!

Alright I gotta go take a nap. Wake me up when week 11 starts,
FG

At the drop of a hat

2010-11-05T14:08:00.001-06:00

Outside of the Division, there is probably no team more hated by Packers fans in recent years than the Dallas Cowboys, who return to Lambeau Field on Sunday night with their season in the balance. A loss in Green Bay will certainly mean the end to a highly anticipated season for Dallas. They are down and hurting som'thing fierce, an' I'm mighty glad we're the team that gets to put them down for good this season. We oughta smack 'em in the mouth at the drop of a hat and end it real quick-like. And then keep after them, chasin' 'em all the way back the dusty trail them came up on.

If the Vikings game was a tipping point, and the Jets game was validation, the Cowboys game – in front of a national audience – is a chance to assert authority for the second half of the season. Yeah yeah, we're well beyond half-way, but I'm referencing the abstract half-way, marked by the late and much-needed bye week. For all the positives of the last two weeks, we are still hobbled like a turkey wearing turtle-neck, and the most important games are yet to come.

I'm not so worried about the offense on Sunday. I have all the confidence in Ronnie Rodgers and his posse to get back in sync against the lacka-daisical Dallas D. Although the numbers haven't been so explosive this young season, #12 has shown a mental tough-ness, and a knack for patience that can be frustrating on Sundays but more impressive over time. He'll get right, and like I said above, I'd bet my finest belt-buckle we hit a big play of some sort early on that'll rattle the opposition. And then the stampede'll be on. Gitty-up!

What intrigues me more, is whether The Puppet-master's defense can keep up the solid play shown since the October Full Moon. I really wish I could be there in person on Sunday to see Matthews hunt Jon Kitna under the lights.

Before we head up to the cabin for the weekend, I'll leave you with two bold predictions: BJ Raji will end up doing a Lambeau Leap on Sunday, and the Packers will win by 20! Mark it: Cowboys 10, Packers 30. Have a dandyuva weekend, Dear Readers! Until next time, then,
FG

You Shall Not Pass!

2010-11-03T14:38:00.000-06:00

As I wrote in my preview column last week, you beat good defense with defense. Can't get more than nine points? Hold'em to less. And so with human brontosaurus Howard Green planted on the line of scrimmage like a mighty fortress from olden tymes, The Puppetmaster commanded his defense to such a performance out in New York, facing one of the league's better teams coming off their bye week.
"You Shall Not Pass!" thundered Dom Capers from above. And they did not pass. And they did not run. And they did not score. And it, dear readers, was glorious in its simplicity.
The Fanatic is prone to over-reaction, as you well know. While I am encouraged by this development, I must remind the old mind to be cautious in interpretation as I sit in this here rocking chair by the wood-burning stove. Feed it another chunk of slow-burning oak and put the coffee to percolating in just the right spot... I've seen this trick before, only to stumble upon a shoot-out the next week.
The coffee starts to bubble in the lid, soaking the ground beans like the fire on my legs with November's creeping chill on the other side of the wall. Maybe I do believe.
It certainly warms my heart to know that Jon Kitna and the pathetic Cowboys are coming to town this weekend, and then our very own bye week, and then it's time to head into the woods for the real hunt. Until next time, then,
FG

In search of wiiiiinnnnnssss

2010-10-29T14:17:00.000-06:00

The wounded, staggering but standing, victory-craving Green Bay Packers travel to New York City this Halloween for a pivotal mid-season battle. Like a zombie in constant search of brains, this team, dear readers, will keep staggering forward no matter how many no-names they have to plug into the game-day line-up. I'm convinced they have that drive after watching youngsters BJ Raji and CJ Wilson grind out nearly every snap on the defensive line en route to victory over the hated Vikings.
The offensive line, on the other hand, is one of the few areas where injuries haven't completely wrecked the roster this season, and they too held up admirable under the bright lights. Bulaga and Clifton played a helluva game, in particular, often without help in pass protection. Line-men are the zombies of a football team, and on this Halloween weekend I'd like to give them some much-deserved praise. Snap after snap, they push forward, determined to win the battle in the trenches... thirsty, so thirsty for wiiiinnnnssss.
If we have any shot of eating the brains of victory in New York against the talented Jets, we'll have to hold our own on the line. The Jets are a team that runs and stops the run well. While I'm sure the Ewok and/or John Kuhn will have trouble pounding the rock, I am equally concerned about the passing attack. The Jets have one of the top two defenses in the league. Points will be hard to come by, but Rodgers should find a way to break through.
The key, I think, will be how well we stifle their offense. You beat good defense with defense, so Raji and Wilson and whoever else they find to plug in there will need to force the Jets into the air. If they get going on the ground it's gonna be a long, long day. Our zombies must clobber their zombies.
And since it's gonna be a close one, so far as I can tell, special teams will also prove pivotal, and that, dear readers, scares me more than the thought of zombies.
Everything is pointing against us: The AFC is 'vastly superior', say the experts, the Jets are healthy and coming off their bye week, at home. We don't stand a chance but for some reason I have faith.
While last week was a tipping point for the team, this ominous weekend is a potential momentum-builder. Beating the Vikings was crucial, but feasting on the big-mouthed, highly-touted Jets would trigger additional confidence and hunger for wiinnss. And wins, like brains, only make the monster stronger as he marches on.
Mark it, folks: Packers 20 - Jets 17.
Until next time, then,
FG

Relief in Wisconsin

2010-10-27T15:12:00.001-06:00

I couldn't find the right word to describe the relief I felt - that we all felt - upon defeating the hated Vikings and Grandpa Pervert on Sunday night. Couldn't find the words on Monday or Tuesday, either. And just as I - a life-long lover of language - could not accurately describe my state of mind with words, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. This pure sense of satisfaction was apparent in just about everyone I encountered so far this week. Every-one permeated joy! Now three days removed, I think that's the best way to say it.

We did it! Eyes glowed. I felt like hugging strangers, like pumping iron, like making triumphant goose noises while flapping my arm-wings. Ho-oonk! Gooo Pack Goooooo!!!

I couldn't sleep all through Sunday night, playing that Desmond Bishop inter-ception and touch-down over and over in my internal video device, fighting the urge to cheer wildly every time. When the sun rose on Monday I strolled out on the back porch in my Packers pajamas and let out a thundering victory 'Whoooop!' I attempted to replicate Greg Jennings double-post move and a squirrel fell out of a nearby tree.

And then the winds arrived from the west, winds of change, wiggling sheds all across glorious Wisconsin yards, clattering windows, singing sweetly: "We shook that monkey off our back and kicked it down a well, oh yes we did!" The Barometer sunk to a new record low on Tuesday, bringing the atmosphere closer to our hearts than it has been since the storm that sunk the Edmund Fitzgerald. Bless those 29 souls, but life is good. I like big storms despite their danger.

So we're back on top of the NFC North and it's only a matter of time until the Bears slip away (how did we lose that one?). The conference championship is no sure thing, but it's looking pretty good, despite the mounting injuries. Hopefully this is a start towards a fine second half of the season, and although the youngsters that held down the defensive line did so heroically, hopefully these filthy winds displace wounds with good health.

What else?

- The recipe I used for the hot wings was my favorite yet, but I will credit the night game, since it allowed me more time to bake them some-what dry.

- Rodgers looked terrible in some spots, but made big throws when he needed too, finally winning a close game that meant oodles to the Green and Gold.

- While laying awake on Sunday night I came up with my Halloween costume: Zombie Train Engineer. Simple. Spooky. For you younger readers, a train was a mode of transportation we used between horses and motorized buggies.

- My wife Mooney has a healthy obsession with Clay Matthews (who doesn't?), and we chatted about having her do a short blog post each week on all things CM3. Call it some-thing like "Mooney's Matthews Minute." This week's post, like many, would be titled: "Why are they holding him on every play!?! Why don't the refs call it?!?!" It's a good question, but at least they called it when it counted most on Sunday.

- Aside from Clay, Tramon Williams has been playing some stellar defense. He is one of the most important players on our team. I would like to see him signed to an extension, Pronto!

- Pat Lee is a terrible kick returner, but he's far superior to Yordy. Sorry, Yordy.

Until next time, then,

Knock grampa out of his rocking chair

2010-10-22T11:00:00.001-06:00

The absence of Clay Matthews has been devastating to the Packers. During the time he missed at the end of the Washington game and the entire Dolphins game, the pass rush has been nothing short of pathetic. On the flip side, our offensive line has had plenty of issues holding a pocket, and even when they did, you can tell Rodgers is rattled by the way he is hopping around back there.

These are not good problems to have going into a must-win game against Old-What's-His-Name and the Vikings.

Last year, I'm sure you'll remember, we got embarrassed twice by Grampa, largely because he had hour-glasses of time to relax in his rocking chair, easily picking apart our secondary en route to a mind-boggling passer rating. The NFL is a complex game, dear readers, but if we don't sack #4, or at least put some pressure on him, we don't stand a chance. That rule applies for Rodgers, too. This is a passing league, and you can't give these guys all day. Last year, Grampa dropped back to pass 59 times and was never sacked, rarely pressured. He completed 41 passes for 515 yards and seven touch-downs. I nearly puked typing that stat-line, folks.

It's pretty simple: We've gotta knock Grampa out of his rocking chair on Sunday night. Repeatedly. Some fancy stat-man did a little research, and in 2010, Old-What's-His-Name has "completed only 46.7 percent of his passes against five or more pass rushers" resulting in a 30th-best passer rating of 57.3 in those situations.

I'm sure The Puppet-master is aware of this information, but I still worry he won't bring the heat. And maybe with Matthews back, he won't need to as much, but I still implore Dom Capers to deploy an un-ending stream of blitz packages. We've gotta make that old hill-billy piddle his purple trousers for crying out loud! Until next time, then,
FG

The Big Tipping Point

2010-10-20T14:31:00.000-06:00

When you are as old as me, you develop a keen sense for the tipping point. Push on further and you might just lose it all ::: Call the right audible and every-thing works out. Of course you never really know if you did the right thing - life so often teeters and totters at the slightest breeze.

Most of you are probably too young to remember, but I still recall October of 1929 quite vividly, when it seemed to all the smart folks that the economy had permanently teetered and tumbled into the deepest, darkest pit of terrible lava imaginable. Going into the fall, the markets were hummin' and optimism was running high, but on October 24, the hull sprang a massive leak. That was Black Thursday. Panicked traders sold shares by the bucket-fulls and many who lost it all simply jumped out their windows. Think about that, dear readers. You go to work a-whistlin' and before supper-time you're brains are splattered all over the side-walk. By the 29th - Black Tuesday - the season was over, so to speak. Dark-ness washed over the country.

Reasonable historians list many factors that led to the Great Depression, but a key catalyst remains the loss of investor confidence following Black Thursday. In that respect, as in many things, it was only in our heads.

Fast-forward to October 24, 2010.

I would never argue that a football season is comparable to an economic depression - I merely use the story of Black Thursday to illustrate the slippery nature of tipping points. The game against the Vikings on Sunday night is, in my humble opinion, just that for the 2010 Packers season. Sitting at three-and-three, with troubling near-term indicators over-shadowing recent optimism for the campaign, I believe any shot at a successful season will fly out the window if we lose. And by "successful" I mean playoff victories, plural. Confidence in the players, coaches and front office will plummet, and the results will likely be a robust shake-up at season's end.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you might say, that kind of talk reeks of defeat-ism, FG!

True, I am a life-long optimist, and I wouldn't usually speak of the big tipping point so soon in the season, but the variable of a freakish injury plague tells me Sunday is the day. My whiskers feel the danger like an old cat-fish on the murky river-bottoms. Just can't afford dropping below .500 this weekend, not with all the bum-luck we've snagged up on lately.

Being a divisional game also gives this contest more weight, as do the obvious angles created by the treachery of Old-Whats-His-Name. A loss in that frame, at this time, in front of the home crowd, would devastate the Green and Gold, and possibly change the course of history.

As I mentioned in the lead, however, the tipping point can fall two ways, and if we make the right audibles to pull off this important victory, that would unlock a glorious path. Beating the hated Vikings on nationalized television has great potential to effect a sea-change in Green Bay that would set me off dancing in my night-slippers along with happy-feeted Packers fans across the globe. Can you feel the potential rhythms reverberating along this wonderful apex, dear readers?

Many of you, I know, cannot be there in person for this important evening at Lambeau, but there are many things you can do to ensure the tiny strings that make up the universe are wiggling in our favor this weekend: 1 - Wear Packers gear as often as possible and honk your motor-horns and passer-bys who share your fashion sensibilities. 2 - Brandish your most treasured lucky charms with the foolish naivety of a child. And 3 - Plan to feast on your go-to game-day dish, which for me, is a whopping platter of hot-wings with a side of PBR.

If we, as a collective, charge the atmosphere with these powerful omens, I do believe we will gravitate the tipping point to our side of the big river. Believe, dear readers! Believe! And mark it: Vikings 23 - Packers 33. Until next time, then,
FG

Gimpy, down-trodden and just gettin' started

2010-10-14T13:00:00.001-06:00

The sky is falling. It landed on shed number two out back this morning. Blew that poor shed to smithereens, bent the hell outta my nice rake, and spil't gas-o-line all over the place, which promptly found ignition (Glory Be!) and charred my poor dogwood shrubbery like a marshy-mallow.

The clatter and concussions of energy scar't Mooney so that she dropped a sheet of fresh deviling-eggs on the kitchen floor. Quite the mess, that was. I was down in the work-shop listening to some polka albums and widdlin' when the commotion erupted, an I nearly fel't off my stool. Would've, too, if it weren't for my cat-like reflexes, Dear Readers. After I gathered myself I got out the garden hose and drowned that poor shed and the shrubs until they was nothin' more than a heap of ashes. Guess I got a spot for the kiddie pool next summer, eh?

I've had this down-trodden cloud all around me this week. You know the one. She be gloomy and col't, persistent, always asking for more and more, un-satiable, terribly criminal. Kicking us all as we're down. The good heart has not been with us here in Packer-land this autumn.

But so what. Gather your-selves. Pour a hot cup of coffee.

When the sky begins to storm don't get so worked up. Here's a trick I lear't in the 1700s when I was fur-tradin: When you get caught in your own trap, or some other un-savory device of modern society or the wild, go ahead and ask your-self, Will this be up-setting in five years? Or will it be a good story to tell the neighbor-folk? And there you go. The sky is not falling. This is not a serious injury, no! It's an adorable kitten wearing a pink cast (commemorating breast cancer awareness month). We're just getting started.

The Packers return to Lambeau Field this weekend, and by golly if it ain't perty'rthan all get-out out there, my oh my. Don't you folks worry now, we're gonna smack them Dolphins up-side the beaks on Sunday. I wouldn't go swimming in the Green Bay there Dolphins! Whoa, Lord no! The muskies will tear you flipper-to-flipper, and if the muskies don't getcha, BJ Raji will! Think about it.

It won't surprise me none if the offense suddenly has the day we've all been suspecting, now that we're suspectin' it least. Gimme some more of that Ewok running back, Coach, and give me some of them slant passes I used to love so much. And then when they finally start creepin' up and sniffin' around the line, heels hot, that's when we'll un-leash the deep strike. Presto!

Well it seems a good after-noon for splittin' wood, so let's Mark It: Dolphins 20, Packers 21 in a thriller to turn the season right-side-up. Until next time, then,
FG

Use your weapons

2010-10-10T21:17:00.001-06:00

There has been a lot of un-necessary nail-biting this year, and we gave away another win on the road out in Washington DC on Sunday. I don't care how many facets of the game you muck-up, you've got to make that field goal to win it. Got to. But Mason missed it and now we're 3-2.

Special teams were once again atrocious, and McCarthy needs to fire Slocum yesterday, but this loss gets blamed squarely on the offense.

My top concern isn't Jordy Nelson's patented 7-yard kick returns, or Mason Crosby, or the injuries to Clay Matthews and Jermichael Finley and half of the defense. No, my top concern is that our amazing quarter-back Ronnie Rodgers has spent the majority of this young season ignoring his best wide receiver - Greg Jennings.

Sure, he's got a few touch-downs, but Jennings has disappeared for insanely-long stretches of play, as has the offense as a whole, and those two droughts almost always correlate. Jennings is a weapon that must be used. I watch other teams and most of them actually target their top wide-out. Not the Packers, though. I find it hard to believe he is really being double- or triple-teamed on every snap, and even if he is drawing extra attention, there are ways to feed him any-ways. It's baloney. What good is spreading the ball around to 15 different receivers if you can't score points? Better I think, to use your best weapons more heavily.

Maybe this is on Greg, and I'll have to watch more VHS tape to see if I can pick some-thing up, but I've got to think this is a game-planning deal here by Mike McCarthy. Or maybe Rodgers isn't looking at him when he's the primary read. I don't know. What I do know is Greg Jennings isn't touching the ball enough, and the offense hasn't been producing like it should.That unit basically had three shots to win the game, and they managed one long field goal that hit the post. Un-acceptable.

What else stood out?
- Terrible start. Pat Lee almost fumbles the kick-off. Donald Lee does fumble. Jermichael gets hurt. Ouch.
- Jenkings, Mike Neal and Raji got some good pressure and McNabb looked off all game... at least until Clay Matthews got injured. Then the pass-rush disappeared. Go figure.
- Brandon Jackson ran well, and I finally pegged it: He looks and runs like Wicket the Ewok, from the teeth to the scampering, bouncing style of play. Maybe that's a good thing. Or maybe it's like Marshall Falk said a few weeks ago, that he 'runs to darkness'... I think that's a valid criticism, but we do need to run more, especially when Rodgers is stinking it up.
- If Mike McCarthy was an Ewok, he probably wouldn't use his spear or any of his booby-traps, even though they were his best available weapons.
- I put down at least 8 tacos today, so it wasn't a total loss.

That's all I got folks, good-night,
FG

Man down, next man up

2010-10-08T13:26:00.000-06:00

The defense has been hit by a cloud of devastating injuries, with Nick Barnett, Morgan Burnett and and Justin Harrell all lost for the season, on top of Al Harris and Atari Bigby missing at least the first six weeks. Brandon Chillar is basically shot for now, too, nickel corner Sam Shields is on the shelf and Nick Collins is hobbled. Throw in a few other dingers and we are looking pretty weary on the defense after just four weeks. The injury cloud shellacs without mercy, and those left standing must carry that burden forward.

Of course the offense lost Ryan Grant for the year right out of the gates, and both our starting tackles are gimpy, so both sides are roughed up. All of that carries over to the special teams, but that's still no excuse for the pathetic job that unit has done lousin' up the field position.

But this is October and the injuries are piling up for just about every team. It's part of the struggle and the teams with proper depth will endure. Man down, next man up.

Heading to the Nation's Capitol this Sunday to play the Redskins, and I think we'll probably have to put up 35 points to get the road victory. Next man up, sure, but we're going to give up big some points, realistically, with AJ Hawk and Charlie Peprah getting significant minutes. They've got a veteran quarter-back these days, and he'll attack our weak-nesses, that's assured.

Through four weeks we've showed flashes of wonder-ment on the offense, but Rodgers and Company keep hitting rough patches where the production runs into a fili-buster of mistakes, and we really can't have that on Sunday. We've got to win the time of possession battle, and we've got to put up points on just about every drive. The Packers have done a good job in the red zone this season, efficient as cat eating a can of tuna, but they've too often stalled before getting there. And it goes without saying that we can't lose the turnover battle or we'll be stuck like common-sense legislation in the Fat Cat Senate.

Although these wounds have me concerned about our defense, I am excited to finally see Desmond Bishop get his shot. Let's see if he can take that pre-season aggression and apply it to the real world. If nothing else, this wild-cat should solidify our run defense, which will be tested on Sunday. I bet he dials up at least two 'Boom' hits, and one fumble-inducing 'Kapow!'.

OK, folks, it's waaay too nice out there for October so I'm gonna get out in the row-boat with a PBR-picnic. You've been warned, Blue-girls! Ha-cha-cha! Before I go, go ahead and mark it, folks: Packers 38 - Redskins 30. Until next time, then,
FG

Creepy Ted: Organic Farmer

2010-10-06T13:39:00.001-06:00

By now you've heard: Marshawn Lynch was traded, but not to Green Bay, and Randy Moss is back in purple. For many Packers fans, these examples of teams 'upgrading' mid-season for positions of need will stir up under-standable anger towards General Manager Ted Thompson, especially after it was revealed that Creepy Ted was in the running for Lynch, only to be out-bid by his protege, John Schneider.

I'll admit, dear readers, I was hoping they'd bring in 'Beastmode' Lynch, but I understand why they didn't. It's a matter of principle. You don't over-pay for another team's trash.

As for Moss returning to the NFC North, it should be obvious (if it wasn't already) who is running that team from the front office to the huddle: Old-What's-His-Name. The owner-ship needs a new dome stadium, and the acquisition of Moss reeks of an all-or-nothin' gamble. The Vikings have bet the farm on the next 13 games and, they hope, this post-season.

That gamble just might work, but there's a reason the Vikings and other easily-distracted teams always crumble while the Colts and Patriots have been consistently excellent - they don't grow their own talent. Folks seem to think the Patriots are 'giving up on this season' after dealing Moss for draft picks, but I'd bet a bushel of broccoli they do better than the Vikings this year and over the next decade.

Creepy Ted is a big believer in this 'organic farming' philosophy, and as a general rule, I support this system in foot-ball and in life. A tomato grown in the back-yard tastes better, and is better for you, than one bought from your local grocer. And it's cheaper, meaning you can grow a bigger garden and stock the pantry for the long winter.

Continuing with this metaphor, when a team like the Vikings get hungry, there is nothing in the pantry so they take the easy route and pull into the drive-through. What'llya have?, crackles the speaker. I'll take a wide-receiver with extra onions, says the Vikings. Sold.

Fast-food is dis-gusting, dear readers. It may give you a temporary fill-up, but mechanically-rendered 'food' won't sustain your health in the long-run.

I'm willing to push this a bit further, however, to high-light the limits of Creepy Ted's 'build-through-the-draft' model: Let's say your pantry shelf breaks and all your stewed tomatoes jars fall on the floor, break and spoil. You could get through a winter without tomatoes, but I wouldn't want to if I could avoid it. Most folks would go to the grocer and re-stock, but Creepy Ted is an unusually-stubborn sonuvagun. Live for the future, yes, but don't ignore the realities of today, either. It's common-sense, but that example ignores certainly complexities of the NFL business.

Some have said the Packer's failure to nab Lynch and the exciting acquisition of Moss by the hated Vikings mean Creepy Ted and his organic farming methods are on the 'hot seat', but that is pure short-sighted foolish-ness. The Vikings aren't going to win the NFC North, much less a Super-Bowl, and next year they'll be a shell of their former selves. I'm actually happy to see they're going away from the only legitimate weapon they have in Adrian Peterson. Mean-while, the Packers will still be on the front-end of a promising run next fall. Creepy Ted may not chase the big names, but we do have a few big names of our own returning from injury in week six, as noted in this fine article. I've argued before that the running game we have is good enough, and getting Bigby and Harris back will certainly alter the land-scape of the season just as much, if not more, than Marshawn Lynch would have.

Of course January could prove me dead wrong, dear readers. The artificially-produced offering could best the organic produce in a taste-test ever so often, sure, but I wouldn't bet on it. So despite all this hoopla, I'm gonna pop open a can of pear-halves and begin my research on the Packer's week five preview. Until next time, then,
FG

A Certified Hunter

2010-10-03T20:34:00.001-06:00

Looking back on my notes from week four, I am surprised to see most of them are relating to the Packers Defense, since they gave up 26 points to the blasted Lions and I was complaining all four quarters about the lack of a pass rush. I mean come on, folks, that back-up had all day to throw and he did!

Before I give out the praise for a bigger-than-it-should've-been victory, three questions for creepy Puppet-master Dom Capers: What in the heck is up with this lousy three-man rush on third-and-longs? Third and goal from the 21, and no pressure. Touch-down. Boooo. You're giving me the nervous-nesses, Dom! And, do you plan on covering that running-back check-down route any-time soon?

And how about that offense? Gee-whiz. We got out-gained and out-possessed by the De-Troit Lions! Wow. I guess it's hard to put up points when the Worst Kick Returner in the League keeps fumbling, though. Final complaint: We've gotta have a better option that Jordy Nelson. I'm begging you, Mike, sign some-one or just put Tramon back there. Ack.

We were hoping to enjoy a care-free thumping, but it ended up being another nail-biter and an important divisional win that we had to have. You know, I like fritos and sour cream in my chili, but you folks know I'd eat a bowl of chili if the frito-pantry was empty. So we're up to three wins. Pass the hot-sauce. Here's what I liked:

-Clay Matthew continues to impress. Favorite quote of the broad-cast, after CM3 got yet another sack: (Linebacker's coach) "Kevin Greene says he's a certified hunter." Agreed.
-Speaking making plays, rookie Mike Neal forced a fumble with a quick punch move in his first game of the season (Ryan Pickett got the recovery).
-BJ Raji has stayed healthy and made a huge leap in his second year on the defensive line.
-Woodsen deserves mention, as usual, but Tramon is having a great campaign opposite #21. Noted.
-We're not a good running team, obviously, but we ran when we had to at the end. I'll take that, even against the Lions. Third and seven, convert to win, and Kuhn flies to victory. Clapclapclap.
-Even though we couldn't do anything in the second half, Rodger's touch-downs to The Big Cheese and Greg Jennings were both auto-smilers. Jaw-droppers. Reeaaaaal beauties.
-Cullen Jenkins, sporting the Massive Club of Destruction, showed off some fancy moves I recognized from the dancing-clubs back in my younger years. Ha-cha-cha.
Late AD:
-My buddy Silly Deen reminded me of another great call from the game, which I will paraphrase: Open is a relative term for Rodgers. Perfect.

Well it looks like Chicago's poodle-back is concussed and this game is putting me to bed. Hope the Giants knock this entire Bear's team down a notch. Good night, then, dear readers,
FG

Owls hunt when it's nasty out

2010-09-30T11:03:00.000-06:00

Don't worry, folks, I've still got a blasted head-ache from Monday night, and I'm not going to say much more about that dread-ful evening, but lots of fans are making a big stink about the lack of a running game. Lookey-here: That ain't the reason we lost.

And I wouldn't be so quick to say we can't run - it's more that we just didn't try. McCarthy has done this before. There are just certain games where the running attack is - largely - pulled from the plan. Monday night was one of them games. On the few plays they did hand it off, though, the offensive line looked pretty rotten, as did the blocking of our tight-ends. Ryan Grant wouldn't have done much better with that kind of blocking, dear readers. So, yes, it needs work, but the running game is not doomed. I am waaay more skittish about the pass blocking skills of our linemen as of today.

My top three concerns heading into week four are, in order: 1 The Offensive Line, 2 Special Teams, 3 Penalties. Some things, they never'a change!

Even if we never get the running game going, we still have a shot at the Super Bowl. Several teams in recent memory have won or come damned-close with a pass-heavy attack. Does this optimism shock you, reader? Shouldn't an old-timer like me be the one harping about the need for a punishing ground attack? Well, I even surprise myself some-a-times. Some things, they never'a change, but most things do. Take that to the wisdom-bank.

I remember sitting around the camp-fire with Grandpa Union back in the 1800s - these were the days before electricity and fancy internets - and he had this spooky saying that always terrified us little-ones. Gramps would stoke the fire and look up at the stars, and he'd say with approval: "Owl are remarkable creatures. They hunt in the night, and they even hunt when it's nasty out." Maybe the admiration was towards an un-conventional approach, or the beauty of an alpha predator filling its niche in the cycle of life. Or maybe Gramps found inspiration in the tough-ness of it all, or maybe he was just trying to scare us little ones. I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, and maybe he was just being observational, but I read more into that these days.

Here's my take: The owl hunts in the dark, even when it's nasty out, because that's what gives the owl the greatest advantage. And there is beauty in that simplicity, dear readers. Be who you are.

By the time the Bears pay us a visit, I think nature will have the standings better sorted. While the Bears can thank the zebras for two of their three wins, they are still a more formidable team than the Lions, who we welcome this weekend, minus their starting QB and half-back. Sorry, Detroit, but you've got no chance in this one, as the Pack will bounce back with some noticeable swagger.

Tell you rascals what, this is the last day of inland trout season and my favorite stretch of stream is calling out for a visit, so I'm gonna go oblige her. Mark it, folks: Lions 6 - Packers 31.
Until next time, then,
FG

That's Not Legal

2010-09-29T20:02:00.000-06:00

Hey get a load of this sack o' baloney, Dear Readers:
The Packers "set" a franchise record for penalties with 18 of 'em that cost us 152 yards and a handful of big plays that would have changed the game dramatically. The Bears? Five penalties for 38 yards.Angels, I guess.

Look, I'm not gonna make excuses for a horribly sloppy game that certainly included a pile of hiccups, but those refs were paid for by the Chicago Mob. It was as obvious as Jay Cutler's rabid-poodle ancestry! You might make those flag-happy refs piss their little trousers, but you don't scare me, mobsters. Exposed!

Well that was one of the most disgusting games I've ever watched and I don't want to say any-a-thing more than that. Give me a day or two and I'll move ahead to Detroit.
Until then,
FG

Crop circles and muskie-net hands

2010-09-21T21:55:00.001-06:00

I have a crop circle in the back-yard, dear readers. Have I been visited by tiny, big-brained humans from the future? Neh! I have emptied the kiddie pool! You will remember that I thunk it a good idea to set up a ten-footer over the summer. Well, me and Mooney ended up using it quite a bit through mid-July, but then the novelty wore off and we ended up with a giant petri dish - complete with a wide variety of bizarre organisms. Then the Packers started and I just ignored it for a while. Then after we whomped the Bills on Sunday I figured I should finally take care of business.

I swooped down in my flying saucers and said to the people of KiddiePool, "You are all doomed like the Bills of Buffalo! Prepare to die!!!"

By Monday morning the pool was in the pick-it-up truck on it's way to the dump, and I had a crop circle in my yard. I blame this Sunday-after-noon productivity on the Packers kicking the snot out of the Bills, which resulted in a much-lower-than normal stress level for a Game Day.

Game notes
- So I'm pretty sure Jermichael Finley's hands are just two big muskie nets. It's just amazing how effort-less he makes it look. We're all gonna have a lot of fun watching him burn linebackers and and safeties to the ground over the next decade.

- Another youngster that has been impressing me (and us all, I'm sure) is Morgan Burnett. That interception he grabbed in the second quarter was a real whiz-bang of a play.

- Here's a thought on coaches' challenges: Half of them, or more, are stupidly wasted. Come'on, McCarthy - you don't have some-one watching the replay in the booth? Lord almighty! And worst of all, we've gotta watch more commercials while the zebras figure out how to mangle the call further. Hum-bug!

- What can you say? Clay Matthews is heroic.A mechanical Tasmanian devil!

- Mooney's stew deserves a special mention. Wowzie!

- Nick Barnett has also been playing pretty damned good this season, too. The Vampire in the Middle pulled out a new move on Sunday. Did you see it, dear readers? The bow and arrow. He must be a deer-hunter.
:::
Or maybe he's a bear-hunter. Suddenly we find ourselves heading to Chicago for a match-up of un-defeated NFC North Rivals. Say, we better pound the run game a little bit better under the lights. And on defense, we've gotta watch out for the quick passes. I'm guessing the puppet-master, Matthews, Barnett and Woodsen will have a few surprises in store for Dopey-faced Cutler. I think the Bears are a sham 2-and-O, and the Packers defense is gonna control this game as if the Bears where a bunch of amoebas in a kiddie pool.

But when the pool is emptied, and summer gives way to fall and the Professional Football Season, what-ever should an old fellow do with a perfect circle of dead grass - neh, Opportunity! - out back? I have a mind-blowing plan to land-scape in a Packers helmet, using tulips and mosses common and strange.

Well, tell ya what, folks. It's getting mighty late and I've got some rocking-chair time and a good book calling, so let's wrap this up. Mark it, Packers 20 - Bears 6.

Until next time, then.
FG

Toast and Jam

2010-09-19T09:28:00.001-06:00

I've been wandering around in the St. Croix Scenic Riverway for a week, without an internet connection portal, so my apologies for the lack of updates following our wonderful and nerve-wracking victory over the Eagles in week one. A road victory to start the season may be sweet, dear readers, but not nearly so as the fine and pure waters of the Namekagon River! Huzzah!!!

Me and the fellows planned on a two-nighter, but let me tellya, life on the river is something every-one should immerse them-selves in at least once a year. I caught so many damned smallies and red-horse that my hook-set arm is sore. I heard wolves and coyotes around the camp-fire. I drank wine out of a bag (the box was burned on night #2). Any-ways, that trip is in my 'Top Tier' and we had the opportunity to extend the fun so I said, ah heck-with the blog, let's keep going down-stream! So we did.

I'm back now (for the most part) (the river does take a toll, or perhaps my existence is some-how partially stuck in the Jack-pines at this moment).

My soul may be stuck in another time, but here's some quick thoughts on the Eagles win:

Sticking with the sticky theme, my favorite audible of the week came in the third quarter on the John Kuhn run touch-down drive. Mid-field. Aaron Rodgers (paraphrasing): "Sticky... STICKY... STICKY JAM!!!" Result: Perfect laser strike to Jermichael Finley down the right seam. Sticky Jam. Pefect on some of Mooney's home-oven bread.

The Red Masher punted pretty well in his debut. Hell, I owe the whole special teams unit and - especially - poor Jordy Nelson an apology. Jordy actually made a few plays for once. A new chapter, or an abberation? We'll see. For now, I'm bumping the STs up a few notches on the Union Index (>).

Wearing my brand-spankn-new Greg Jennings jersey, I really enjoyed watching that grace-ful touch-down grab to go up by 17! Helped me win my fantasy match-up, too!

Losing General Grant will hurt more than some think, but we'll be OK, I think. Let's see what you've really got, Jackson...

Finally, I never liked that Dog Murderer ever since he gashed us in the playoffs with those blasted legs, but then I found out he's a shit-headed dog murderer, so let's just say I'm not cheering for him any week of the season, or in life. I'm assured Karma will handle this. But I did have some nervous moments in the fourth quarter. They should've just 'contained him' and forced him to throw. Easier said than done, sure, but stop chasing him out of the pocket! Form a fence! Dog Murderer cannot beat you with the arm!

:::

So what about this week? Well, I took the Packers on my parley ticket, so I think that says a lot. The home-opener shouldn't be close, folks. Like a wolf howling in the wilder-ness of north-western Wisconsin, I boldly say: Mark it - Bills 10, Packers 38.

Until next time, then,
FG

Burning the eagle's nest, eating eagle wings

2010-09-08T11:48:00.001-06:00

The Wait Is Over. Almost.

I'm so excited for the start of the regular season that it's taking all of my will power to keep the wings out of the oven today. Long-time readers will know I'm a hot-wing connoisseur, and that I make up a large batch of wings for just about every regular season game. They are a staple of my game-day routine, and game-day treats - be they hot wings or crock-pot-based - are a frequent topic of this blog.
I've already bagged a couple dozen wild eagles with my twelve-gauge* and have their wings all de-feathered and prepped, sitting in the ice-box. The special 'opening day' extra-hot hot sauce (made from a combination of raptoid gizzards and Naga Jolokia puree) is steaming in shed number two and causing the down-wind neighbors to weep profusely. And although I like a dry wing, I must wait, I must be patient. Gotta keep those wings out of the oven until at least Saturday afternoon, timed perfectly for completion at 3 p.m. Wisconsin-standard-time.

While a large portion of the suits have picked the Pack to win it all this year, and with good reason, the team must tackle each game as a season unto itself, dear readers. We can't be looking past anyone like we did with Tampa last year, and we certainly can't count our eagle eggs before they've hatched. But that's kind of pessimistic, dear readers, and there's a better way to look at this approach...

I saw a good quote from Mark Twain on a knick-knack the other day, when me and Mooney stopped for breakfast at a strange diner on the Polish Heritage Highway in the central parts - "Put all your eggs in one basket and then WATCH THAT BASKET!"

I like this line of thinking. It's riskier, it's more aggressive, but still balanced and realistic in a sense. At some point you've gotta feel good with what you've got and unleash it. The team may be young-ish, but the key parts have the maturity to seek great rewards, I think.

You will hear alot over the next few days how the Packers offense will be unstoppable and how Jermichael Finley will draw double-teams, freeing up Greg Jennings and the receiving corps to carve up the deep routes for Ronnie Rodgers. I believe these assessments are fine and accurate, and I look forward to watching the show, no doubt. These are not the eggs that worry me. I believe they'll hatch as expected.

But let's allow the mind to wander a bit and let's assume this team is something special. To me, that kind of confidence will only be obtained once I see the defense ran-sack a few opponents. I want to see them shut down Squeeky Kolb and the rest of Andy Reid's dinky-dunks. That's really the main question-mark this year, ain't it? Can we stop folks when we needta? We should be able to stop the Eagles, even on the road. After weeks of watching the back-ups and the blah packages, I'm looking forward to the Charles Woodsen show, to seeing what The Puppet-Master can do with his second year at the controls. That is the basket I'll really be watching, and that is the basket of gass we'll need to burn the eagle's nest to the ground, along with the rest of the NFL, on the way to lofty heights.

Mark it, folks: Green Bay 33 - Philadelphia 20.
Good luck with your wing sauces, and have a great pre-game weekend!
Until next time, then,
FG

* - False.

FG's 53 | Heavy on the heavy

2010-09-03T12:45:00.001-06:00

I managed to stay awake through the entire pre-season finale, despite the god-aweful tackling, pathetic commentary from the local television guys (yawn) and Ed Hochuli's crew butchering calls once again. With just over a week until the season opener at Philadephia, I figured I'd take a crack at how I'd widdle this roster down to 53 players. I don't expect this is how the roster will look, but I'm going 'heavy on the heavy' - lots of tight ends and fullbacks and big fellas. Since McCarthy was a 'star tight end' in his college days, and since he seems to prefer 'the heavy style' I think this lines up well with his philosophy. The order of presentation doesn't mean any-a-thing. Anyways, here's "FG's 53" - enjoy:

Quarter-backs (2): 1 - Ronnie Rodgers, 2 - Matt Flynn

Half-backs (2): 3 - Ryan Grant, 4 - Brandon Jackson

Full-backs (3): 5 - John Kuhn, 6 - Korey Hall, 7 - Quinn Johnson

Tight-ends (5): 8 - Jermichael Finley, 9 - Donald Lee, 10 - Spencer Havner, 11 - Andrew Quarless, 12 - Tom Crabtree

Wide-receivers (4): 13 - Greg Jennings, 14 - Donald Driver, 15 - James Jones, 16 - Jordy Nelson

Offensive Linemen (9): 17 - Chad Clifton, 18 - Daryn Colledge, 19 - Scott Wells, 20 - Josh Sitton, 21 - Mark Tauscher, 22 - Bryan Bulaga, 23 - TJ Lang, 24 - Evan Dietrich-Smith, 25 - Marshall Newhouse

Specialists (4): 26 - Mason Crosby, 27 - Tim "The Red Masher" Masthay, 28 - Brett Goode, 29 - (Yet-to-be-signed Kick Return Speedster)

Defensive Line (6): 30 - Cullen Jenkins, 31 - Ryan Pickett, 32 - BJ Raji, 33 - Mike Neal, 34 - Justin "Last Chance" Harrell, 35 - Anthony Toribio

Line-backers (9): 36 - Clay Matthews, 37 - Nick Barnett, 38 - Desmond Bishop, 39 - Brandon Chillar, 40 - Brad Jones, 41 - AJ Hawk, 42 - Cyril Obiozor, 43 - Frank Zombo, 44 - Robert Francois

Corner-backs (5): 45 - Charles Woodsen, 46 - Tramon Williams, 47 - Sam Shields, 48 - Brandon Underwood, 49 - Jarrett Bush

Safeties (4): 50 - Nick Collins, 51 - Morgan Burnett, 52 - Derrick Martin, 53 - Charlie Peprah

Odd men out: Kregg Lumpkin, Jarius Wynn
Notable absenses: Jason Spitz, Brady Poppinga

As you can see, I didn't dabble in possible trade-baitery or practice squad tom-foolery. Pretty much my only odd-ball selection is penciling in a 'yet-to-be-signed' kick returner. We need one, folks. Chery was a bust and if I have to watch any more patented Jordy Nelson 10-yard "stumble returns" I will puke up my PBR. Now, I will note that other trades or pick-ups may happen, specifically at safety, where we are thin, but I left that kick return slot open because we just don't have anyone on the current roster who could actually fill this 'theoretical' role. Aside from that 'anomaly' all I care about is the 53-man A-Team. This is the team that will take us back to the Super-Bowl glories. Hope ya'll have a lovely Labor Day holiday. Until next time, FG

Gruden is a treat in the booth

2010-08-31T09:44:00.000-06:00

Watched the Colts game over at Cousin Walter's place, on his fancy highly-defined television set, which was marvelous as wolfin' down a ham sandwhich with waay too much horse-radish sauce on a hot August day. Yes folks, Horse-brains and Hi-Def are two of my favorite sensory over-loads.

Another is listening to Jon Gruden providing color commentary in the 'Monday Night Football' booth (Now on Thursdays!). Some of my favorite Grudenisms from August 26: "The Amoeba Defense" - Calling General Ryan Grant "Dorsey Levens" - calling Lambeau Field the "Cathedral of Sport" - and his ultimate brain-freezer: "Every day is a crisis to get better."

Gruden started at the top of Holmgren's stairs, coaching in the 'Cathedral of Sport'

How many of you treat every day "as a crisis to get better?" I try to, but some-days it's very tough. Maybe if I had been more committed to improvement I would have brought the 'Union Guns' to a higher level of the game I love, in my younger years. It's something to think about, at least.

Here's some other things I jotted down in my note-book during the game:

• Bob Sanders is dirty, and it's no wonder he's always busted up.

• Burnett 'stole one from the General' and he should'a had another pick earlier, but that kid is looking fast like an owl in the woods.

• Welcome to the NFL stage, Referee Clete Blakeman. Nice name.

• Please take Jordy Nelson off Kick Returns Duty! Please. I'm begging you, coaching staff.

• Glad they're giving Speedy Chery a chance - that kid looks like a return specialist.

• Great Lambeau Sign spotted: "Rodger that!"

• We need more crushers like Francois. Ask Addai if he's a mean sonuvabitch.

• Even I can tell you are running the QB sneak without my spectacles if you squeeze the i-formation in tight like that. Jeeper creepers!

• Spotted: Creepy Ted and Ron Wolf sharing a luxury box. Probably conversation: Hey Creepy Ted, you know what might help yous? What's that, Ron? Getting a kick returner who has a chance to break one from time to time.

• Great power running trio: Quinn Johnson, Crabtree and Lumpkin. Would love to see all three make the team.

• Lumpkin: You might make the team, but quit doing the Broncos salute ya knuckle-head!

Another Thursday nighter to end the pre-season. I'm ready folks. I've even got Greg Jennings on my fantasy team this season. Whup Whup! Caaa-yoooga! Until next time, then,

Tonight's results matter

2010-08-26T11:36:00.001-06:00

So far as pre-season football goes, the first half of the third game is typically the only action I'll give a hoot about. With Peyton Manning and the Colts coming to Lambeau Field tonight, the results do matter. What better test for a leaky secondary than facing one of the most prolific passing attacks in the NFL?

Whereas Dom Capers blitzed like a lunatic during the 2009 pre-season, the old puppet-master has kept his schemes pretty bland in 2010 - at least through two games. And it's showed. The pass rush has been pretty weak so far, but we should see some more exotic potions from the first unit tonight, despite the absence of several key starters. It will have to be a sweet mixture or seeing how players handle the blitzing assignments while hiding their best schemes from the video record. Deception of our regular season foes will remain a priority for Coach Capers, so I'm not so much concerned with the pass rush as I am with the pass coverage, with reactions forced rather than withheld. Dom's reactions to a variety of attacks are already on tape, and against good QBs like Manning, the results haven't been good.

Former Packer Matt Bowen has a good article up at National Football Post today describing the challenges our defensive backs will face tonight, and throughout the regular season, against seasoned passers. Simply put, our younger defensive backs will need to step up their consistency in 2010, being assignment-sure in coverage without giving away pre-snap clues to the opponent. As Bowen writes, "Watch Manning tonight when the Colts come to the line of scrimmage. He will force the SS to come out of his disguise at the line of scrimmage... (so he) knows what you are playing."

While rookie strong safety Morgan Burnett has all the physical tools to thrive in this league, it will be these mental challenges of the game that will determine his ultimate success, and in turn, that of our pass defense. Same goes for youngsters like Brandon Underwood and Pat Lee, who will certainly factor into the nickel package, especially early in the year while Al Harris recovers.

:::

Whoa, baby, enough with the serious-talk, FG, this is just pre-season, afterall... Sure, sure ya knuckleheads, I suppose you're right. How about a joke to lighten the mood? Who knows where this originated, but my buddy Charlie Chinwhiskers sent this over by pony express, and I nearly spooked the pony when I read the punch-line!

Here it goes: I met a fairy today in my garden that granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that." "Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Vikings win the Super-Bowl!" The fairy grimaced and sighed. "You got me you crafty bastard," said the fairy.

Oh dear, folks, it's funny 'cause it's true! Tell you friends, or your favorite Disciple of Old Whats His Name. Tell 'em you dreamt it up. I don't care.

:::

Finally, while I'm on the topic of rivalries, I read that Tom Brady said he wouldn't watch the 'Hard Knocks' program on the Home Box Office channel, since it features the New York Jets this season. The reason? "I hate the Jets," said Brady. Exactly. Well said, sir.

Alright, I gotta go mow the lawn and get down to the store for some cold PBRs before the game starts. Until next time, then,
FG

Bulaga and the Quinns

2010-08-16T11:28:00.000-06:00

Celebrated the first Packers game of the 2010 pre-season by setting up the television set out on the back patio, firing up my new 'bug machine' and cracking a few ice-cold PBRs. As I've noted several times, I don't really care much about the pre-season. So long as nobody gets injured (Ryan Grant gave me a scare right off the bat) and we don't go to over-time, I'm a happy camper.

So yeah, there are plenty of places where you can read all about the meta-details of the loss to the lowly Browns of Cleveland, but you won't find that here. During the actual season I keep detailed notes during the game, but in pre-season I simply keep a loose collection of 'highlights' in the brain, and here is what stood out for me, aside from the obvious:

• Much as I like the idea of having first-round pic Bryan Bulaga train primarily as a back-up at tackle, he has the talent to help right away at guard, and he needs to be on the field when we open the season in Philadelphia. I wanna see more of this big boy. Start your best five, Mike, and shuffle as needed down the road.

• Quinn Porter may not make the team, and he won't make the team as a kick returner, but I really enjoyed his energy during the second half out of the back-field. He's got burst and shifty-ness, and he also has a great celebration that I'm sure you all noticed: After a few of his better runs, Porter leapt to his feet and then appeared to shovel multiple spoon-fuls of invisible food into his mouth. What was in this invisible bowl is certainly open to interpretation - probably a warm bowl of oatmeal, or maybe cereal - but I'd like to think he was wolfin' down a massive pile of Mac-n-Cheese. Whatever's for din-din, I like the style and I'll be cheering for this kid throughout the pre-season.

• Quinn Johnson actually made a bone-crushing tackle on special teams, and he probably has a better chance to make the team than the aforementioned Quinn, but what really impressed me was some of the lead blocks this bang-tail leveled on the opposition on Saturday night. There were a few in particular where I let out an involuntary 'whoop!' at the point of impact, and/or lurched in my chair as if I'd just taken on that lead block. It takes a special kind of power to transfer through the television set like that. I'm guessing we won't keep three full-backs this season, and we'll probably trade Kuhn or Hall in order to keep this big battering-ram. Simply put, he is going to open some holes and probably break a few opposing line-backers to bits this season, given the chance.

• I've always wanted to start a blue-grass band called 'Pancake and the Syrups'... I like to sing and dance, but it would help if I could play an instrument. Bulaga and the Quinns is an equally-fun band name, and equally unlikely to ever see the cover of an album.

• Finally, the special teams continue to look like a pile of cat turds. Sure, our punters look a lot better than last year, but the return game was pathetic on Saturday.

Until next time, then,
FG

"Finley our year," and hecklin' third-stringers

2010-08-11T17:15:00.000-06:00

I finally got around to watching the family night scrimmage on my VCR the other night, and I gotta thank Cousin Walter for taping it. Much as I was looking forward to the scrimmage, the trout were biting and I couldn't bring myself in from the stream. And while it was nice to see the Pack in live action on the television set again, this preseason none-sense just makes me nuttier for the season opener.

The highlight of the night was obviously Jermichael Finley's dominating performance, capped with a nice touch-down and a Lambeau Leap - hopefully this is a sign of things to come in 2010. I tell you, dear readers, 88 looks like an unstoppable force out there, and the connection with Ronnie Rodgers is strong as a swift current chasing gravity down-hill. I might have to jump the gun and take both of these bang-tails in my fantasy football league a few spots 'too early', although that's easier said than done - everyone else in the league is Packers fans, too!

I keep thinking that this is 'Finley our Year', and I hope saying that catches on. Tell your friends. Maybe I'll get some bumper stickers made up. Yep, Finley our Year to win it all, folks. Pass it on.

So how are you going to welcome Coach Holmgren back to Lambeau on Saturday? I think I might cook up a walrus roast, with a spicy glaze. Nah, I've got nothing against the old coach or the Browns for that matter. Probably will just do a cook-out and have a few PBRs, and practice an old Union-family pre-season tradition started by my uncles a-way back when: Heckling the third-stringers on both teams. Any-time one of them rookies louses up we take a sip of PBR and say "That's it, buddy, you're CUT!" Then we laugh til the cats run up the walls. It's great fun. Or else we slap our knee and say, "Rookie, now WHAT in the HELL where you thinking?" Or: "Go back where you came from ya KNUCKLE-HEAD!" Or maybe you just give a little toot when someone drops an easy catch. Hilarious.

As you can see, folks, I don't take the pre-season very seriously. And that's good. The regular season ain't good for my old heart. The stress demons stay away until September, and that's fine with me. So long as Jermichael or the starters stay healthy, I'm a happy old fellow. And in the morning, it'll be time to put on the waders and go for a stroll in an ice-cold stream, looking for some brookies and relief from this mean ol' sun.

Until next time, then, stay cool,
FG

High Expectations in Packerland

2010-07-30T12:14:00.000-06:00

All the draft picks and free agents have signed their contracts, and with training camp just around the corner and the gladiolas unfurling their magnificent flowers at the Union Homestead, summer-time stumbles on its last weary legs – the expectations for the 2010 campaign are the same throughout Packerland: Super Bowl or Bust!

It's been quite a while since I've sensed this unified level of anticipation, dear readers. We in the north are careful about excitement. We all know the awful darkness of winter is coming, oh yes, that summer won't last forever, so it's hard for us in Packerland to be overly optimistic, let alone share those lofty thoughts with our neighbors. But here and there we do. You can feel it in the air this summer. The tomato plants are big as barrels and you can't help but to peck at the roster and grin like a goose in a pond. Sure, I think the the Packers are gonna win every Sunday, and I always hope they'll win it all, but most Augusts I think in the back of my mind: Yeah, but the snow's a-comin, FG, and there's this weakness and that, and my goodness, let's be realistic. Let's stock that pantry fuller than full and put up the storm windows early, let's chop extra hard-woods, it's gonna be a nasty one this winter, better stock up on wool socks.

But not this August. Might as well make a rockin-chair outta my best shovel. The sun shines bright on us here in Packerland. The gladiolas will last all the way into October and I won't even have to mulch them bulbs.

My long-time readers will know I'm a believer in the omen-world. It's not just the young talent on the roster and the barometer going in the right direction, folks. The omens are all speaking to success for us this year.

Everything, and I mean Ever-E-Thing, is a Hum-dinger lately!

Example A: My buddy Chinwhisker Charles caught the biggest damned Northern Pike I've ever seen on our annual Canadian fishing trip this summer. I was there to net it and gawk at it's massive melon, take some pictures and then watch it swim away with a mighty coil and pulse of it's enormous tail.

Example B: Different boat, different lake, different month. Another guy I know catches his personal best muskie. Catches it on the exact same lure - same flavor even!* Biggest muskie I've ever seen caught, and I was there to net it and gawk at it's massive gut, take some pictures and watch it chug back to the depths.

And both fish spoke to me in perfect English: The Packers will win it all, FG!**

Hum-Dingers! What do you call that? It's beyond dumb luck, dear readers, and I do know a thing or three about dumb luck. And it's only been the tip of the omen-ice-berg this summer.

You'll notice I haven't really gotten into specifics regarding the team. Well no shit, Sherlock.*** Training camp hasn't even begun yet, let alone pre-season. I'm not gonna just make stuff up. There are plenty of speculators out there on the tubes if you want a big pile of baloney fed to you on a ghost platter. All I know is the general out-look is lookin pretty damned good, and what more can you say on a humid August day? Nothing much, if you're honest about it.

But I do appreciate you stopping by. It may not pay the bills but even when there's nothing much to talk about I still like to yap and yap about the Packers. Real soon here we'll have some-thing of substance on the plate and the sooner still we'll be looking at September and - whoa baby - then it'll be time for some real hum-dingers! Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am.

Keep your'selves cool, dear readers, and keep looking for them omens.
Until next time, then,
FG

* - No, I will not reveal the lure, you nosy sonuvaguns!
** - OK, I made that last part up. The fish were speaking Escoid, of course.
*** - My apologies for the profanity. My blood got riled for a moment.

Off-Season Treasure: Inside the playbook

2010-07-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

Besides my lovely wife Mooney and my family, there are two things I am truly passionate about: The Packers and fishing. And while I may know a great deal about both subjects, I also know that I am not expert on either. There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance, dear readers, and wisdom teaches one to acknowledge this.

This venture of mine started as an old-fashioned newspaper column, and has transformed over the past few years into a digital blog, but the focus has never been on the Xs and Os. I may have been good at football in my younger years, and I probably understand the game on a different level that most through shear volumes of experience (I am well into my second century!), but I've never played in the NFL. My strength is simplicity, story-telling and, occasionally, humor (well, I laugh at my jokes from time to time). More than any-thing, I enjoy this 'work' as a hobby. Maybe some-day I'll turn it into a book or some-thing. I appreciate that people take time out of their busy days to read my stuff, so I do my best to give those readers a product they can't find any-where else. Honestly, folks, how many senior-citizen Packers bloggers are there? I think I've got that market pretty-damned-well cornered.

The point is, I know what I am. Like all bloggers or columnists, I am merely a filter for this strange world. In goes data, out come thoughts. This post is about sources I trust. In other words, as the off-season drags on through summer I've got a great source I want to share with all of you: Matt Bowen's "Inside the Playbook" series at National Football Post. No matter how many hours of the day you spend researching and reading about the Packers, I guarantee you can learn a thing or two from Mr. Bowen's excellent work on NFL play-book concepts.

The article that really got my attention and got me diggin' into this bang-tail resource featured the long Rodgers-to-Jennings touch-down against the Steelers last season. Bowen used this play as a premium example of breaking down 2-man coverage. He begins by diagramming the offensive and defensive sets and basic concepts, and then uses live video to illustrate those concepts in motion. On this particular play, the result was nothing short of beautiful.

There are very few sources of this intense quality available to dedicated NFL fans, dear readers, especially during the off-season. If you are interested in understanding the game better, I highly recommend you pay NFP a visit.

Until next time, then,
FG

:::

Editor's note: Me and cousin Walter and Ike and a hand-ful of other characters will be heading up to Canada next week for the annual Meat Packers Union Fishing Retreat, so the website will be quiet until later this month. Until our return, stay cool and stay on the windy side! -FG

Guaranteed Packers Super Bowl Victory

2010-07-01T13:13:00.000-06:00

Lots of 'experts' are predicting a big season for the Pack, some are predicting the ultimate prize, even. But here's what I am offering today: An irrefutable Super Bowl guarantee. We will win the Super Bowl next January. This is not some lofty prediction. This isn't some hunch I came up with after burning my own blood in a golden dish while chanting devious hand-me-down spells in rough Latin. This statement is as rock solid as the fact that I will catch the biggest pike on our upcoming Canadian fishing trip. But, before I explain myself further, let us first discuss the only topic stranger than science fiction: Science.

My grand-son Ike sent me a link to a story this morning: 11 of the Craziest Things About the Universe. And CRAAAAZY they are.

Here is my favorite crazy thing: The entire volume of the human race could fit in a single sugar-cube! Now, I don't use a lot of sugar cubes. I'm not a horse or a pony. I don't drink tea. But I know a sugar cube is small. Well, how in-the-hell does that work then? Simple. Matter, says author Marcus Chown, is "incredibly, mind-bogglingly empty." Think of the Metro-dome during one of their rare playoff games - lots of empty chairs. Take away the fake crowd noise and the 'air' and you've got very little left. The Metro-dome is a disgusting facade, as is the atom, from which life is built. Squish the emptiness from the atom, which is "99.999999999999999 percent empty space" and you are left with a very-dense sugar cube floating through the vacuum of space! Think about it. That's almost as creepy as Creepy Ted's haunting stare!

Here's another doozy: "Only four percent of the mass of the Universe is in the atoms that make up you and me, the stars and the planets." So, we are essentially nothing in the grand scheme of 'things', and that little sugar-cube of nothing-ness is only a small slice of 'everything'... You might want to take a break and drink a cold PBR before trying to really comprehend that. Your brains might melt otherwise.

So if measurable mass, including us and Wisconsin and Lambeau Field only make up four percent of the known Universe, what is the rest? Well, dark matter makes up 23 percent, and dark energy is 73 percent. The image above is supposedly what dark matter looks like on the dark-matter-scope.

Creepy, yes. But I like it. I am drawn to it (by a mysterious force, perhaps?)... Good God, dear readers. This whole damned blog might be constructed of dark-energy thoughts! If so, we're all probably doomed! Or maybe, we're blessed! Or maybe I didn't take my medicine this morning!

So I flipped through 11 of these little tid-bits of madness, and the last one scrambled my brains, even though it's something I've heard before. According to Quantum Theory, there are probably infinite versions of this universe floating around inside a massive invisible block of bizarre universe-containing cheese, that is also infinite and expanding. Or something like that. Thus, there are infinite number of humanity sugar-cubes, and infinite Lambeau Fields, and infinite FG Unions blogging about quantum theory. And in one of these universes, no matter what happens in this 'reality', the Packers WILL win the Super Bowl next January. Hell, in some wonderful reality I have season tickets and front row seats for that Super Bowl!

Yeah yeah yeah, dear readers, I know, I know... So what, right? We're all stuck in this 'reality', so go take your dark energy cheese talk and go up to Canada already and leave us alone, right? Sure, I guess. But it's still fun to think about. Now get the hell off my lawn, you rascals! I've gotta head down to my basement labratory to vaporize some cheese while wearing 4-Dimension Goggles!

Until next time, then,
FG

Tossing the football in a lake

2010-06-28T14:05:00.000-06:00

Enough with the soccer until 2014, dear readers. I can't respect a sport - or take it seriously - when there is a reward for faking an injury and acting like you just got shot with a taser. And don't get me started about their refs. FIFA refs make NFL refs look like geniuses.

So we say good-bye to South Africa and return to the lakes of Wisconsin on a hot and sunny summer afternoon, 'cause a kiddle pool just can't satisfy all of your summer-time aquatic recreational needs.

There on the sand is the blanket Mooney laid out, and a cooler of ice-cold PBRs, and here in the lake I stand with an American pig-skinned football splashing around: The Oldest Kid in North America. I can't hustle and dive on the field like I used to back when we won the state championship in 1858, but here in the lake an old fellow like me can still lay out for the touch-down grab. Mooney or Cousin Walter see me open in the end-zone and they hurl a wobbling duck over the defender, and I leap up and grab it like Jermichael Finley, and then I spike it and stare down the Vikings defenders in the shallows, who turn out to be little kids.

Imagination is a great asset during the off-season.

On the lake-field, there is no danger of rolling an ankle or snapping a hip-bone, folks. Just the threat of the dreaded water-up-da-nose, or stepping on a sharp stone, and probably, a case of the burnt lobster shoulders. Or you might lose your sun-glasses on a really wicked dive.

Or maybe you're on a lake with too many FIBs and you get the swimmer itch, which was brought up here by the FIBs in the 50s. The parasitic itchin'-worms are drawn to mini-golf courses and fudge shops and pleasure-boaters, so it's sort of a mutually-beneficial thing betwixt the FIBs and the itch. You can look it up! Jay Cutler was actually raised by a clan of swimmer-itch worms, making him the perfect fit for Chicago. That's why he has such a stupid and painful look stuck on his ugly face all the time. It's a product of his up-bringing by aquatic bird parasites. You can look it up!

Yes, imagination is a great asset during the off-season, and so are cold swimming lakes. And both of those are products of my up-bringing in the Great State of Wisconsin. Enjoy the rest of summer-time, dear readers. Toss the football around. And lay off the chaco-tacos!

Until next time, then,
FG

Thoughts from the Kiddie Pool: I wish there was a Packers game tonight

2010-06-17T10:35:00.002-06:00

Check out the mural I painted on my garage door! I kid, I kid... Mooney would poison me. Besides, neither of them really look like us (we are far more attractive!). And we don't live on the river (schucks!) But it's a funny picture any-ways, right? I spit my PBR out my nosey-holes when Ike showed it to me. For today's column, it fits the bill, dear readers.

The projected high temp today is in the 80s with sticky humidity and abundant sunshine, and so naturally I will make my way to the kiddie pool in the back-yard like a hippopotamus seeking a cool waterin'-hole. My summer-time kiddie pool setup is pretty simple: Ten feet across, 36 inches deep. Keep cold refreshments and a good book within arm's reach, and make sure the grill gets lit before dark. No running! No yelling! And for Pete'ssake, no diving! I would also note that kiddie pool technology has come a long, long way since the 1840s.

This, dear readers, is about as good as a summer afternoon can get. Or is it?

I've been watching this World Cup garbage for a week now, and while I enjoyed our 1-1 'win' over the British Polluters last weekend, I must say I am not very impressed so far. What in the hell is wrong with soccer players? They fall over and start crying anytime someone touches them! Waaaaaa! Getting kicked in the ankle mus'n't feel good, but quit acting like you just had your leg bones removed with a dull spoon, get up, and try scoring more than one goal in 90 minutes, you big goofy-lookin' hippy-babbies. For cryin' out loud... To an extent, it's like watching a Packers game in which every player is Martin Gramatica. There would be no first downs, 'cause everyone would fall down the moment someone else touched them. There would be lots of crying and stretchers on the field to collect the 'wounded'... Yawn. And probably a lot more penalties. You get my point. The NFL remains King.

I'm not giving up on soccer or the World Cup just yet, because there are some good parts, like the vuvuzelas. Hell, I saw a dude with a tuba in the crowd! Not saying I'd want the 'swarm of bees' sound coming to Lambeau, but I do like the idea of bringing musical instruments to a game. I think I'll bring my harmonica next time we get tickets. A train is a-comin' down the tracks! Chooo, chooooooo. Huzzah!

Any-hows, the point is this: Summer-time is wonderful, but it would be so much better if there was a Packers game tonight! I would definitely drag the television set out on the patio if there was. I'd wear nothing but my Ronnie Rodgers jersey in the pool. Well, out of respect for my guests, I guess I'd wear an old #4 jersey upside down as a rough diaper (see, there is still some use for those).

I know, I know, we're only a few months away from pre-season football, and only a few weeks if you take the Canadian Fishing Trip time off the calendar, but I just want to see an actual tackle, as opposed to these silly little 'slide tackles'. And I suppose I could always have Cousin Walter come over and set up the video-tape-machine and pop in some footage from the MPU archives, but it's not the same when you know the outcome. I may be older than the concept of the kiddie pool, but my memory is sharp as a tack, folks.

This is the story of the off-season. It could be worse. Hope you all are coping well and finding watering holes of your own to dwell in until the heated-months pass. Until next time, then,
FG

Futbol fever

2010-06-11T13:20:00.000-06:00

The World Cup starts today, and although International futbol will never reach American football's place in my heart, I am looking forward to cheering on Team USA over the next month as they hopefully play beyond the group stage on the world's grandest sporting stage.

I've even convinced cousin Walter to watch with me, which is good since he's the only one with the cabled television service. Seems only a few matches will be available on the rabbit-ear-system.

The big match, of course, is on Saturday versus the English, who take futbol very very seriously, probably as seriously as I take the Packers, only with a silly accent. I'm told that this is the year to take out those limey tea-drinkers, so I'll predict a 2-nil victory for the yankees over in Africa tomorrow. And if we don't win? I guess I'll boil up a piece of rotten meat and have me some British soup for din-din. Deal, mates? Deal.

Now let's see some goals!!!
Until next time, then,
FG

A metaphor of our times

2010-06-04T10:29:00.000-06:00

There isn't much going on with the Packers, at least nothing very important compared with the usual sad news of the day. What can you say? "Oh gee, them OTAs and that Mike McCarthy press conference were so darn interesting I nearly pooped!" Get real, folks. Nothing to see here...

I read quite a bit - about the Packers, fishing, earth, and books on this and that - and one of my favorite authors out there today is Garrison Keillor. His weekly column is a true gem. Garrison may be a Minnesotan and he may dabble in politics too often, but he's also got a great command of the language, and I like his tempo. He's an influence on my work, no doubt – A true American Treasure. His column this week was 100 times better than anything I read about the Packers, and it started with this paragraph, which I'd like to share:

"I flew home from Washington Monday night, looking at live pictures on the BP website taken by an underwater robot of the greasy waters of the Gulf, and how's that for a Metaphor of Our Times? Aboard a Delta Airbus at 37,000 feet maneuvering around giant thunderheads, connected to the Internet via satellite, looking at dark gloop a mile below the sea, contemplating the death of a beautiful body of water, unable to think of a single sensible thing to do or say about this that would make a milligram of difference, and yet here I sit with a clear view of the situation, like a passenger in a car skidding slowly into the median."

You can read the full post here, and you can check out his archives at The Old Scout.
Have a great weekend folks, I'm off to the river,
FG

Memorial Day 2010

2010-05-28T13:04:00.001-06:00

Let us all take a quiet moment over this holiday weekend to remember and honor the veterans, whom deserve our most appreciative thanks. -FG

Keeping up with the times

2010-05-14T14:21:00.000-06:00

Hey folks, how ya been? Sure is beautiful out there today, and all the more-so now that me and Mooney got a new grill on the deck! There aren't many dining options better than searing a fine slab of meat over hot coals, and my new toy will ensure plenty of those over these summer-time months.

I'm not a paid spokesman for Weber Grills, but I should be, because I'll be telling everyone I know about this contraption! It's called the 'Performer' and it features a nifty turbo propane charcoal ignition system... Basically, you get all the wonders and fine flavors of a charcoal grill without the hassle of waiting for the charcoals to heat up. It's fan-tastic!

You've got to keep up with the times, dear readers, even if you're 180 years old like me. You've got to keep an open mind, and you've got to be willing to try new things and think in new ways. While I started this column in the old-fashioned print newspapers, I have, with much help from my grand-son Ike, now transitioned to the world-wide-web as my primary out-let. Digital media is the future, folks, (even an old-timer like me can see it) and much like this website allows me to reach more people with the same core product, my new hybrid grill allows me greater flexibility without sacrifice.

I read a story on the Journal Sentinel's website this week that goes along these lines. The article outlined the significant differences in the team-building approaches of Creepy Ted and Ron Wolf, and included several stubborn comments from former players under the Wolf-regime, concerning Creepy Ted's approach and his (relative) lack of ultimate success (so far).

Of course Creepy Ted does things his own way, and of course he doesn't utilize free agency as much as Ron Wolf did, specifically in the years leading up to those two Super Bowl appearances in '97 and '98. But is that a bad thing? Some former players think it is. I am not persuaded, just as I am not foolish enough to believe print news will prosper over the long-term-haul. History is a useful tool, but there's a reason you don't hear me talking about the 'olden times' on this blog even though I've got barrels of stories in the old brain. The past is the past. What happened, happened. I am interested primarily, however, in the modern times, no matter how strange they may appear.

Sure, Wolf had a good run but that way of doing things is no longer valid, even just 15 years later. Comparisons sure are easy, but they're rarely worth much when time gets in the middle, dear readers. The US is different, the NFL is different, and the Packers are different. I'm different! I'm certainly more hand-some! And that's great. You may not appreciate Creepy Ted's methods, but look at the most successful franchises of the modern times, and you see he operates closer to those philosophies than Mr. Wolf's, and I think that is a good thing.

Enjoy the great weather this weekend, and keep those minds open.
Until next time, then,
FG

Zombo, Shepard and Shields

2010-04-28T17:13:00.000-06:00

Zombo, Shepard and Shields - Who in the heck are these guys?
They happen to be undrafted free agents the Packers signed in the last week.
Zombo is an outside linebacker, Shepard is a QB, and Shields is a special teams specialist.
Will any of them make the team?
Who knows...
Want to learn a little more about them before training camp? Of course you do.
JS Online has a full profile of each of these guys, along with information on each and every free agent rookie we've signed since the draft. Enjoy.
- Ike

Spring project: Fixing a leaky boat

2010-04-28T13:04:00.000-06:00

I was out chasing blue-gills last weekend during the NFL draft. Here in Wisconsin, you can't fish for anything but panfish until May, and that's a good-enough excuse for this old columnist to get the boat out of the shed for a few hours.

Well, the boat developed a leak - or several leaks - over the course of the winter. I spent half my time bailing, a quarter of the time casting my gear into trees, and the other quarter messing with the anchor rope and trolling motor. I was a bit rusty dear readers. That was Saturday.

On Sunday I got some J-B weld at the neighborhood hard-ware store and got to work cleaning and sealing the old row-boat. While I was at it, I installed new anchor-line cleats, too! I was a regular Mister Fix-it! The final layers of leak-fix are currently drying out in the sun, and next time I take the boat out my toes will be as dry as a chunk of aged bon-fire log.

Fixing up and cleaning the boat is a great spring-time project. It's even more fun with a can of PBR in hand. The same goes for the NFL draft. The line and the defensive secondary may have been a bit dinged up after that last run through the rapids, and hopefully picks like Bulaga and Mike Neal and Morgan Burnett will provide the weld the team needs at those positions.

I already wrote about Bulaga over the weekend, and I really like the pick. Kid looks like he feeds on nothing but steak and syrup! I also like the Mike Neal pick the more I read about him. Plus, he's got two first names, and we all know that's good stuff. Then there's Burnett, who we traded up to grab. He's got ball-hawking skills and will certainly push Atari Bigby even if he does stay healthy.

Something's messing with my tomatoes so I better go re-load the BB gun and skee-daddle, folks. If you are so lucky as to be fishing in Wisconsin this opening weekend, best of luck to you in your search for mighty lunkers! And here's to a leak-free boating experience (biiig sip of PBR)!

Until next time, then,
FG

Buuuuuullaaaaaga!!!!!

2010-04-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

This team isn't gonna do jack-diddly without Ronnie Rodgers at Quarter-back, so I was really glad to see Creepy Ted grab Bryan Bulaga, a big pale whale of a farm-boy from Iowa, to protect Rodgers' blind-side for the next decade. Pretty much every-thing I said about OT Charlie Brown from USC applies to Bulaga, except Bulaga is even more polished. He's ready to contribute on day one, either as a back-up for the perpetually-hurt Chad Clifton or as a starter if needed. I would have predicted him as the tackle to grab had I thought he'd make it to pick #23, and I am frankly shocked that he did fall to us.

Any-how, welcome to the Packers, Big Fella! Shoot me an email or twitter Ike and we'll go muskie fishing some-time!

Now let's grab Dexter McCluster with the 56th pick!

Until next time, then,
FG

FG's Draft Room

2010-04-21T20:18:00.000-06:00

Well I am excited for the first 'Prime Time' draft, as they say.
While I try and avoid getting too caught up in the mock-drafting-hoopla, I must, as a Packers fan, give the draft a bit more weight. So long as Creepy Ted is in charge, this is where we must build the team, and we have more invested in these selections. I like to focus more on the actual picks once they're made, so we have some-thing real to discuss, but that doesn't mean we can have some fun and make a few predictions in the mean-time. This year, with the 23rd pick, I am a bit split, so I've just gone ahead and made a Plan A and Plan B prediction, one for each side of the ball. And I've also focused on two other players I'd like to see as later-round selections, here and here. Enjoy, dear readers, and stop back during and after the draft often for updated reaction, poetry, and additional tid-bits and this-n-thats, and draft-day cocktails all week-end long! One final thing, my grandson Ike has been doing a nice job with the Twitter, or at least that's what he tells me, and you can make sure to get links to new draft stuff on MPU and other relevant Packer and draft tweets by following him, here. -FG

Prediction: And with the 23rd pick...

2010-04-21T19:56:00.000-06:00

... The Green Bay Packers select:
Charles Brown, Offensive Left Tackle of the Future, USC.
(Wild Applause)
Creepy Ted Thompson grins sinisterly.

Well I've talked about a few players in the last week or so, a few good kids that might make the Green Bay Packers a better team in 2010. If this tremendous monster of a tackle is selected as the personal body guard of Ronnie Rodgers for the next decade, I'll be pleased as punch.

Let's face it, folks. Rodgers is the player that will lead this team to playoff victories, and maybe one day a Superr Bowl, and he can't do that if he keeps getting hit like he did in 2009. I'd say more, but what's the point. It's as simple as that. Welcome to the team, Charles. Shoot me an email and we'll go out muskie fishing some-time.

Until next time,
FG

Backup Prediction: And with the 23rd pick...

2010-04-21T19:37:00.021-06:00

... The Green Bay Packers select:
Sergio Kindle, Demon Pass Rushing Skull Crusher Thunder Thumpin' Outside LB, Texas
(Wild Applause)
Creepy Ted Thompson grins sinisterly.

Well I've talked about a few players in the last week or so, a few good kids that might make the Green Bay Packers a better team in 2010. If we grab this maniac to give our defense an legitimate pass rushing weapon opposite CM3, that might just be the thing that improves our pass defense the most in 2010.

The kid is versatile, a bit crazy, I'm told, and would remain a versatile weapon for our defense over the next decade. I can see this thunder-horse making as big an impact on the defense as fellow Long-horn Jermichael Finley has had on the offense, only I don't think Sergio is coming to the NFL quite so raw, skill-wise. Plus, great name. Welcome to the team Sergio! If you ever wanna go muskie fishing, just shoot me an electronic mail.

Until next time,
FG

Smart Strong Safety

2010-04-19T12:02:00.000-06:00

You can find lots of mock drafts out there, and for the most part, they're a bunch of baloney. For instance, I read today that of all the 'experts' out there, the best anyone did last year was predicting 9 first round picks correctly. Out of 32. So with that in mind, there's little sense is getting overly invested in one player. I'd much rather spend my pre-draft time working in the yard, but that doesn't mean I ignore draft prospects altogether. I enjoy looking for treasures as much as the next NFL fanatic.

I have previously written about how much I like RB Dexter McCluster, possibly as a second round selection... Maybe a third. He's something special.

Another kid I like a bunch is strong safety Myron Rolle, who we could get in the fourth or fifth round. Now, Atari Bigby is a legitimate talent at that position, and I fully expect him to be the starter in 2010, along-side Pro Bowler Nick Collins, but if the playoff loss to the Cardinals proved anything, it's that we lacked depth in the secondary, and I am sure Creepy Ted will look to address that later this week.

Rolle is both a quality football prospect and a really smart kid, and that, strangely enough, is the reason we might be able to grab him in the later rounds. You see, Rolle graduated from Florida State a year early and decided to accept a prestigious Rhodes Scholar position at Oxford University rather than play his final season. So yeah, he will eventually end up becoming a brain surgeon after his football career ends, and that, dear readers, is a bad thing according to the 'experts'. Myron is probably the smartest player in the draft, and because he has interests and talents beyond stuffing the run or shellacking receivers, experts question his value in the NFL. I even read one report saying he might suffer from 'thinking too much'.

To borrow a phrase from younger generations, Whatever.

Creepy Ted values smarts, and so do I. You know what is not smart? Blowing assignments left and right, allowing Kurt Warner to shred your secondary on crossing routes all God-damned day long... Pardon my profanity, dear readers.

Had Myron stayed at Florida State for his final year of eligibility rather than studying brain surgery and visiting alien ruins in England (see picture above), he likely would have gone in the first or second round, meaning he'll provide smarts, talent and extremely great value to whoever grabs him in the later rounds. If it's not Creepy Ted and the Packers, I expect another well-run franchise to select this outstanding prospect. I see great things for this kid, hopefully in Green and Gold.

Until next time, then,
FG

I like saying 'Dexter McCluster'

2010-04-14T14:26:00.000-06:00

You won't find much 'draft chatter' on this site, cause frankly, even the 'experts' on this subject are full of baloney. If they don't know what is going on, how should I? I've got better things to do, like fishing for spring crappies, cleaning the garage, and getting my tomatoes going.

That said, I hope we draft RB Dexter McCluster, who could go in rounds two or three. Why? Well, he's a dangerous weapon that could compliment our pass-happy offense, and I really really like saying 'Dexter McCluster.' And I would totally buy a new McCluster jersey.

I also like saying 'Sergio Kindle' but not nearly as much as 'McCluster'... And the best part of this post, dear readers? It is every bit as important and accurate as any other 'draft prognostication' you might find any-where else. Have fun with it. Say 'McCluster' to your friends this week. Yell it at strangers in the grocery store!

Until next time, then,
McCluster!!!

NFL should consider relegation

2010-04-14T14:16:00.001-06:00

While the National Football League does a lot of things well - chiefly, promoting competitive games top to bottom, allowing a fan of any team to believe that 'this next season is the one' - I think the league could benefit by mixing in a system of promotion and relegation.
This is used in many sporting leagues around the world, but I got the idea stuck in my brains recently since I have been watching more English Premier League football, which uses this system. My grandson, Ike, who is my right-hand-man at the website administration department, is a fan of the Liverpool FC squad (which has fallen on hard times lately), and he has gotten me some-what hooked on the sport, since it fills a blank slate on my yearly sporting calendar and my cousin Walter can tape matches on his fancy digital VHS machine. No, dear readers, I don't care about the NBA. And there is little point in getting excited about the Brewers until later in the summer. So yeah, I enjoy ~~soccer~~ that other football, the one that actually involves the use of the foot on the ball during 99% of the game. I am looking forward to the World Cup. I know what a corner-kick is. Don't worry, though, I won't be wearing a beret or switching to tea any-time soon. I still drive a pick-it-up truck.
:::
Let me preface the rest of my column by saying the implementation of relegation in the NFL is unlikely in the near-term because it would require a 'second-tier' football league to work in conjunction with the NFL, and I just don't think the Canadian Football League is ready at this point. Maybe we could use the SEC.
Essentially, promotion and relegation is like doing a little spring cleaning around the house, or maybe a better example would be making roster cuts before the regular season begins. But instead of cutting an under-performing lineman and sending him to the practice squad, a league-wide system of promotion and relegation would demote a hand-ful of piss-poor teams to the B-League at the end of the season.
Take the 2008 season. The Detroit Lions finished 0-16, marking the worst season in league history. In the NFL, the Lions get another shot at the Super-bowl in 2009 (and 2010), even though they have demonstrated beyond a doubt their inherent horrible-ness. If the NFL used relegation, the Lions would have been sent to the B-League, or the Canadian League.
In their place, the Champion of the B-League would join the NFL. Maybe the 'transfer rate' would include two teams each season, maybe four.
The main benefit of this system is watching crappy teams like the Lions defend their position in the great NFL, and also, to ensure that week 16 and 17 games involving bad teams still have some importance in the grand scheme of things. The Lions may not be playing for the playoffs, but at least they'd have to fight for their league franchise every December. This, by itself, would make the NFL more interesting and allow us to poke fun at the Lions more often - both positives.
Conversely, we would end up with new 'novelty' team every season without giving away spots to expansion teams. Imagine playing the Edmonton Eskimos on Thanksgiving! This system would shake things up every year. More fizz is a good thing. Keeps things interesting.
I am sure there are a number of other large hurdles to implementing this plan, and I don't think it will ever actually happen, so I will just leave it at that. Something fun to think about while we all wait for the draft next week, at the very least.

Until next time, then,
FG

Spring and storms and seeds

2010-04-07T16:46:00.000-06:00

I sat on the screen porch and watched my first good thunder-storm of the spring the other day. I imagined the thunder and the bright white flashes were saying to the bulbs I had planted in yard just hours earlier, "Wake up, Buddy! Are you thirsty? Are you ready?"

The storm hypnotized me. It allowed my mind to wander. How would the gladiolas look next to that cherry tree? What will the Packers do with their first-round pick? What would my father think about a gizmo that doubled as a telephone and a Doppler radar? Does the banjo sound as nice to people in Peru as it does to me? Finally the rain slowed and I went up to bed.

Spring is here and so is baseball, a sport I do love. And much as I love the Brewers and look forward to seeing a few games live this year, the national past-time doesn't grip me the way football does. So the sound of Bob Uecker's voice on the radio-box reminds me that thunder-storms are on the way, and warm weather, but also that we are months and months from kickoff.

Of course the NFL draft is right around that corner, a tiny seed on the schedule that helps bridge the gap between now and September. But what am I gonna do, dear readers? Herald the great-ness of Dexter McCluster? Sing the glories of Sergio Kindle's pass rushing potential? If you know who they are, that's all you can really know. This is a time of year only an NFL expert can love, and even they're wrong half the time. No, dear readers, I won't besiege thee with phony predictions or claims of solutions that the draft may deliver. I'm old enough to know I don't know player evaluation like Creepy Ted. I will wait, like a true gentle-man, until the picks are made to jump to conclusions!

So in closing, I am not dead yet. I just don't write so often this time of year. I'm busy planting flowers and tomatoes, and staring into the dark clouds of cold Wisconsin spring nights. But that said, I missed the old blog like the human brain misses lightening after a long winter. So, Hello!, dear readers. And here is a limerick as a 'thank you' for stopping by on your busy day:

Spring and storms and seeds,
Like Bob Uecker, heeds
That spring is here,
now pass me a beer,
and get ready to pull some weeds.

Until next time, then,
FG

Clifton's a Packer for Life

2010-03-05T21:02:00.000-06:00

After it appeared our only left tackle was gonna hit the road, the team got a deal done with Chad Clifton on the first day of free agency. While the team is still likely to draft the 'tackle of the future' this April, we here at MPU are extremely pleased that Chad will be coming back to shore up the line the next few seasons, and that he will be finishing his career as a Packer. For $7.5 million guaranteed, the deal is a good one all around. And a great way to start the weekend!
- FG

This is March

2010-03-04T14:21:00.000-06:00

Howdy Folks,
Sorry about that last column. I was in a weird mood.

The Brewers are on the radio today and I am planning for at least two more weeks of ice fishing. This seems like an impossibility, but as my Father taught me, Ice takes a long time to form, and a long time to melt. Late ice is some of the best fishing of the year, and it is often so nice out in March that a pale Wisconsin fellow like me must be careful or risk a severe sun-burn. This is a welcome change from early- and mid-ice, when you have to worry about wind burn. Late in the season, it's time for a nifty pair of sun-shades, a dedicated fruity drink sled, and rubber boots to work through the slush.

This is March. I love March. Ice fishing on the brain and green things poking up in the garden beds.

March means free agency is here, and that the combine is complete. Where do the Packers stand today?

Well, I doubt Ted will toss any money around even with an un-capped salary year on deck. The Packers, I am told, will act as though a cap is in place, which I am told is smart business, since the cap will likely be back in 2011. We'll see.

I'd sure like to see them get a deal done with Chad Clifton. We can't afford to have offensive line problems again like last year, and even though I think they'll grab a tackle in the first round, it would be worth every penny they will pay to keep the veteran.

Good luck to the Packers and all ice fishermen this month,
may we all 'ice the big one!'

Until next time, then,
FG

Off-season Horse-head

2010-02-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

Well, readers, it's been several weeks since my failed prediction of a Colts victory in the Super Bowl. I've been laying low the past few weeks, getting the most of the end of ice fishing season here in Wisconsin. It has been nice getting away from the blog, thinking about things other than football. I'm sure most of you feel the same way.

It's that special time of the calendar year when it's OK to let you mind settle into a pro-longed off-season horse-head-ish-ness. Yes, dear readers, I'm currently horse-headed. This is a phrase my Cousin Walter uses a-plenty. Does this mean I have grown a mane and only eat carrots and sugar cubes? Does this mean I have taken a liking to feats of mammal-racing?

No, dear readers. The Off-season Horse-head is simply a derivative of general horse-headed-ness. Lackadaisical-ness, if you will. You see, during the regular season I get so wound up about the Packers than I cannot relax, even when doing non-Packers things, like canning pears or chopping wood. The mind is ... a thrashing sea-squall.

But you've seen horses, controlled by their horse-brains. The horses, for the most part, are a calm creature, nibbling and grazing and whinnying about. So in this respect, the label of Horse-head is some-what a compliment. The kids may have their yoga and their scented candles, but when I need to relax, I try to think like a horse. I put my-self out to pasture on a sunny day, even in the middle of a god-awful gray February.

Horse-headed-ness can also signify a general foolish-ness, and I believe this is what Walter mostly is talking about when he utters those words. And maybe I've been being a bit stir-crazy the last few weeks, too.

I suppose I should say something about the Packers, now that the scouting combine has begun: Draft a beast of a tackle! Draft one as big as a horse!

Until next time, then,
FG

Brees is best

2010-02-07T21:33:00.000-06:00

I didn't give Drew Brees or the Saints enough credit. Their defense played outstanding, and a few key plays bounced their way. Congratulations! - FG

He's the best

2010-02-04T14:46:00.000-06:00

I was listening to my AM Radio this morning, and the question was posed: Who would you rather have, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? That's pretty easy, folks. I'd take Ronnie Rodgers!

But I joke. While you could make the case that Rodgers will be really good, or that Drew Brees is right up there with Tom and Peyton, there's just no argument. Peyton Manning is the greatest quarter-back in the league right now, and he certainly going to be one of the top signal-callers in history by the time he is ready to retire. Aside from his skills as a field general, he's also a player-coach hybrid in many respects. Back in the day this was more common. My uncle Ulysses coached his own high school team and even benched him-self for 'turkey-brained behavior' one game, according to the family legend. The game was different back then.

Manning, like old uncle Ulysses, is really some-thing when it comes to quarter-back-manship. I'll be cheering for him on Sunday. He stands for everything that is good about the game of foot-ball, dear readers. What else can I say?

As of Thursday afternoon, Manning and the Colts are giving 5 points and I would take that bet, if I were a betting man. The local sports-bookery also has this interesting wager available: Over under deluxe buffalo chicken drum-sticks consumed during the Super Bowl by F.G. Union - 14. If you see this line I'd advise you to take the over, folks. If they are listing chicken wings, rather than drum-sticks, take the over on anything up to 57 or so... Like the Finer Manning, I am a Chef-Consumer Hybrid when it comes down to the final two-minute drive, so if you were to walk into my living-room you may over-hear this exchange:

Me, staring down the pan of smoldering hot wings, buffalo sauce stains on my bibbed over-alls, pointing to a really saucy-lookin' chunk of chicken -
"Watch that wing now! HOT ROUTE! (Waving to seating area) Habeneros! Z-slide Looo-eeesiana!...
Hut-hu... 44. 44 Celery! Crunchy! Blue Cheese. Blue Cheese, BLUE! 44!!!
NapKIN! NapKIN! Hut-hut-HUT!"

Then I'd put six more wings on the plate and be back in my seat before the hot sauce could even contemplate my protection schemes, much less my plan of attack, which was an audible dipping route designed to expose their lack of Habeneros. Brilliant. Simply Brilliant.

Anyways, I like the Colts by a dozen, the over on the wings consumed, and I'm guessing we'll see at least one commercial featuring a whale and/or whale song and/or talking krill. Take 'em to the bank, dear readers!
Until next time, then,
FG

Same OLD Story

2010-01-24T23:26:00.002-06:00

When it matters most, a Saints DB picks off #4 in the NFC Championship .

There's the Old What's His Name I remember: Classic Playoff Brett.

I don't mean to gloat, dear readers, but I am certainly relieved he won't be leading the Vikings to the Super-Bowl. He had me tricked once again, and I am pleased to think about Vikings fans feeling that pain this evening. I know EXACTLY how they feel, and frankly, I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. Biggest spot of the season and - there you go - That's why he's the King of Interceptions and poor decisions. He may be one of the best regular season QBs ever, but like a skipping record, history seems to repeat itself year after year in the playoffs.

The kids on Twitter are citing an interesting factoid this evening: Favre's final passes with the Falcons, Packers and Jets were intercepted, and it now appears the old psychopath is destined to end his career with a horrible turnover.

Yeah. Sure. It will NEVER end.

While I am relieved and ecstatic that the Vikings will yet again fail to win it all, I have to admit I enjoyed the game. It was a classic playoff game, well-contested on both sides, and Old What's His Name showed why he is one of the greats. If it weren't for him that team would never have gone that far. I do admire the heart, dear readers. Always have.

But if you saw the post-game press conference you also saw why signing him was such a gamble by the Vikings. The man is Old and his face looked like a tenderized steak. The gamble came up short and now the question leaps back onto the table. And until it is answered the franchise is held hostage. He's their head-ache now.

And I am soooo glad I don't have to worry about that as a Packer fan any longer. I know right now what next fall holds and the future looks bright. The future looks very bright for many years to come.

:::

I am really looking forward to the Super-Bowl between the two top seeded teams in the playoffs. It should be a dandy. Check back later this week for my prediction column. Until then,
FG

Rare gems

2010-01-15T17:13:00.002-06:00

Are you still hurting, dear readers? I know, going into this weekend, I still am. Will be for a long time, too. That was one tough cookie of a loss. Like thinking you're grabbing a blue-gill out of the pond and getting your paw ripped off by a snapping turtle...

Now where'in'tha'hell did you come from you dirty rascal?!?!

I've read, as I'm sure many of you have, plenty of 'expert' commentary on 'what went wrong' in the desert this week. Plenty of it hits the mark; some is just silly-ness. I haven't really moved from my initial reaction, though, that they had their chances to win it, despite a defense that had no business in the playoffs. Why analyze it more than that, folks? We lost. Only time will make me feel better about it, not some equation on blitz percentage or crying about the refs.

That said, I think what most people are missing in the near-term is appreciation for just being there, and for being part of one of the most amazing games in playoff foot-ball.

We, dear readers, witnessed a rare gem last week. We enjoyed (for the most part) the regular season ups and downs that led us to that point. We enjoyed (with white knuckles), the four quarters of offensive fire-works on that wild-card field. And we enjoyed, I hope, the big picture of this season much more than the fluky finale. Some-times Packers fans' dedication can turn a person inside-out when it don't go right, and most seasons that's just how it goes.

Am I right? Of course.

I'm not asking you to rush your-selves through the anger of defeat. I'm not there myself. Maybe by June or July, when the sun burns it from my brains. But when we do come to terms with reality, and we will, I assure you, let us remember that game not for the failures and heart-breaks, no, but for the positives.

Say it with me, folks:
Ronnie Rodgers!
Jermichael Finley!
Greg Jennings!
Ryan Grant!
Charles Woodsen!
Nick Collins!
CM3!

I always say that the team comes before the individual, but just look at the young foundation (well, aside from Woodsen) this team is built on. This rare gem of a game was nothing if but a glimpse as to the brilliance of the near-term future, and that's some-thing to smile about on a gloomy day.

Until next time, then.
FG

Yelling at the television set (Wild-card)

2010-01-11T10:50:00.002-06:00

• In the three biggest games of the year, our vaunted #2-ranked defense has looked like leaky wooden row-boat in the face of a senior-citizen quarterback. You aren't gonna win too many playoff games when you give up a first down on almost every defensive snap.
• In two of McCarthy's first three play-off games, the team has come out of the gate like a dead horse. Against Seattle and the Cardinals, we started the game with two fast turn-overs resulting in a 0-14 score.
• Ronnie Rodgers is going to be a very talented QB for many years to come if he can stay healthy, but he missed two dagger touch-down passes to Greg Jennings yesterday, including one on the first play of OT that should have ended the game. I've grown to respect and admire Rodgers this season, and he played his heart out yesterday, but you've got to make those plays.
• Hard to accept losing two playoff games in a row in Over-time. I am sick today.
• Maybe in hind-site, we were simply a middle-of-the-road team this year that had an amazing turn-over differential. The turn-over well dried up on Sunday, and our offense had some un-characteristic mistakes, and that, in a close game, was too much to over-come.
• I hate Mondays.

Until next time, then,
FG

The playoffs are strange and wonderful

2010-01-06T13:08:00.009-06:00

I mentioned a few posts back about how Mooney and I got a fancy new television set for Christmas. Not only did we get a High-Definition picture-box, we also got a Digital Video Disc player machine! And we also got the entire Twin Peaks Box Set, which we have been watching almost nightly. Now that, dear readers, is one strange story!

Strange and wonderful.

And I highly recommend it. Twin Peaks is one of Mooney's favorite programs, and I even found her a Log Lady T-shirt for Valentine's Day a few years back. Up until a year ago or so, though, you could only get the first season - on good-old VHS tapes. Nowadays you can get the original movie and both full seasons in one box set! Oh my, The wonders of digital technology!!!

We are getting near the end of the story, and in last night's eerie episode, FBI Agent Dale Cooper had a few memorable quotes. The first: "Fellas, coincidence and fate figure largely in our lives."

Now this is an interesting observation, don't you think? Coincidence, implies Coop, is far more than coincidence. We could discuss this for all of 2010 and I'm sure many of us wouldn't budge from our stumps in the Science v. Faith debate, and that's OK. But I guess I accept, reluctantly at times, the idea of fate. It sure makes it easier to deal with the world when things don't go your way, dear readers. At the same time, it implies that your decisions are not really decisions at all. You are a needle on a record player, and you didn't pick the album. And that's a bit depressing as well.

The best part about this line of reasoning is that I am and always will be a Packers fan. It was predetermined. It is a part of me as much as my beautiful wife Mooney or my love of the out-of-doors. You are what you are. Fate makes it easier to humble triumphs and accept faults. My brother-in-law Herb, for instance, can't help it that he is more a fan of Old Whats His Name and the Vikings than the Green and Gold. Maybe that was fate, but I guess it still makes me squirm.

It was fate, then, that put the Packers in the desert for two weeks straight, fate that brought Agent Cooper to Twin Peaks, and fate that led me to the next quote in this column: "Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

Agent Cooper was referring to his search for the Black Lodge, the presumed hide-out of sinister spirit and over-all creep, Bob. (Mooney covers her little eyes any-time Bob appears on screen). Taking this second quote in the context of the first, it can easily apply to the Packers and the playoff tournament ahead.

You can whirl your-self around the internet and find lots of ideas and predictions on what will happen, and I do find some of these interesting, but today I find myself both excited, optimistic and a bit uneasy about the wild-card matchup in Arizona. The playoffs are strange and wonderful, dear readers, and I intend to enjoy them to the fullest no matter the outcome.

As my friend The Warden says when ice-fishing, "Every tip-up is a gift."

The strange and wonderful things in life come along rarely and you never know how long it will be until another opportunity will arrive, so today I say, Smell the Desert Roses, if such a plant exists, and drink in the playoff run. Of course, I am pretty darned sure the Packers will stomp the Cardinals again on Sunday, so maybe that makes it easier to believe fate is in play (and that it is on our side).

So we are going back to the Red Room this Sunday. I like our matchups on both sides of the ball, and I am expecting a close game and hoping for a blow-out. I think Finley will rip it up and I also think the defense will rattle old man Warner early and often, en route to victory. Mark it, folks: Packers - 27, Cardinals, 14.

Your visiting MPU is, of course, predetermined (Thank you, Universe!), but until next time,
FG

Another weekend in the desert

2010-01-04T14:40:00.005-06:00

Week 17 of the NFL season looked more like week 4 of the pre-season, as half the teams were benching their starters and the other half were mailing it in. In fact, now that I got my 4,098,211th column start today, I'm gonna hand over the remaining paragraphs to my kitty-cat while I relax in my rocking chair trying to avoid spraining my space-bar thumb.

Meow, dear readers. Me favorite Packer meow Jermichael Finley. Jermeowchael meow matchup problems meow a tiger meowgainst a mouse.

Okay, enough of that non-sense, but you see my point. My kitty-cat might know that Jermichael is going to be impossible to stop for years to come, but listening to him try and punch the keys on my type-writer is like watching Matt Leinart trying to complete a pass to some-one on his own team. It's a pain-ful thing to watch, folks.

So the big debate is whether or not it helps to rest your top players prior to the playoffs if the game "means nothing." I don't get paid to make those decisions, but it sure was fun to see the Pack obliterate the Cardinals on Sunday. Even though they benched quite a few starters, the Cardinals still managed to lose two of their best players to injury, while the Packers seem to have lucked out on another aggravation to Charles Woodsen's shoulder.

The Desert Dwellers may say they weren't trying, but while Old Man Warner was resting, key players like Larry Fitzgerald weren't, and they basically got their cacti kicked around the rink for 60 minutes from the top of the roster to the bottom. So I guess I liked Big Mac's strategy to keep his foot on the gas pedal. Aside from that miracle in Pittsburgh, the team has been on a roll lately and I am a big believer in the sub-conscious properties of momentum, in addition to the known physics. Put another way, if I was Larry Fitz or an average Cardinal fan, I wouldn't be feeling so rosy this morning. It's not like we showed them our actual hand, either. They got burned like a sleeping lizard on a hot rock facing our watered-down play-books.

In the end, week 17 won't matter for much, much like paragraph two of this column. We've got another weekend in the desert, playing a team with a worse record that some-how got home field advantage any-ways for winning the dumpster fire that is the NFC west (maybe this would be one way to encourage less slacking in the future?). And I think we'll win convincingly in week 18. The team looks balanced. They look mean. They look hungry. Hope-fully that all adds up to the first playoff victory in the Rodgers era.

Check back on the site often this week as I post additional thoughts and ideas leading up to the wild-card game and the rest of the second season.

Until next time, folks, Welcome Back to the Playoffs, and Go Pack Go!
-FG

Yelling at the Television Set - Arizona

2010-01-03T19:23:00.002-06:00

- After seeing a few teams just giving up in games lately, it was nice to see the Pack stick with their starters until the game was out of reach.
- A result like that can make us think next week will be easy-peasy, but don't be fooled.
- I guess the penalties will never be cleaned up, but this week wasn't too bad.
- Ronnie Rodgers is gonna be good for a long, long time.
- So is J. Finley!
- We may have a high-octane offense, but the defense will need to keep up the top-end work if we're gonna do anything in January.
- Excellent sign: "Water covers 3/4 of the earth, Charles Woodsen covers the rest."
- Love to hear 'Go Pack Go' at away games!
- I feel sorry for all these folks spending January in Arizona... They're missing all this fantastic bitter cold, poor souls!
- So I guess I over-reacted after that Tampa game, eh? This team is pretty damned good.
- Happy New Years, dear readers!

-FG

The Final Dozen

2009-12-28T08:30:00.001-06:00

By half-time we all basically knew we were heading back to the playoffs as an NFC wild-card team, with the Pack stomping on the Sea-hawks and the Giants laying a big egg. In that respect, it was a swell day, since it was the Giants who ruined our hopes in 2007.

The playoffs offer hope each year, no matter how many problems your team may have, and this year's Packers have plenty. Oh yes, they do. But, dear readers, I have hope that four wins can be ours. As you and I see every week in the NFL, any team can win any week, and no team in the NFC is beyond our reach.

It really makes this old columnist happy to know that Ronnie Rodgers will be getting his first crack at the second season this year. I'm excited for him, and I'm excited to see how he handles himself. I think he'll do well. I'm excited to see whether this defense can lead us to victories on the road.

While it is true that any team in the final dozen can go on to win the Lombardi Trophy, I am realistic. I don't think we have a terribly great chance to win, to be honest with you folks. It's hard enough to win on the road, much less winning three games on the road in the playoffs, followed by a win in the Super-Bowl. It just seems we are too in-consistent, but what do I know? That said, though, I think once the coin is flipped in early January, I'm gonna be confident each and every game we are lucky enough to play in. It's hard to be realistic in the heat of the moment, folks.

Whenever I go ice fishing I like to be practical in my expectations, but I always end up throwing the ball deep. No matter what the conditions, I'll usually put a huge sucker on one of my traps, hoping for that special fish. Nine times out of ten, or maybe more, the biggest bait you can find won't get hit, and I guess this is the plight of a wild-card team. The chance is there, yes, but most years that flag never flies. It sits there idly, and then eventually it gets dark and you pick it up and head back to the truck, thinking, maybe next time, maybe next year...

But this is why ice fishing and the NFL are so great, dear readers. Sometimes you look out there and the 'big sucker' flag is up, waving in the wind, and you kind of give it a double-take, and then you realize that you might just have a monster of a pike on the other end of that line. Even at this point you sometimes don't catch the big one, but sometimes, no matter how long the odds, you feel the weight of glory on that line when you set the hook home, and then you know you've got a true beast in your hands. This moment, dear readers, is what makes all the patience and frustrations worth your while.

So I'm looking forward to January, of course, just as I am looking forward to getting out on the ice where the big girls swim tomorrow. It's no matter if I got skunked yesterday. Tomorrow is another chance to think big!

As for next week, at Arizona, it doesn't seem either team will have much to play for, and since we could face the Cardinals again in the wild-card, we probably will see vanilla schemes on both sides of the ball-game. In other words, it'll be another pre-season game, only in this case the 'real season' will be the playoffs on the horizon.